Onyx_Quill

Canada 🍁

A full-time daydreamer with an obsession for anything fictional. 📚 (Note: I won't read or review NSFW) ✨Click "Support Me" to check out my co-profile✨

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Amazing

(This review is for the first 20 chapters)
I honestly have so much to say about this book that I don’t know where to begin. So I’ll start by saying this:
This is the best book I’ve read on Inkitt so far. Literally. This is “published novel sitting on a shelf in Barnes and Noble” good. I can 100% see this getting published someday. And honestly, if it was, I’d be the first to buy it.

So without further ado, here are the specifics I wanna cover in this review (prepare for a long dump of notes, haha)

Characters:
They’re each so unique, so well-developed, so conflicted in their own ways. Their different POVs are distinctive, with each character having their own voice and way of thinking. I can tell the author put a ton of thought and effort into this, and trust me, it shows.
Myra, for starters, has this mystery to her that intrigues me. We don’t really know much about her past or who she is, and that’s completely perfect for her. There’ve already been little hints about her backstory, and I have no doubt that the author will dive into this as the story goes on. I have a feeling her cold exterior is hiding something, since she seems to show little hints of vulnerability in certain parts.
Grace is the polar opposite of Myra, which is perfect. A homeschooled girl with barely any experience, thrust into a deadly world on her own, getting tangled into a conspiracy relating to her own father? That’s good. That’s amazing, actually. Her “calm and collected” mantra propels her forward, and I’ve noticed that throughout the story so far, she’s grown into it more; she’s maturing and becoming braver, more level-headed.
Gorgon is absolutely genius, honestly. He humanizes the ‘things’ in a way I’ve never seen other novels do; this must be the first time I’ve seen a point of view from one of the monsters, and it works perfectly. Through his perspective, readers get a better understanding of how the ‘things’ work, what they are, how they think - all from the in-depth point of view of yet another conflicted and well-developed character.

Plot:
The plot of Traitor, on first glance, might seem like it’s been done before; an apocalypse, dangerous creatures, teens trying to survive. But as the story goes on, it develops into mysteries and personal conflicts, backstories and the character’s struggles. Something’s always happening, even if it’s just within the character’s minds (like conflict or growth), keeping readers flying through the chapters. The pacing is well done, meaning the story never drags or feels boring. By chapter 20, things became even more interesting; I can’t wait to see where the plot goes.

Writing style:
The author’s writing style is clean, clear, descriptive, and creative. Action scenes are exciting and tense; thoughts are emotion-driven; descriptions are short and to the point, excellently giving readers a clear picture of the settings without being too lengthy. The author does a wonderful job putting readers in the characters’ shoes with physical descriptions of how they’re feeling. Honestly? It’s perfect.

The worldbuilding:
Instead of hitting the readers with a load of exposition, the author plants explanations of the world, ‘things’, and history throughout the story in a way that’s natural and fun to read.

Things to note:
Like I mentioned in one of my comments, I think the ‘gang’ plot point happens a bit suddenly. Robert disappearing for most of the book, and then suddenly returning between chapters felt jarring to me. However, I think this could be fixed with just one added scene between him and Myra.

There could be a few more descriptions of settings to really put readers into the world. I’d love it if the characters’ surroundings were fleshed out a bit more, to give the world a more distinct tone.

One final thought, while I love the worldbuilding in this story, I have to wonder about the setting. Are cities overrun by ‘things’, making them unlivable (hence why Myra was trying to escape on a bus in the first scene)? Or are there still large communities living despite the ‘things’? I felt this could have been clearer. Then again, it might just be me, so no need to worry. 😊

I know this review was really long, sorry! I had so many things I wanted to mention 😅 I’ll definitely be here for the newest chapters, so keep writing!! You’ve got talent 💪

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A Captivating Quick Read

First of all, I'm in love with the beautiful descriptions in this story. Everything's written so beautifully and poetically - the author definitely has talent in that area. Have you ever tried poetry? I think you'd be great at it!
The story itself is intriguing and manages to pack in a lot of emotion and promising ideas into such a short piece. The world, plot, and characters are teeming with potential. With some development, I could actually see this turning into a great book.
Good work! An enjoyable read.

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The War

In just two chapters, the author has managed to catch my attention completely. I found myself fully invested in the story and characters. The writing is beautiful, emotionally powerful, and flows wonderfully. I especially loved Camilla’s writings – they’re so imaginative and poetic. At times, the transitions between scenes can feel a bit sudden, but that’s honestly the only criticism I have. I can’t wait to see where the story goes.

