The Novelia..✿

Novelia...✿

Chapter 1

BEFORE LUCA

I was going to confess my feelings to Bryan that day.

After almost ten years of keeping them to myself, I had finally decided that I was done being a coward.

I was going to tell him.

No more wondering.

No more overthinking every smile, every lingering look, every late-night conversation.

No more convincing myself that maybe—just maybe—he felt the same way.

I had rehearsed the words so many times that I could practically say them in my sleep.

Bryan, I like you.

That was it.

Four words.

Four terrifying words I'd been carrying around for years.

My palms were sweating as I walked through the school hallway, clutching the strap of my bag.

My heart was beating ridiculously fast.

I had planned everything.

I'd wait until we were alone.

I'd look him in the eyes.

And I'd finally tell my best friend that I had been in love with him for almost half my life.

Maybe he'd be surprised.

Maybe he'd laugh.

Maybe he'd stare at me like I'd completely lost my mind.

Or maybe—

Just maybe—

he'd smile and tell me he'd been waiting for me to say it.

That was the possibility I kept holding on to.

The one that made my stomach flutter.

The one that made all those years of secretly liking him feel worth it.

I turned the corner.

And then I saw them.

Bryan.

And Ella.

I slowed down.

They were standing near the back of the school building, away from everyone else.

Ella was saying something.

Bryan laughed.

I smiled automatically.

There he was.

The boy I'd spent almost ten years liking.

The boy I was about to confess my feelings to.

I took a breath and started walking toward them.

Then Ella stepped closer.

My smile faded.

Bryan looked at her.

She looked at him.

For a second, neither of them said anything.

Then Bryan reached for her.

And kissed her.

I stopped.

Completely.

My brain refused to process what my eyes were seeing.

Bryan was kissing Ella.

Ella was kissing Bryan.

I blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Maybe I was seeing it wrong.

Maybe—

No.

There was no misunderstanding.

They pulled apart.

Ella smiled.

Bryan smiled back.

And something inside me quietly broke.

I don't know how long I stood there.

A few seconds.

Maybe a minute.

It felt like hours.

My fingers tightened around my bag.

Just moments ago, I'd been imagining myself confessing my feelings to Bryan.

I'd been imagining his reaction.

Imagining what it would be like if he finally told me he felt the same way.

And now...

He was kissing my second-best friend.

Ella.

Of all people.

I couldn't even be angry.

That was the worst part.

Because Bryan had never promised me anything.

He had never told me he loved me.

He had never asked me to wait for him.

And Ella didn't know.

As far as they knew, I was just their friend.

The girl who had spent almost ten years quietly falling for someone who had never fallen back.

I took a step backward.

Then another.

Neither of them noticed me.

Good.

I didn't want them to.

I turned around before the tears could betray me.

I walked away.

Then faster.

By the time I reached the other side of the building, I was practically running.

I didn't know where I was going.

I just knew I needed to get away from them.

From him.

From the stupid hope I'd carried for almost ten years.

Because suddenly, every little thing Bryan had ever done felt different.

Every time he'd stared at me.

Every time he'd teased me.

Every random text.

Every compliment.

Every time he'd chosen to sit beside me when there were plenty of other seats.

I'd thought those things meant something.

I'd built an entire love story out of them.

And apparently...

I'd been the only one living in it.

I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.

Idiot.

That was what I felt like.

An absolute idiot.

I'd been so sure that one day Bryan would look at me and finally see me the way I'd always seen him.

But he'd already been looking at someone else.

And it wasn't me.

It was Ella.

My friend.

The girl I'd never once suspected.

The girl who had just kissed the boy I'd loved for almost ten years.

I wiped my face quickly.

No.

I wasn't going to cry.

Not over this.

I refused.

I had exams starting in three days.

I had a future to think about.

I had a life outside of Bryan.

At least, that's what I told myself.

That evening, I sat at my desk with my books spread out in front of me.

I stared at the same page for nearly twenty minutes.

I hadn't read a single word.

My mind kept dragging me back to that moment.

Bryan.

Ella.

The kiss.

Again.

And again.

And again.

I finally closed my book.

Maybe this was a sign.

Maybe it was time to let him go.

I'd spent almost ten years loving someone who had never been mine.

Maybe I was finally supposed to stop.

So I made myself a promise.

From that day forward, Bryan was just my best friend.

Nothing more.

No secret crush.

No stupid fantasies.

No imagining what it would be like to kiss him.

No hoping he'd someday choose me.

I was done.

I repeated it until I almost believed it.

I don't love Bryan.

Again.

I never loved Bryan.

Again.

It was never real.

Again.

I was just confused.

I said it so many times that eventually, the words stopped hurting.

Or maybe...

I'd just gotten better at lying to myself.

My phone buzzed.

I looked down.

Bryan: Hey. Are you okay? You disappeared.

I stared at his name.

For a moment, my heart did the stupid little flip it always did whenever he texted me.

Then I forced myself to breathe.

He was my best friend.

Nothing more.

I typed back.

Me: I'm fine.

The reply came almost immediately.

Bryan: Are you sure?

I stared at the screen.

Then another message appeared.

Bryan: Lisa, there's something I need to tell you.

My heart stopped.

Because somehow, despite everything I'd just promised myself...

A tiny, stupid part of me still hoped.

What was he going to say?