Behind Purple Eyes

Woken by his own screams, Theo bolted upright in bed, drenched in cold sweat that he could still feel trickling down his neck and back. His heart pounded rapidly, hammering away painfully in his chest to the extent that something as simple as catching his breath had become a challenge, and his mouth was dry. Despite the water he had downed about half an hour before sleeping, it was as though he hadn’t drank anything for a week, and when he swallowed, he winced at the pain. It felt like knives slowly being dragged down his throat. Theo fought the urge to do it again and slumped his shoulders with a sigh. A brief glance at the digital clock on the nightstand told him that it wasn’t quite three in the morning, meaning he had slept for only two hours. It didn’t bother him too much. He never had more than three hours of sleep a night, not since he was too young to remember.

Every night, without fail, his slumber was plagued by the same nightmare on repeat; flashes of red and blue accompanied by the eerie wail of distant sirens, himself and his aunt hanging upside-down on the side of the road in her old SUV, all the blood and broken glass, and his younger self screaming her name, crying for her to wake up and pleading to go home. At least, he wished it was just a nightmare.

Theo shook his head. He couldn’t let himself think about that. In his waking hours, he never did. After several deep breaths, he’d managed to calm his heart enough to move and threw back the covers, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Though the room was still steeped in lonesome darkness, he could just about see the figure of his roommate sitting on the bed parallel to his own, with his back against the wall, glaring at him. Great.

“Off to cry to mommy, are you?” Jeremiah teased. “Oh wait, you can’t.”

The boy couldn’t see it in the dark, but Theo rolled his eyes. He was used to Jeremiah’s mean-spirited remarks by now. They had been roommates for two whole years after all. It only bothered him sometimes because deep down he knew that it was the result of Jeremiah feeling the need to show off and to prove he had the better life. In some ways, Theo guessed he did. On the outside, it seemed easy when it was daddy’s money that paid for those top marks and prevented you from being thrown out of school, and when you made friends just by entering a room. But there was more to it than that. What Jeremiah would never let people see was the way his father would remind him constantly how much of a disappointment he was compared to his brother, Alastair, who was well on his way to owning the family business.

Theo thought himself lucky in that sense. He had no pressure from anyone. His aunt was dead some twelve years and his parents he knew very little about, other than the fact they hadn’t wanted him. So, he didn’t blame Jeremiah for using him as his punching bag, both verbally and physically. Out of all the kids in their year group, he was the easiest target because he never fought back and no one would jump to his defense because they all thought he was a freak too. That was the problem when you were the only one in the entire school with purple eyes. Everyone knew it wasn’t normal and there was no way of hiding it. He had tried contacts, but by then the majority of classmates had already seen his natural colour. The only options left were to ignore the teasing or to unleash the fury he had been burying and get expelled for unacceptable behaviour, and doing that would render him homeless. Outside of King’s Cross Academy, he had nothing else; no family, no home. Not even a friend. Staying in a place where the welcome was cold was better than having nowhere to go. At least, that’s what he told himself.

He had to. If he didn’t then he’d have to face the reality that his life was empty, and he wasn’t ready for that yet. As long as he had school work, and his hidden sketchbook, Theo could keep pretending that his existence meant something.

“Terribly sorry that I woke you, I guess we’re even now since your snoring kept me awake the other night.” He bit back, wishing he could watch the other boy’s face redden.

“Watch it, freak, or you’ll be eating dirt for breakfast!” Jeremiah squeaked.

“And would that be regular dirt or the gourmet dirt you eat every time you get thrown down during Lacrosse?”

Theo bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, grateful that the gleam in his eyes could not be seen in the dark, and stood up. With a skyward stretch, he heard the satisfying pop as his back cracked into place, and crept quietly across the room. A sigh of relief breezed through his parted lips when he closed the door behind him, glad to be out of the room for a moment. He was in desperate need of water, giving him the perfect excuse to be out in the common room at such an hour if he were to be caught by Mr Jenks, the house master or Mrs Henry, the house mother.

As luck would have it, he made it all the way to the kitchen without being seen by either of them. He even expected one of them to come out as he flicked on the light, but it seemed they were both fast asleep in their rooms upstairs. Though he still wouldn’t chance hanging around too long, because Mr Jenks had the ears of a cat. Even the slightest of noises had him out of bed. With that thought, Theo tiptoed across to the counter and reached up into the cupboard above him, pulling out a glass and then taking it over to the sink to fill it with water.

He chugged the entire thing within seconds, ridding his mouth of the dryness and leaving only a minor scratchy feeling in the back of his throat. It still didn’t quite quench his thirst, however, and he refilled the glass, this time downing only half of the water and turning to head back to his room. He took only a step before he was stopped in his tracks, with his mouth hung open, eyes wide, and the glass threatening to slip from his hands as he saw that he wasn’t alone.

In the doorway to the kitchen stood a girl he did not recognize. Theo knew for a fact that he hadn’t seen her before, because she stood out from all the other girls there. She didn’t stand confidently, her skirt just about reached her knees, and the makeup on her face was light enough that he had to squint to notice it beneath the oversized glasses balancing on her cheekbones. Unlike them, she didn’t look like she was dressed to impress. He hadn’t realized that he’d been staring until he noticed the pink starting to flush her cheeks and her embarrassed smile as her eyes drifted to the floor. Theo mentally kicked himself, hoping that his own embarrassment was not as visible as hers.

“Umm… Sorry?” The girl apologized, and her eyes flickered briefly to him before settling back on the floor. “I came to get some water, I- I didn’t think there’d be anyone down here.”

“Yeah…” He started, blinking to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. “Me too.”

