Nigel
A tale about the consequences if you forget a vital requirement in a preparation for a sea cruise.
Nigel was a very careful man. You might even say cautious. Or even paranoid. To be more precise, he was obsessed with the conviction that to stay safe in this world you had to be prepared for anything, no matter how unlikely.
His friends were therefore a bit taken aback when he announced that he was going on a round the world cruise. His decision to take this adventurous step arose from a television series in which a famous presenter had visited different parts of the globe, coupled with a growing anxiety that as the age of 40 approached, he was missing out on life.
The big day drew near, but before it came to pass Nigel by chance came across a broadcast of an old edition of the popular radio programme called ‘Desert Island Discs’.
For those not familiar with this iconic show, it involved asking a celebrity of some sort to imagine being stranded on a desert island, and to choose which records they would like to have with them.
Nigel took this on board in a big way. His desire to cover all possible eventualities took charge.
“You can never tell what might happen, better to be sure than sorry,” he thought. “Suppose the ship sinks for some reason, I mean, unlikely, very unlikely, I know, but not impossible, and I might find myself alone on an island in the middle of an ocean somewhere. Yes, I need to be prepared.”
He then started to make a list of the CDs he would want with him if this fate should befall him. He would of course also need a CD Walkman, and an ample supply of batteries.
“I’d better make sure I buy enough to last a long time, who knows when the next ship might pass near?” he considered. “Oh, I must also get a strong plastic bag to keep everything dry, I suppose I would have to hold it out of the water somehow.”
The cruise was about halfway through its itinerary. Nigel was in his cabin getting ready for lunch, when the ship underwent a violent jolt sending Nigel careering across his cabin. Yes, you’ve guessed it, his fears had proved well-founded.
The vessel had hit something, probably not an iceberg, though, as there was a tropical island with palm trees nearby.
The ship then increasingly adopted a less than horizontal pose in the sea, and Nigel knew that it was planning an unscheduled excursion to explore the ocean depths.
He immediately put his plan into action, hastily loading the plastic bag with his chosen CDs, the CD Walkman, the batteries and of course several pairs of clean underpants. Throwing in a bar of soap and a towel as well, he made it to the deck, and jumped into the (shark-infested) sea, hand holding the bag held high to keep it dry.
It was as he hit the water that he realised that he had not taken account of a rather important requirement fairly essential if you find yourself in this sort of situation.
He couldn’t swim.
Never mind, the sharks would have got him anyway.
