Chapter 1 ARISE
As I slowly opened my eyes, I found myself surrounded by an endless expanse of shimmering white. The air was crisp and cool, like a refreshing breath of fresh air on a morning stroll. But where was I? More importantly, who was I? My memories seemed shrouded in a thick fog, refusing to let me see clearly. Panic began to set in as my mind screamed, “you’re dead, you’re dead!” The thought sent a shiver down my spine. I longed to see my reflection, to gaze upon my own face, and perhaps recall a shred of my identity. Suddenly, a shimmering golden altar appeared before me. Was it always there? How could I have missed its marvelous display?
I felt an inexplicable pull towards it, as an unseen force actively drew me closer.
A fire ignited in my heart, a will to live despite not understanding who or what I am. Drawing closer I saw the source of enticement. Inside a golden adorned bowl filled with floating pearls and water that glowed like the moon. After thinking this thought, a feeling of confusion washed over me, what was a moon? I thought to myself. My heart began racing as I knelt down before the bowl and the need to drink from the altar began to rise like a well that’s thirst was never ending, but there lingered a subtle fear behind my eagerness. Fear of the unknown.
For some reason, I’m afraid I’ll drown in this water. At the first wrong move. As if I knew there will be no turning back to the old.
What if it sends me into another spectrum, I’m not sure I am ready for. My thoughts and my actions contradict me. My feelings and this processing of thoughts. It baffled me.
Thinking
Processing
Understanding, what I don’t understand and what I do, at the same time. With what little I do know at this current state; it’s impossible to know for sure what the right decision is.
The ignited fire grew. I caught the first sight of myself peering into the golden bowl. Messy green hair falling into my eyes, feeling both fascinated and terrified. My eyes filled with optimism, “Not too bad; if I do say so myself”.
It was as if analyzing myself while knowing myself and not knowing…Processing emotions, feelings without fully understanding where it came from.
I ? A slender, toned young man, with a pair of vivid magenta eyes that burned with intensity. Two jagged scars cut a permanent ‘X’ across my upper cheek. I gently trace where it lays “What is this?” I exclaimed out loud, no longer able to contain the mental battle I face; vs what my eyes have now seen.
My mind reeling with confusion as I gently traced the scar again, trying to remember. I pace up and down the empty space before me. What happened to me? Why don’t I recognize my own face? I put my hand through my messy green hair, thinking for a moment whilst hovering over the bowl again.
Caught in the moment. I decided to scoop up a handful of the pearly liquid substance and drink it, but that wasn’t enough to clear my head so I put my face in it. Deliberately going against that very fear of drowning.
The feeling on my skin was comforting and refreshing.
I instantly felt sure.
All the overthinking fled away and this sensation of something new took over me; “It must be”… My thoughts trail off and are interrupted by the sudden drop in temperature.
Was it always this quiet in this place.. I looked around to see if anything changed but all I could see was an expansion of white nothingness glaring around me. It seemed to go on forever. The altar was gone.
I can feel the cool air around me directly on my skin. It made my hair stand up on my arms, giving me goosebumps.
And then it hit me! BAAAAM! Suddenly my first memory comes to mind after not being able to remember ANYTHING.
I SUDDENLY REMEMBERED EVERYTHING, only for a brief second; a mosaic of images.
The memory of having tiny delicate wings and being weighed down. Unable to move after encountering liquid surfaces. But it wasn’t like this pearly type of liquid I had encountered. It was transparent but dirty?
Another memory surfaced, I remember a wooden table and a newspaper knocking me midair causing me to land to a death I often fought to avoid throughout my lifetime. I stand staring off into the white expanse, acknowledging that this time… I feel… I feel… the opposite!
The thought of drowning, that once frightened me. Seemed to be a drifting memory of another life. The fear of a short lived life, stolen by another. A lifetime away.
However, me right now? with this newfound sense of awareness! was different. Everything was DIFFEREN. I take a few steps back and suddenly anxiety wells up inside me where there was once a fire but I’m not sure where the feeling is stemming from.
My mind is blank. All those flooding memories suddenly blanked. After processing what I’m thinking and feeling, I come to the conclusion that the fear of suddenly drowning doesn’t make sense. But it must have something to do with my first memory.
It’s clear that I’m far larger than the golden bowl I drank from. I looked at my hands stretched out before me but in my memory everything seemed larger. And from my perspective; I was tiny in comparison, but now…“Nothing makes sense!!” I speak out loud to myself, in hopes that it would help me think better and bring back more memories. Instead I’m instantly filled with frustration.
The pearly liquid taste still lingered on my tongue. It left a warm licorice sensation that wasn’t there at first.
I closed my eyes to focus my senses and an aroma of frankincense filled my nose. Staggering backward, suddenly the endless expanse of white surrounding me turned into utter darkness!