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Fascinating and Beautifully Written

A wonderful novel for any fan of science fiction. The writing itself is amazing. It’s beautiful, intelligent, and very thorough - especially the character descriptions, which are incredibly detailed and paint a clear image of each character.
The world and atmosphere are amazingly detailed and immersive. I especially liked the technology. Sometimes it felt that large chunks of the universe’s history were being explained through monologue, but it didn’t really distract from the story itself, and was altogether very interesting.
It’s clear that a lot of thought and care went into this. The author has an amazing talent.

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The Arrangement

Looks good so far! I love the entire bright, sort of cheerful feeling this story has (or at least that's what I felt while reading it). The grammar is actually very good - I didn't find any mistakes while reading. The plot itself looks promising. I think that the writing itself could use a bit more expansion, especially with emotions and setting, but otherwise, there's not much else to suggest. Keep up the good work!

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Gangsta

This looks promising! The plot and overall idea are unique and fresh. Ruby, the protagonist, is full of personality - same with the side characters. I'm very interested to see how the plot plays out.
As far as critique and suggestions go, I would have liked the characters and plot to have been introduced a bit more naturally. Maybe try to use the "show, don't tell" method? Also, it would have been interesting to learn about the world this story takes place in - however, with it being so early in the story, this issue will probably fix itself as the plot goes on..
Lots of potential! I'm very curious to see what happens next.

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The Book of Trials

A wonderfully written book, with a thrilling plot and a great protagonist. The writing is amazing, giving readers a clear image of the settings and characters. I personally loved the protagonist, Veia - she's relatable, full of personality, and carries a sense of depth that grabbed my attention from chapter one. I really enjoyed this, and can’t wait to see more from this author!

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Suspenseful and Intriguing

I really enjoyed this! The sense of suspense and mystery kept me hooked with every new story. As far as critique goes, I noticed a few grammar mistakes, and thought that writing could be a bit more fleshed out. Some of the scenes and explanations felt a bit vague, but that also added a sense of mystery to them, so it's perfectly fine. All in all, some really great short stories, filled with horror and suspense.

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The Shadow Men

“The Shadow Men” is a suspenseful but surprisingly heartfelt story that left me wanting more. The central idea is unique and has loads of potential (it’s the sort of thing I love); the mystery behind it all propels the plot forward with every chapter. The plot, as well as the writing in general, felt professional, almost like a published novel.
The main character, El, and her love interest, Dillon, are both amazing characters who I felt connected to. El’s character voice was developed and entertaining, while still being realistic – and I really related to her self-doubt when it came to her relationship with Dillon. The dialogue between those two is probably my favorite part of the story. It’s quippy, well-paced, and entertaining, but gets surprisingly heartfelt when the time is right. I love their relationship and romance, although I feel their past together could have been a bit more developed. The romance takes the front seat as the story progresses – sometimes it feels that it overshadows the main plot, but this isn’t much of a problem, since their relationship is well written and enjoyable. Honestly, I think this could be fixed by changing the sub-genre of the story to “Romance”.
I’d recommend this for anyone who enjoys a good mystery-thriller with romantic elements. Definitely worth a read!

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Perfect Illusion

First off, I just wanna say that I love how unique this story is from other Inkitt books. It has a really defined voice and general vibe that bursts with character. I can see the author's personality through the writing, the style, the character voices - that made it easy to connect to the story and overall really fun to read.
What mainly stood out to me was the dialog and how realistic it felt. The characters talked like actual people. I found them all really fun and likeable, but I did have a hard time telling them apart sometimes. The little hints of future drama make me really curious about what's gonna happen down the line (like Amber's bruise). I do feel that their POVs get mixed up sometimes though (so easy to do in third person POV, I know). Are you going for a multi-protagonist sort of thing, or just one POV character?
Another thing I liked was the descriptions - they felt really fluid and the little pop culture references were super fun. I'd suggest cutting back on the physical descriptions of the characters, though, maybe integrating them in the narrative and spreading them out more. This would make them more dynamic and help readers remember them more. :)
Really good work overall! I'd be interested in seeing how the plot develops.

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Spirit of Fire

This story is absolutely flowing with creativity and potential! It seriously feels like a published novel you’d find at the bookstore.
It’s unique from the typical elemental tropes, giving readers a rich and new world to explore with relatable, likeable characters, and natural worldbuilding. The descriptions of the settings made them feel real, but at the same time, foreign and intriguing. While reading, I kept wanting to know more about the universe and the world the characters live in.
I think this story’s biggest strength is its plot; it’s intriguing and fresh, taking a used idea (elementals in general) and turning it into something new. The pacing was on point - the plot moved quickly and progressed with every chapter, never lagging, but always giving readers enough time to soak in all the new developments. Pacing is such a difficult thing to nail down, and I think the author did it wonderfully.
The only suggestions I have are more technical. A lot of paragraphs are broken up into little bits and pieces, with a character’s action and dialogue being split up, like this, for example:
‘ “I roll my eyes and smirk before answering.
“Luna wants to have a meeting later tonight . . .” ‘
Combining actions and dialogue might make the chapters flow a bit better. This is just a suggestion, though – more like something to watch out for in the future (I know it would be painstaking to go through the whole story to change it).
Another thing I noticed, if you want recommendations, is that there seem to be a lot of thought-dumps sprinkled through the story. Spreading these out in a more show-don’t-tell fashion could be a good idea – however, I recognize that these frantic, long thought processes are one of Saffire’s traits (they really attribute to her anxiety and doubt). So again, this is completely your call. :)
All in all, a wonderful story! I plan to re-read it when I get the chance. ✨

