kill all your friends

I’d known then what I know now I do not think that I would have fallen in love with you. It was a series of unfortunate events: start to finish. I didn’t even have the slightest chance in your grand scheme of things.. You got to pick and chose. I got to do nothing. You were just as controlling and manipulative as you were that night. You got what you wanted did you not? You always got what you wanted no matter the cost. This story is all but one example.

It’s such a shame about what love can really do to a person. It has the opportunity to have you go insane. That’s how I feel now. I didn’t know what to do; I just knew that I needed to stop. Grave after grave. I got tired of burying my friends. You could say that it came back to haunt me. It felt like it did.

It was a cold, wet, and rainy evening in mid-November. There was not a moon nor any stars in the sky. I could hear the thunder clash in the distance - a sure sign that my mind was elsewhere. I was too busy focusing on the anxiety clawing its way up my throat and into my mouth. I hoped that I would not vomit. It was not an evening for a Thanksgiving Bash. Then again, my friends had always strived to be as ironic as possible. They feasted on it for every meal. I never really did get that about them. Now I guess I never will.

We had all sat gathered around the dining room table filling our plates with the copious amounts of food displayed before us. Laughter, chitter chatter, and the clang of metal silverware against platters filled the air of the room. My ears start to ring. To some people, this scene would fill them with joy. Me? It fills me with dread. I couldn’t fathom how people could be happy after what had happened - what I had done -! It was a terrible and miserable circumstance. This is the fifth one of our friend group to go missing!

You give me a look crossways from the table. It sends a paroxysm up my body. Your lips are upturned into an unnoticeable smirk; a smirk that only I know the meaning of. Another one of your friends are to die tonight: die by your hands! I shiver uncontrollably.

The ringing in my ears intensifies. My breathing becomes shallow. I can’t take this! My chair abrades against the hardwood floor. I stand up too quickly. My chair hits the floor with a loud thud! The chatter and heavy noise immediately stop as everyone’s eyes shift in my direction. I dart to the bathroom. I close the bathroom door hurriedly. I lean against it, breathing heavily.

Harsh thoughts enter my brain, swirling around until I feel overwhelmed. I can’t do this! I know I can’t. Then your voice appears in my head, overriding the burden thoughts, “you don’t have a choice now, do you?” “I guess not,” I whisper to myself. I splash cold water on my face and exit the bathroom. I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing, I sigh.

I enter back into the dining room and everyone’s focus is now back on their food. The only one to notice that I had came back was you. You gave me a look that said, “Better now?” Your eyes held a mischievous glint. I swallowed.

I picked at my food. No one seemed to notice. Everyone’s attention was elsewhere. No one questioned our five missing friends - it wasn’t like I hadn’t known what happened to them. I did it. - I guess you can say that it irked me. I wanted people to notice! I wanted people to question! Without these things, it just seems like no one cares.

“I care!” I feel myself wanting to say, “So, why don’t you?” I hold back, though, because I know that if they ask, I will not hold anything back. You would be so disappointed if I said anything, I know you would be, so I refrain.

The thunder claps again. Then the lights go out. I feel a cool gust of wind blow through my hair. Now my senses are on high alert. Lightning strikes! I cry out. In the momentary flash of lightning I saw something that I could not believe. Aaron!

I glanced over at you, fear brimming in my eyes. You gave me a quizzical look. I mouthed his name. You raised your eyebrows. I mouthed his name again. “He’s here.” You look around and shake your head like you didn’t see him.

“He’s there!” I wanted to scream. “He’s right in front of your eyes! Behind you!” It felt like my mouth was full of cotton balls. Aaron can not be here! He’s dead!

I glanced back over to where I had last saw Aaron. I screamed. He was barely a centimeter in front of my face.

“I know what you did to me and what you are planning to do to them!” his usually smooth like honey voice bellowed. Fear spiked into my heart. My heavy breathing intensifies.

“If you kill another person-” his words were cut off because everything turned black.