Failed to Pass

I remember being misunderstood my whole life and speaking to self in order to make a difference in my behavior. Then i realized i wasnt the only person going through isolation we're now in 2022 and 2020 was a horrible year for many. There were so many people that lost so much, something had to change. I would turn on the news and still see such horrible things it would just remind me to think happily.

It would take me back to before things got so tough and I was comfortable going around family and friends not worried. Covid made everyone scared to live, move and enjoy one another. Getting back to joy and happiness became most important. Family is something that yes a word but also a buildable bond that is truly Unbreakable as long as one believes.

Family is a mix of people a person comes to know and belongs to as a group. With such a broad understanding I'd also incorporate friends as family in the culture of showing love. Unfortunately at some point those waters became murky because not all are actually that. There are people that come into one's life for simple reasons and others that are there forever.

Having an understanding of truth and question becomes the most beautiful part of friendship and family. There are people that are never going to "get you" as well as those that you ideally came from. With that clarity it brings a form of peace that is genuinely priceless. There is no greater feeling than accepting another for who they truly are as a person.

We all push to be great and learn different things on our journey through life. So its apparent that we have different paths and pay different prices. Although as humans there is not right or wrong way to get where you feel your destined to be; the only option is persue and keep going. No matter what a person may feel is holding them back its most important to move forward.

Before covid hit the world we were more free living as people, especially me. I would take care of everything I had to do and make time for all the adventures I wanted to partake in. Then came the Cautionary tale of Romeo and Juliet a Covid travesty. Meeting people online Became the way of life although it was still abnormal.

Inviting strangers into your life for a hour, day, month or year became the new culture. Everyone got so wrapped up in progression and were overlooking the dangers rihht in front there eyes. I'm one that definitely was guilty of this truly by accident. I never thought that having a good heart and taking pride in being a good person could nearly take my life.

Although I lost control of who I was I became a greater individual through understanding.

It all started as being grandma's favorite so with that I would experience all the good moments with family and enjoyed every part of it. Until about seven years old i was told I didnt truly belong because my mom was adopted. I was heartbroken but the treatment didnt change a whole lot at that point all the cousins and everyone were great but I started to see disfunction within later on. There would be fights i didn't understand or time when I'd be left out because of placement. I remember having extravagant parties and wonderful celebrations with the family but going home to not so great times.

Everything changed when my siblings dad came into the picture. I was eight opening the door to get a neighbor so we could go to school and there stood this talk black man I didn't know. It was scary but my mom knew him and after introduced he quickly moved in. That brought a drama I wouldn't understand until grown. There were many nights that were unpleasant. I still recall when my mom would cry or scream at him to do better by her or not be in the streets. There were also his family we became close to abandoning her own. It became hard to choose family with things being divided. That division only got worst as time went on.

There were good times but that didn't hold a candle to all that had happened within the family ties. I would go to school with these kids and I was always the outkast, the one that made all my own moves. I didn't listen to authorities because I often was in defensive mode having to tell my side of what happen. I'd always be the giving explanation of value although it was always visible. Happiness is priceless but the things we have come to vaule as people cost alot in some cases eveything.

I've learned is important to pick a side when standing for a cause because no one person can save the world it truly takes everyone to make it a better place. Making change and causing others to do more around them has and will always be a passion. With writing I've found freedom with explanation, ive seen too much as a young person growing up but as a grown women it has made me a great person overall.