Untitled story

Nidhi ki Duniya

Even when my heart is breaking into a thousand pieces, I have to stay strong. My son looks at me for his world, and I cannot afford to shatter in front of him

Hello brothers and sisters, many of you asked me to share my story from the beginning—where I come from and what happened to me. Today, I am here to tell you my truth. Before this, I never knew how to speak in front of all, or what to say. If I make any mistakes, please forgive me. My name is Nidhi Sharma. I got married two and a half years ago, and my husband loved me dearly. When our baby boy was just 45 days old, my husband passed away. It was the day of his 'Kuan Pujan' (a traditional ceremony). Just look at my destiny—the very day we were supposed to celebrate that ritual, my husband left this world. How painful is that for a young girl? In a single moment, all my dreams shattered. Every single dream you see when you get married was destroyed. Today, as I was getting ready to come on YouTube, I looked at myself and wondered—I always lived in my in-laws' house, but today I don't even know who I am. Am I still a daughter-in-law of that house, or have I become a daughter of my parents' home? I honestly don't know what my identity is anymore. But looking at myself today, it felt a little nice, like something meaningful is still left in my life. I am trying to pick up the pieces, day by day. It takes time, but I am gathering courage one day at a time. Today is not like the first day of my grief; time has moved forward. But this pain written in my destiny—I pray to God that no woman ever has to go through this. This pain cuts deep down into your soul. Yet, it was in my destiny to bear this. I have to do something with my life. I cannot let my life go to waste; I have to build a future for my child. For this little boy, I am both his mother and his father. Brothers and sisters, if I make any mistakes, please forgive me.Thank you so much

First Day "Nidhi ki Duniya"

While my little baby is sleeping, I quietly sweep the room so that when he wakes up, I can spend time with him. If he wakes up and sees me cleaning, he starts crying; a small baby just wants his mother sitting right by his side. Later, I neatly fold the blanket that I use to cover Vihan during the day. As I get ready, I dress my son in a diaper and pants because today I have to step out of the house for the first time. I need to go to the market to buy a memory card for my phone so that I can record my vlogs, as many of you encouraged me to start making videos.Stepping out of the house after so long feels so strange. Earlier, whenever I had to go anywhere, my husband would take me, or we would go together. Whenever we went out, my husband would open the door and step out first, and I would follow. Now, there is no one to ask where I am going. My parents know, but it is not the same as before when my husband and I would talk constantly about where we were reaching and how long it would take. Earlier, my husband used to take me everywhere on his motorcycle. Since I don’t know how to drive a scooter properly yet, my father-in-law brought a bicycle for me so I could practice riding on the road and slowly learn how to manage.Riding that bicycle, balancing myself, and going out into the world feels like a completely different reality. Until yesterday, I was playing the role of a wife; today, I don't even know what my identity is. As I went to the market, I saw other women wearing glass bangles, red sindoor, and bindis—happily living as married women with their husbands. It reminded me of my own destiny. In our traditions, when a woman loses her husband, her glass bangles are broken and replaced with brass bangles, marking the end of her identity as a wife. Wearing those brass bangles at the age of 28 feels like a heavy weight on my soul. I remember going to a shop with my brother to buy simple clothes, longing to wear a red or lemon-yellow suit, but realizing I could not wear bright colors anymore because society expects a widow to live in plainness and sorrow.People look at you differently, and even minor things become a struggle. But I look at my son, and I know I cannot break down. For his future, for his upbringing, I have to stand on my own feet. I have to work hard, record my vlogs, and build a secure life for him because I am both his mother and his father. I will cry if I feel broken, but I will keep moving forward. I will not sit idle and waste my life, because my child's entire future depends on me.

2nd Day Every morning, I start my day with a routine of exercise, cleaning my room, and caring for my little son, Vihan. Ever since the tragedy struck my life, exercise has become my greatest healer. I remember reading Dale Carnegie's book, 'How to Stop Worrying and Start Living', which taught me that if you tire your body out with work and physical activity throughout the day, it eventually finds rest, and sleep comes naturally. Before I started exercising, I would stay awake until 4 or 5 in the morning, my mind racing with a hundred thoughts, unable to find peace. Now, dedicating 40 to 50 minutes every day to workouts helps calm my restless mind and keeps my body strong.While cleaning the room and folding the blankets, my mind often wanders back to the harsh realities of society. People judge a young widow for everything—even for smiling, for trying to live, or for eating something of her choice during mourning. They pass cruel comments, forgetting the sleepless nights and the invisible battles fought behind closed doors. When my husband was alive, he loved me dearly and never let me feel any sorrow. Even now, sometimes when I am sitting alone, I catch myself expecting him to walk through the door, half-believing he will return from work.But then I look at my son, and I realize I have to stand tall for him. The love and support I have received from strangers on YouTube—people who don't even know me, yet care for me—give me the strength to keep going. I am learning to pick up the pieces of my life, one day at a time, transforming my pain into the courage to build a secure future for my child."