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Darker and Twisted Poetry

True to its name, this collection of poems is dark, serious, and deals with topics I’m sure a lot of us can relate to. I really appreciate how honest the poems are, even if they’re bleaker and not as happy-go-lucky as a lot of poetry tends to be. It makes them relatable and honestly really gut-punching. After all, the writing we connect to the most is the stuff we can relate to – and which ones of us haven’t felt this way at some point?
From a poetic standpoint, I really like your prose. You have a solid voice and rhythm; nothing ever felt out of place and flowed naturally.
You might want to skim through and look for grammar issues throughout, but other than that, I have no suggestions. Great work!

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Poetic and Colorful

This is such a lovely, sweet book. The setting, descriptions, characters – they’re all beautifully done. I love the atmosphere and general feel of the book. It’s so colorful, artistic, and comfortable. Little details like the quotes and the beginning of chapters and the bits of different languages spread throughout really brought the story to life and gave it character.
The writing itself is very well done – you’re an amazing poet – although I felt that the dialogue in the first few chapters was a bit rocky. Sometimes the comedy didn't blend too well with the drama, which is completely understandable - comedy is one of the hardest things to write! I noticed that it improved as the story went on, though, which is great. :)
The characters are all unique and compelling. They’re each struggling with their inner demons, trying to overcome them and live their lives. Hazel is particularly interesting. I feel that she’s hiding her insecurities and pain beneath her loud personality. I love the parallels between her and Sasha, how they’re both hiding their “true colors”. I can’t wait for them to reveal their secrets and let their budding romance take full wing.
My only notable 'critique' is that the story’s pacing is a bit slow, especially in the beginning. But I’m someone who usually reads fast-pace, action-packed stories, so that could just be my personal preferences talking. 😅
Can't wait to see where you take the story!
Cheers~

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Got me hooked

I couldn't put this down. Usually, I take a few days to read through an Inkitt book, but I got through this one in less than 24 hours - you got me hooked. This book is a twist of spine-tingling horror and chilling thriller.
For one, I love the suspense. The question of 'what happens next?' kept me going until the last chapter. The pacing in the tense scenes is especially good - specifically in the first chapter. The writing itself is solid, aside from a few typos.
I liked Jaelynn as a protagonist. She has a good, distinct personality. I would have liked to know more about her, though. This is a novella, so obviously the characters won't be as developed, but I think knowing more about her life before the story would give readers a stronger connection to her. I also felt that her brainwashing happened a bit quickly for my tastes. Same with the ending - the final scene seemed to come and go a bit suddenly.
Nevertheless, I seriously enjoyed this. I'd love to see a sequel or prequel - and if not, more stories from this author. Keep writing!

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Rose

The tension in this book is perfect! From the first chapter, it had me on the edge of my seat. The setting is eerie and has just the right amount of creepiness to keep me interested, without being too over the top. As for the plot, it's slow-burning and builds carefully, creating tension throughout the story. Perfect!

The writing itself was descriptive and flowed well. I loved the bits of humor sprinkled throughout, which made the protagonist relatable and likable to read about. There were, however, several typos (more so in some chapters than others). Most of the time they didn't distract from the story, though. Still, you might want to skim through and see if you can fix any. :)

All in all a solid book! Keep up the great work.

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Fantastic

Hands down one of the best books I've read on this site. The plot is gripping and builds slowly, drawing you in from the first scene. There are no exposition dumps or forced descriptions - the author world-builds naturally and seamlessly, letting the reader experience the story's universe, rules, and technology as the characters do. The descriptions and details are perfectly balanced. I love the characters, too; the protagonist, Amelia, has such a distinct voice and personality that makes her point of view engaging and entertaining to read.
Definitely my new favorite book on Inkitt. I would highly recommend reading it!

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Amazing Start!

