Wolves Of Damnation

I awoke suddenly to the enclosing stench of blood invading my nostrils, bodies dumped onto my person. As I slowly pushed them off me, I came to realise bodies were the only thing I could see. Legs twisted, Torsos cut to shreds, faces frozen in desperation, fear for miles and miles, that was all I could see under the setting of a crimson sun. I trembled at the sight: it was a sight that broke wills, shrouded minds. My samurai armour, once a proud emerald, now was a bloodstained brown and my whole body ached as I forced myself up, inch by inch.

I now stood, legs crooked, shaking and stumbled through the rivers of blood and mud that would irritably stick to my Armor, one leg at a time onto the bodies of comrade and foe, whoever they were. I brushed my long, jet black bangs off my forehead, sweat trickling down, and briefly closed my eyes, hoping to wake up from this nightmare. At last, I saw a blur of motion, a morsel of hope being rekindled in me. It was another man, same as me, on his knees and struggling to stand. I opened my mouth to call out to him and closed it; his armour was pure black, the signature armour of the clan of Fujiwara. I wrapped my hand around the ragged hilt of my katana, shaking uncontrollably, my face scrunched up. And then I let go of my weapon. I pulled my inanimate body forward, sharp pangs raging all throughout. What good would more fighting do? As I reached the man, hollow shells that once used to be eyes peered at the lifeless husks. He stared at his quivering hands, covered in dried blood.

‘ I…. killed them..’ he whispered, a faint voice carried by the wind.

‘No….no…’ he said, this time louder.

‘No! No!’ He screamed, starting to uncontrollably sob. I assumed he had gone insane and put my hand on his shoulder.

‘There is nothing you could have done.’ I spoke, realising my throat was hoarse from all the screaming in battle. He slowly turned his head up to me and I could just make out under his helmet that his eyes went bloodshot wide.

‘You….you’ he again whispered, barely discernible.

‘You did this! You killed them!’ He abruptly shouted, drawing his katana and standing up with hysterical strength. I winced and fell to the ground, my frail legs no longer being able to support the 10 kilos of steel on my body.

‘I will take revenge! The Tachibana shall fall to ruin!’ He roared, raising his katana above his head and getting ready to strike. I scrambled to get mine out of its sheath but my once strong and reliable hands now struggled to draw it and feebly raise it above my head, knowing my end was near.

Just as the blades were about to collide, an arrow flew over me, slightly rumpling my hair, and lodged itself straight between his eyes. His face froze in a shocked expression, jaw gaping wide, his pupils dilated. Blood slowly seeped from the wound and he fell onto me, causing it to ooze through the openings in my Armor and make my hairs stand on end. I sat heavily panting, taking shallow breathes and my vision started to blur. The fields echoed with agony, blood, cries of the dead: not a single sound broke through.

‘You’d best be careful with those lot, Benimaru’ A deep, harsh voice came through the thick silence. I painfully twisted my torso around to see General Nakamura slinging his war bow on his back and casually strolling through the corpses with a sour expression.

‘Old man Naka..’ I whispered, half relief and half still shocked.

He was quite old for this line of work, working for over 40 years and still working at the ripe old age of 64. He ruffled his short grey hair and heavily sighed.

‘This is going to be such a hassle..’ he trailed off. My hands were still trembling, now with fresh blood instead. How did the General not care about all these people, their families, their lives?

‘Well at least, got revenge for me, am I right Beni?’ He said, pointing to a new bandage on his right eye with a small grin on his face.

‘That kid got me good earlier, guess I’ve been getting sloppy’ he chuckled, removing the body off me and chucking it behind him with a strength currently unknown to me.

‘Well come on now, get up’ he said, offering his hand. My face grimaced with anger.

‘What about all these people?!’ I cried, slapping his hand away. As I slowly lifted my face to look at his, I saw his face scrunch up and grow thinner, showing his age.

He crouched down beside me and spoke softly,

‘Listen Beni, a samurai’s honour is the most important thing to him. All these men died in battle for the service of their nation. That’s the greatest honour they can receive.’

‘What good is honour if you’re dead?!’ I retorted, looking into his dark, viridian eyes.

‘Benimaru Wren,’ he stated, raising himself. His face took on a solemn tone and he loomed over me, as if a giant from the fairy tales.

‘You are a part of the strongest family of Samurai in the land of Fire. You are blessed with the gift of swordsmanship. Use it to bring honour to your clan, for honour paves the way for greatness’.

‘What?!’ I replied.

‘Then let me ask you this! What good is greatness if your-’

‘Enough! That is all I will have, now get up and move your arse!’ The General shouted, taking my hand and fiercely pulling me up. All my lower back and thigh instantly rupture with pain, as if half my body was dug into by axes. All I can do is let out a heavy gasp and clench my teeth as the pain slowly fades.

’I shall return to inform Lord Tachibana. go east and you will find carriages for soldiers that will return you to the barracks. He said, walking away

‘With haste.’ He added, glaring at me before turning and strolling.

I gazed at the fields, the corpses. A month ago, I was living in my dainty, comfortable home, blessed with ignorance, and now here I was, standing on the shoulders of dead men. ‘So this is war’, I thought to myself, gritting my teeth. I thought to myself of what the purpose of these massacres were. Honour? No, because what good is honour if you’re dead?

No more. I took one step west. Memories of my father flashed into my mind: ‘You must do better’, ‘Never run away’. All of his beatings, his lectures, his expectations. And so I couldn’t take another step forward. I turned back and went east with my head down, waiting for the moment I would open my eyes and be back in my futon, sprawling and stretching, the sun shining through the half open window and my sisters opening the door and jumping onto my stomach, almost causing me to vomit. Then I’m taken back to the hellish landscape of now, the last bit of grace fading from my mind.

‘So this is War’ I repeat.