THE COLOURLESS YEARS

Drey was the kind of boy people often misunderstood before they even got the chance to know him.

There was something about his face that made him look unfriendly. Even when he was in a good mood, his expression could make people think he was angry or didn't want anyone around him. He rarely smiled at people he didn't know, and he wasn't the type to walk up to someone and start a conversation.People sometimes mistook his silence for pride.But Drey knew he wasn't proud. He just didn't know how to approach people.He could spend hours thinking about what to say to someone, only to meet the person and say nothing. Sometimes, he wanted to join a conversation but couldn't find the right moment. By the time he had gathered the courage to speak, the conversation had already moved on.So he stayed quiet.It wasn't that he had nothing to say. He simply struggled to bring the words out when he was around people he wasn't comfortable with.At home, however, Drey was different.Around his mother and sisters, he could talk freely. He could laugh, joke, and express himself without worrying about how his words would sound or what people would think of him. Home was one of the few places where he didn't feel the need to prove that he was approachable.Outside, things were different.He could be surrounded by people and still feel alone. He watched others make friends so easily, starting conversations as though they had never known what it meant to feel awkward. They laughed together, teased one another, and seemed to belong wherever they went.Drey often wondered how they did it.Why did something so simple seem so difficult for him?He didn't hate people. In fact, he sometimes wished he could be more like them. He wanted to approach someone without rehearsing the conversation in his head. He wanted to meet new people without worrying about whether they would accept him.But wanting something and knowing how to get it were two different things.At school, though, there was something that made him feel different in a good way.Mathematics.Whenever the teacher asked a question and Drey knew the answer, something inside him changed. The boy who struggled to speak freely around people could suddenly raise his hand. He could stand up, explain his answer, and feel a quiet sense of satisfaction when he got it right.For those few moments, he didn't feel like the boy everyone misunderstood.He felt capable.He felt seen.It was a small victory, perhaps, but it mattered to him. While some students found their confidence in sports, popularity, or the ability to make others laugh, Drey found his in the classroom, particularly when he solved a difficult mathematics problem.He liked the feeling of knowing something and being able to demonstrate it.Yet even that confidence had its limits.Knowing the answer to a question was one thing. Knowing what to say when someone approached him was another. He could explain a mathematical problem to an entire class and still struggle to start a simple conversation with someone his age.It was a contradiction he didn't know how to explain.At home, he also enjoyed playing football in front of the house. It gave him something to do, something to look forward to. For a while, he could forget about the things he struggled with and simply enjoy himself.Life wasn't always difficult. There were ordinary moments of happiness, moments when he could laugh without thinking too much and enjoy the company of people he knew.But as he grew older, he began to realise that the world outside his home was becoming more complicated.People were forming friendships. They were discovering themselves, learning how to relate to one another, and building connections that seemed to come naturally to them.Drey was still trying to understand himself.He wondered whether people would like him if they got to know him. He wondered whether his quietness made him appear boring. He wondered if the expression on his face was enough to discourage someone from approaching him before he had even said a word.Sometimes, he wished someone would make the first move.Someone who wouldn't judge him by his expression. Someone who would start a conversation and give him enough time to become comfortable. Someone who would understand that his silence wasn't rejection.But people couldn't read his mind.They saw what was on his face, not what was happening inside it.And because Drey rarely took the initiative, many people simply kept their distance.He didn't know it then, but this would become one of the patterns of his life: wanting to be understood while struggling to let people get close enough to understand him.For now, he was just a young boy trying to find his place in the world.He had no idea how much his life would change as he grew older. He didn't know that the friendships he would form, the people he would lose, and the disappointments he would experience would eventually challenge the way he saw himself.He didn't know that one day, he would look back at the boy he used to be and wonder how someone who could answer questions in front of a classroom could struggle so much with the simplest things outside it.All he knew was that he wanted to belong.He wanted to be seen for who he really was, not who people assumed he was.And somewhere inside him, beneath the silence and the uncertainty, there was still a small hope that one day, someone would look beyond his face and see the person behind it.Drey didn't know it yet, but his story was only beginning.