This book immediately grabbed my attention. The descriptive writing, realistic dialogue, and breathless action scenes are entertaining and gripping. The feeling that none of Sylvia’s companions can be trusted creates a constant feeling of tension that makes me want to keep reading (I personally love that sort of thing in a book). From what I’ve seen of the setting so far, this book’s world looks like it will be unique, colorful, and exciting – I’m interesting in exploring it more as the story progresses.
My only suggestion right now would be to consider starting the story a bit earlier. I felt that things might have felt a bit more complete if there had been more time spent introducing the characters and the situation before the action started. This is just a suggestion, though – the story won’t suffer if you choose to keep like it is. :)
Awesome work! I’m can’t wait to see what happens next.

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Intriguing

I'm blown away by how beautiful and eloquent the writing in this story its. It reads almost like poetry, and is both beautiful and chilling. What makes this particular story stand out is that there isn't an obvious, physical "plot". Instead, the story reads more along the lines of a stream of consciousness, guiding the reader through the narrative. Truly unique - great work.

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Ethereal and Captivating

"Is Anybody Out There?" provides readers with an emotional, wonderfully-written story that's short and to the point. The writing presents the emotion in such a raw and clear way, that it's impossible not to get invested in the story. The sensation of complete loneliness was brilliantly demonstrated; throughout the entire story, I could feel the sensation of solitude growing, along with the character's despair.
Overall, a skillfully written and thought-provoking story. I'd definitely recommend checking it out!

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Simply Amazing

I’m being completely honest when I say that this is one of the best books that I’ve read on Inkitt so far. I don’t usually read zombie-related stories, but “The Last of 2100” is just so unique from other books of this genre. Instead of going for the usual post-apocalyptic vibe, these first few chapters have taken on a sci-fi-like setting that's original and unique – I love it!
The writing style is simply amazing; I found myself completely absorbed in the story, settings, and plot. The voice of the two characters who’ve been introduced so far are distinct and clear. I could practically feel their emotions as I read.
At the moment, I have no suggestions, except that I agree with what Thorns_or_Roses mentioned about the character introductions in the beginning. Other than that, just continue what you’re doing – it’s perfect.

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Blinding Light

Mysterious and exciting! It kept me guessing with every chapter – every time I thought I had something figured out, something else is thrown at me that made me question everything. I loved the time jumps, especially when the story switched from the mysterious and seemingly peaceful setting, to the bloody and tense “present time” setting. There are a few grammar errors scattered throughout the book, and some of the sentences could use a bit of work, but I know that the book is currently under editing, so I’m sure they’ll get fixed with time. :)

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Regrets

Great start! Right from the beginning, I could really hear the character's voice and see their personality. There’s some great groundwork for future chapters, and the writing is full of emotion. Maybe add some more details, though, especially in the flashbacks. Some of the scenes so far seem to move very quickly.
Nevertheless, the majority of the story so far – the thoughts – show more than enough potential. I’d definitely be interested in seeing what happens next!

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Captivating

I love the slow-building plot and mystery in this novel. The plot is intriguing and very unique. The characters are all relatable, with distinct, likeable personalities. I love how the plot slowly builds, dropping hints of what’s to come and creating a sense of suspense as the book goes on. As for the writing itself, it was very detailed and clear.
As for suggestions, I felt that it might be a good idea to use the "show, don't tell" method for some of the backstory, settings, and details (mainly in the first portion of the novel). I also felt that there could have been a bit more emotion in the narrative. Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading this! I'm curious to see what happens next.

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Girl In Pain

I love the raw emotion in this book. The plot and the characters are believable, with a great sense of conflict to them all (especially the protagonist). I personally love the author's writing style; it's beautiful and descriptive, reading almost like poetry. The entire story is full of emotion, and the mystery surrounding the protagonist's past is very compelling.
Definitely worth a read!

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Gripping!

This book had me at the edge of my seat. It was thrilling and mysterious, giving readers little pieces of information and slowly drawing them in. I was hooked from the first sentence. At this point, I think the only issue is the grammar and frequent typos, which sort of distracted from the story. However, the writing itself was very good, and the book as a whole was fascinating and exciting.
Keep up the good work!

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Very promising!

So far, this book is great. I particularly like the struggles of the individual characters. The entire cast, including side characters, are filled with personality and charm. I also love how the plot slowly unfolds with an overall sense of mystery.

It seemed to me that the main characters often acted a bit too mature for their ages - maybe you could make them a tad older? It's not a huge issue, just something I noticed.

Just a quick suggestion: You might want to put a trigger/content warning in your summary, regarding the events of chapter 4 - some people might find that kind of thing upsetting.

Great work! I'm excited to see what comes next.

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A Tense and Exciting Short Story

This is an amazing short story, Tension is held until the final sentence as readers slowly learn the plot. The author gave enough information to guide readers in the right direction while leaving some things to the imagination. I’m amazed at how there managed to be actual character development in such a short piece. The woman's inner turmoil about her actions is particularly well done.

All in all, this is a great story with amazing writing, intriguing characters, and a gasp-worthy ending.

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