The Usual Exception

~VAMIKA~

The sun has been changing its colors; it was yellow when I came here, and now it is about to turn orange. Even though I have spent the whole day here, I am not really at this place.

“Hey, Vamika?” A voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and I look instinctively towards the person sitting in front of me, Karan.

I sigh. “Sorry, Karan.”

“No, it’s completely alright; it happens sometimes,” he says, his hand finding the cup of coffee as he talks.

He is a very nice person. I have been meeting him for the last few days; it was arranged by our parents, but somehow I just don’t feel a connection with him. Today I came here to discuss exactly that, yet he has managed to make me sit here the whole day.

I take a sip of my coffee; it has gotten cold now. I put the glass on the table and grab the tissue to wipe my hands.

“Karan,” I say, looking up from the tissue in my hands.

Yeah, I should tell him now.

I let out a quiet breath and say, “See, you are a very nice person, but I don’t think I feel a connection with you.” He looks at me, his brows coming together.

“No, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying there is something lacking in you,” I say, trying to make sense of what I am saying.

“Calm down,” he says, reaching for my hand. I look at our hands, and I want to pull mine back, but he is so good that it feels like a crime to turn him down. He continues, “See, Vamika, I know it hasn’t been easy for you—the last year and your surgery—but you have to understand that life is not a fairy tale. You won’t know when you find the right person; you have to believe your instincts.”

“That’s what I am doing, Karan; I am believing my instincts.” He takes his hand off mine as I say this. And then there is silence between us.

I can hear people chattering around us. A waiter passes our table when a child bumps into him, and he is about to fall. My hands fly up in the air like I have some superpowers that are going to stop him from falling—hopefully no one sees my hands go up, so it’s alright.

Karan looks at me after a few seconds. “So, if you have already decided, then there is no reason for us to talk anymore.”

I nod slowly. Karan stands up from his chair and starts walking off. I sit there a little longer and stare at the sun through the window.

The children playing outside, cars honking, birds flying—everything is so normal outside, just as normal as last year. I close my eyes and let out a long sigh.

“Okay.” I press my palm against my eyes and stand up to leave—when the waiter comes. “Ma'am, you have to pay the bill before you go,” he says.

“Oh, okay.” I pull out my credit card from my purse and pay the bill. He should have at least told me that he wasn’t planning to pay his share. I look in the direction he left—I guess he was very hurt.

The waiter hands my card back and smiles at me—I smile back and head out of the restaurant.

Outside, the sun has gone down, and a cold breeze hits my face.

My phone rings; it’s my cab driver. I pick it up and spot my cab a short distance from where I am standing.

I get inside and open the window; it’s just peaceful here—the air, the people, the environment, everything is peaceful. We shifted from Mumbai to Kochi for my surgery—that’s what my parents told me.

I look out, and there it is, the hospital—Vardan Hospital. I still remember how difficult that time was—whenever I pass this way, it triggers that memory. I shift back to my seat.

“Sorry, mam, but can you please close the window?” the driver says, looking at me from the mirror.

“Oh, okay, bhaiya.”

I pull the glass up—and it’s quiet inside the car now, no sound of cars honking or wind blowing—which I don’t like, because this is the best time for me to overthink.

I try to distract myself with my phone, but I have nothing to do; hopefully a call comes—my phone lights up.

Mrs. Malhotra calling

I pick up the phone and put it against my ear. “Hello?” a voice comes from the other side.

“Hello, Mrs. Malhotra,” I say.

“Vamika, thank you so much for giving us the dresses on such short notice. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

“You are welcome, ma'am—this is my job. I hope you liked the designs.”

“Liked? No, Vamika, I loved them.” I smile when she says this.

“And yeah—we are planning to hire you again at our next function too, so be ready, and also, you don’t always have to accept such short deadlines.”

“That’s an honor, ma'am, and about the deadlines—I like taking challenges, ma'am,” I say, grinning.

“Nice, that’s the spirit.”

“Okay then, take care, mam.”

“Okay.” I end the call and put my phone back in my purse.

It’s just so weird—I am good at my job, my life is completely fine, besides having to take meds sometimes because of my surgery. I look out of the window.

Why does it feel like something’s missing? Like I have forgotten a very important part of my life—a thing I can’t name.

I look at my hand—like there should be something in this hand, someone’s hand. I laugh at this thought—I am being ridiculous right now.

Vamika, you are thirty. Why are you acting like a teenager? I put my hands together—and somehow it relieves me, like it’s what I wanted—but I know it isn’t that.

I feel a warmth on my cheek, so I lay my hand over my face.

Again—the tears. I don’t even know why they fall. I wipe them immediately; I am just tired now, very tired.

“Ma'am, we have reached your destination,” the driver says, pulling me out of my thoughts. I look out, and there’s my house—no, actually my parents’ house.

I go inside the house, and I know what’s coming. As soon as I step in, I hear Mumma’s voice. “I don’t get what this girl wants—she rejects a good person, a handsome man. Actually, even if we bring a man from heaven, she will reject him.” She looks at me while saying it and rolls her eyes.

I let out a quiet sigh, put my handbag on the sofa, and sit down.

“Do you have a reason to tell us now why you rejected Karan?” she asks, looking directly into my eyes.

“Mumma, it’s just that I didn’t feel a connection with him,” I say, shrugging.

“Vamika, I asked for a reason, not an excuse.”

“Mumma, it is a reason,” I say, looking at her.

Papa is sitting beside her. Even though he doesn’t say anything, I can feel the disappointment on his face. He takes off his specs and starts wiping the lenses with the edge of his handkerchief.

“I think you have no plans to marry,” Mumma adds, letting out a sarcastic laugh.

“You can say that,” I reply, standing up—when I spot Naveen and Meera coming down from their room. Naveen, my brother, and Meera, his wife. I close my eyes and let out a small breath.

Just as Naveen is about to say something, I point at him.

“No, Naveen, I am already tired. I don’t want to hear another lecture.” And after saying this, I go back to my room.

I can hear them speaking to each other as I walk away. I slam the door, and it hits the wall of my room with a loud sound. I pull the door back, regretting what I just did, and shut it.

“Why, God? Why?” I say, looking at the ceiling. “Did I ask you to do this to me? I never asked for such a life where I have everything but, again, something feels missing. I am just fed up with this missing thing now—I… I just want to live peacefully.”

A tear slides down my cheek—I wipe it off aggressively and let out a sarcastic laugh. “You—you again,” I say, looking at my damp hand.

I sit on the edge of my bed. “Huh… I am just fed up.”

To distract myself, I open up my laptop and search for some new project to do, but a notification pops up—

Life at VELORA is just like heaven; if you have never visited, you are missing so much in your life.

Something about that notification makes me curious, so I just open it, and in the video, I see a beach, markets, people roaming around. “It… it just feels like… cozy.” The sentence leaves my mouth before I can catch it. I look at the screen, surprised, because I have never felt this kind of urge before—and on top of that, when it comes to traveling.

I click another video, then another, and another, and somehow each video makes the urge even stronger.

“Okay,” I say, putting both my hands on my knees. I press my lips together and say, “Hmm… I have decided—I am going to Velora!”