Of Convenience

Ethan

Andy would've loved the view.

I stood at the kitchen island unpacking as I stared out the glass doors to patio that overlooked the woods. The first hint of orange and gold was just starting to color the leaves. He would've fallen in love with this house with its homey wooden beams overhead and open spaces. I could almost see him in the mornings in this kitchen, pouring his coffee, half asleep while sunshine poured in through the windows to make his deep auburn hair shine.

That would never happen.

My husband would never see this house.

I turned my attention back to the coffee mugs I'd just finished unpacking. Most of them were cream colored, a matching set, but one of them wasn't. It was a glazed pottery mug with a small bee emblazoned on it that Andy had bought at a little roadside farmer's market the summer after we'd gotten married. It was heavier than the others. I traced my thumb over the delicate little bee and then placed it on the shelf before I started with the others. Each mug had a place on the shelf with the handles all facing the same direction. At least I was getting some kind of organization back in our lives. Moving was never easy for anyone but it felt like every change to our routine made me on edge. I’d learned to manage change on my own after Andy died.

I heard Owen make an explosion sound behind me. He was on the living room floor with his Legos already unpacked. A monster truck in one hand, he rolled over the obstacles he had just built. Owen was four now. He'd barely eighteen months old when Andy had been struck by a drunk driver as he drove home from work.

You never fucking expect it.

The world you know,the life you planned, it just ends.

There was no raising our son together, no growing old. The story we'd written together was over because some asshole had one to many and was too fucking stupid to get a ride home. A couple of careless drinks was all it took to steal my son's childhood with both his fathers.

Despite it all, I was grateful.

I still had our Owen. He was the reason that I got up in the morning. Our little cub was the carbon copy of my husband with his dark auburn curls and big blue eyes. He was all I needed. I'd had my chance at love. Andrew O’Day had been it for me and I'd long since accepted that. Before I'd met Andy, I suspected I'd spend my life alone, that was until a lawyer with mischievous streak and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen chatted me up for reasons other than waiting to represent my company.

You were lucky he gave you the time of day, you awkward bastard.

“Daddy,” Owen called to me,“Can we get pizza tonight? It feels like a pizza night.”

It always felt like a pizza night.

"Hmmm, I dunno,"I smiled, “If we do, I’m going to put mushrooms on it."

"Ewwwwwwww," Owen gagged, "They tastes like frogs.”

Frogs?

That was a new one.

“Pepperoni it is then," I conceded," One day you’ll let me have them.”

"Never,"Owen scoffed," They're slimy like frogs too.”

“What do you have against frogs today, cubby?” I closed the cabinet door.“I thought you loved Frog and Toad?”

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna eat them.”

Makes perfect sense.

“Fine, you win," I crossed the kitchen to where I'd left my phone beside the sink. "One mushroom free pizza, coming right up."

Dear sweet, Jesus, what the fuck is that?

I flinched and jumped back as my sock touched and absorbed something wet on the hardwood. A wet sock was more than enough to make my skin crawl. I crouched down to see a small puddle of water on the floor just before the cabinet under the sink.

“Fuck,” I mouthed to myself.

Opening the cabinet, I found the culprit, a steady drip from the pipes that was wetting the new cleaning supplies. I couldn’t be too mad about it. That annoying little leak was the only issue with the house so far and it didn’t look too bad. Tomorrow when things were more settled I’d go to the hardware store for a new fitting.

When I stood, I found Owen standing beside me,“Daddy, my belly says ‘Rawr!’”

"This belly? This one right here?" I snatched him up, tickling his belly, "Doesn't seem vicious."

"Yes!"he giggled. Owen wriggled against me,"It's like it has a big ol' grizzledy bear in it!"

"That bear hungry enough to eat mushrooms?"

“Ewww!" he shook his head. "Nooooo!”

Setting him down, I grabbed my phone and looked up the local pizza places. This must be one of those small town perks, there were only two to choose from and both had glowing reviews.

Probably because they are the only game in town. But even really bad pizza isn't that bad, is it?

“Can we eat on the floor like picnic?” Owen plopped back down on the floor with his toys.

“Of course,” I said, leaning against the counter as I ordered on the restaurant's website. "A floor picnic is the best way to celebrate the first night in our new house."

"Maybe soon we can go on an outside picnic," he looked over at me hopefully.

"I bet we can," I sat the phone back on the countertop,"The best part about Mallard's Point is all the parks. Once we get the house in order, why don't you and I go exploring?"

"Yes!" Owen practically squealed in agreement,"Exploring like we used to do back home!"

Back home, back in Boston where you couldn't stand to live in the wreckage of your old life anymore, you coward.

I turned back to the sink and grabbed a dish towel to mop up the water. The leak was just an annoyance, one more thing on the endless 'to do' list that came with moving. I tracked down a small bowl in one of the boxes and I opened the cabinet to set it under the dripping pipe.

I sighed softly, sitting back on my heels to watch my son chatter away as he played in an unfamiliar house.

This was home now.