Chapter 1
What does marriage feel like, you ask?
It feels like Heaven.
Marriage makes you feel content and at peace, especially when you’re with the person you love most. It’s like being in Heaven or winning the lottery when you marry the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
No matter where we got married, how long I had to wait, or what challenges we faced, I believed it would always feel like Heaven—a place I’d never want to leave.
That’s how I felt when I married Lester.
When he asked me to marry him, it felt as though he’d brought Heaven into my life. I was so happy, believing we wanted the same future.
At thirty-four, I felt like I needed to hurry up and get my life together because I wasn’t getting any younger.
“It’s better if we get married in California.”
He insisted that we get married in California, even though we could have married in the Philippines since neither of us had been married before.
“All right. Wherever you’re happy, I’ll be happy, too.”
I was simply too naive to consider that he might have a hidden agenda.
I might have been older, but I was still a fool when it came to love. I was too naive to care about anything else. All I wanted was to marry him as soon as possible.
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, believing he wanted the same. Many people disapproved of our marriage because he was only twenty-five. But did age really matter when it came to love? The only thing that mattered was that we loved each other, right?
They warned me that Lester would eventually look for someone younger. Some even suspected he was only after my money. I was wealthy, while he had been an ordinary employee at a construction company when we first met.
I was too foolish to listen to anyone but him.
“I, Yanna Cassandra Ford, take you, Lance Lester Madrid, to be my husband, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do we part. In the presence of God, I make this vow.”
Tears continued to stream down my face as I remembered how Lester had looked at me before the altar, as though I were the most beautiful gift he’d ever received. I looked at him the same way. He was the happiest thing that had ever happened to me, and I didn’t care about anyone who had opposed our marriage.
He had accepted me despite my age, my imperfections, and all my flaws. It was the best day of my life, and I believed it would always be.
But that was only how I had seen it.
“Ohhh, yes, Lester... You’re so good. Ah, I love the way you swirl your tongue...”
Remembering our marriage now brought a smile to my face even as an unbearable pain tore through me.
That marriage had taken me to Heaven, only to send me crashing straight into Hell.
It felt as though a knife were repeatedly stabbing my chest. My whole world crumbled as I stared at my husband, kneeling between the thighs of a woman sitting on top of his desk.
The woman was turned sideways, so I couldn’t see her face clearly at first. She was gripping the desk as Lester continued kissing and pleasuring her. I could hear every sound they made from where I stood.
We had been married for three years, and I had thought our marriage would last forever. But it hadn’t.
How had I been so blinded by love? I should have listened to those who warned me that he would eventually look for someone younger and that he might only be after my money.
“A-Aahhh, Lester! That feels so good!” the woman cried out, her eyes rolling back.
“Fuck, I love the way you moan,” Lester replied, sounding almost feral with desire as he intensified his efforts.
It was the first time I’d ever seen him so eager during foreplay. He used to refuse to teach me anything about sex or even sleep with me. I’d assumed he was simply tired.
So that was why we’d gone months without any intimacy. He’d been keeping himself busy with someone else all along.
And as I watched him with her, I realized she looked familiar.
Her silky black hair fell to her waist. She had snow-white skin and an almost perfect figure...
“Francine?”
Shock and fear filled my voice as I finally got a clear look at her face.
My friend. My former employee. The woman I’d trusted enough to promote to the position of Lester’s secretary at the very company I’d helped him build. I’d thought she was innocent, the kind of woman who wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Yet she was the very woman my husband was shamelessly fooling around with.
I couldn’t move my feet or even let go of the Black Forest cake I’d bought to congratulate Lester on his new project—one I’d practically helped manage myself.
All I could do was clutch the box tightly, as though it were the only thing keeping me sane.
“Yanna?” Lester immediately stopped what he was doing when he heard my voice.
His face turned pale when he saw me, but my gaze remained fixed on his wet lips. I wanted to rush toward them, yet my feet seemed rooted to the floor.
“Continue, Lester. Don’t mind your wife. Let her enjoy the live show,” Francine said seductively, looking straight at me. “You wouldn’t mind the live show, right? You can touch yourself if you want.”
She even winked at me before grabbing Lester’s head and guiding it back toward her, as though I weren’t even there—as though I were nothing more than a ghost forced to watch their indecency.
My chest tightened, and anger rushed to my head. I was at Madrid Constructions, where everyone was loyal to Lester, but I could no longer stand there and let them humiliate me right in front of my face.
“You shameless bastards!”
I finally found the strength to throw the cake toward the side of the office, as though I were throwing away the last of my patience along with it. As soon as I reached them, I kicked Lester right where it hurt most before turning on Francine.
I grabbed her hair with all my strength and yanked at it as though I could pull every strand from her scalp—as though hurting her could somehow ease the pain tearing through my heart.
She immediately grabbed my hair and pulled back. The pain stung my scalp, but I no longer cared. I might have looked pathetic, but that was the last thing on my mind.
All that mattered was hurting her as much as I could, hoping it would ease the pain I was feeling.