Theo couldn’t shake off the shock. She had spoken to him. Not only that, there was no malice in her voice and she hadn’t gagged or ran away at the mere sight of him. That was a first. Everyone, but girls in particular, always made retching noises when they weren’t busy avoiding him altogether. Water, he reminded himself. She had wanted some water, and that was the only reason she hadn’t fled upon seeing him.

“I um… I didn’t want to disturb you, so I thought I’d wait until you were done. I wasn’t trying to be creepy or anything, I swear.” She rambled, her voice almost too low to hear.

A mouse, he thought. The way she seemed to huddle against the doorframe in a shy manner and the softness in her voice reminded him of a mouse. Biting back a smile, Theo set his own glass down on the counter and reached for another, filling it up and offering it out to her. She scurried across the floor, further adding to his thoughts of a mouse, taking the water from him with the faintest traces of a smile gracing her lips.

“Um, thanks.” She muttered.

“Yes.” He said, then cringed at himself. “I mean you’re welcome, Squeak.”

At this, the girl laughed before bringing the glass up to her lips and sipping the water. Theo had to turn his head to hide his smile. He could feel her eyes still upon him even though he kept his own down on his shoes. It appeared her shyness was contagious. With all the bullies, he was able to think of a witty comeback or keep his cool, but with this girl who had been the first to show him any shred of kindness in years, it was as though every word in his vocabulary had put on their shoes and marched right out of his brain.

“I um… I should get back to bed.” She said, curling a strand of her red hair around her finger.

“Yeah, me too.” He muttered absently. “Wait, I don’t recall seeing you here before. Are you new?” He asked, biting the bullet.

“Oh, y- you noticed.” She said, and her smile wavered for a split second. “Yes, I’m new. My um… it’s kinda embarrassing, my dad is the… he’s Mr Juh- Jenks.”

‘Mr Jenks has a daughter?’ Theo had many questions, but swallowed them back. This girl was the first person not to call him a freak or to tease him about his eyes and he didn’t want to ruin that by intimidating her with an interrogation.

“Don’t worry, secret’s safe with me, Squeak.” He assured her, at last bringing himself to look at her again.

The girl’s brown eyes lit up at his promise. “Oh, well um… thanks.” She beamed. “What’s your name?”

“My name?” He questioned, pretty sure his face was as red as the tomatoes Mrs Henry served in the salads she prepared for Tuesday’s dinner. “It’s my name… Uh, I mean my name? It’s Theo.” He answered, clearing his throat. “And yours?

“Well, Theo, you don’t seem terrible, which I like. As for me, my name’s Quinn.”

Quinn. A name that sounded as pleasant as the birds that chirped away in the mornings. Theo brushed the thought aside. He didn’t want to further embarrass himself by accidentally saying such a thing out loud. It was getting harder by the second to contain his smile.

“And that would make you the first person to say that to me, Squeak.” He said, sipping his own water to stop the grin that now threatened his face.

“Really?” She questioned, her eyes wide like a deer’s. “It isn’t too polite to tell you the opposite. That would be an awful first impression to make as the new kid around here actually.”

Theo opened his mouth to respond, freezing when the sound of a door upstairs slamming echoed through the house, followed by the creaking floorboards of the hallway above. Footsteps too heavy to be Mrs Henry’s created dull thuds that gradually got louder as the person descended the staircase. There was only one person with those distinct, evenly timed footfalls; Mr Jenks.

“Uh oh, um… Would you mind sneaking back to your room? I just erh… um… I don’t want my dad to come down, see me talking to a boy and get the wrong impression. I’m really sorry. It was kinda nice to almost make a friend…”

“Way ahead of you.” He chuckled. “It was nice to meet you, Squeak.”

With a little nod, Theo set his glass down on the counter, turned and hurried out of the kitchen and down the hall, back into his room before Mr Jenks had even reached the bottom step. Thankfully, sometime during his water run, Jeremiah had dozed off, leaving anymore teasing he had planned for the morning. Eventually he managed to drop off himself too, thoughts about his late night conversation with Quinn carrying him off on a fluffy cloud to the land of nod.

For the first time in his entire life, Theo didn’t dread the day before it had begun. When his alarm went off at eight o’clock sharp, he got out of bed, freshened up, put on his white school blazer, black trousers and black jacket with the King’s Cross Academy shield cress, combed through his messy black hair and headed for the common room with a bounce in his step that had never been there before. He had no one to share his glee with, but it was all because of her. Quinn. The thought of finally having a friend, someone to joke and laugh with, to cry with when things got tough, and just to talk to, after all the years of loneliness made him smile ear to ear. He didn’t think there was anything that could ruin his good mood that morning. Until he made it to the dining table that was.

It didn’t take long. As soon as he pulled out his chair and sat down, the whispering had started. Jeremiah sat at the other end of the table, sniggering with his two best friends, Kenny and Kyle, a pair of identical twins with little difference in personality. Teachers often found it hard to tell them apart, with the only visible difference being a faded scar above Kenny’s left eyebrow. Within seconds, everyone at the table was unsubtly laughing, pointing and looking at him. Except Quinn. She wasn’t there. Only an empty seat that waited for her to fill it. Theo’s dismay sank heavy into his heart. All hopes that the day would not be like every other draining completely as his eyes drifted around his classmates.

“Hey, Mrs Henry? You’d best put a towel down on that chair before Theo sits in it, else it might end up as wet as his bed.” Jeremiah exclaimed loudly, and everyone laughed louder.

The sweat from his nightmare, Theo realized with a groan, must have dripped enough to create a patch on the bed sheet that Jeremiah must have seen while he’d been out of the room. It didn’t matter that sweat was all it was, none of them would believe him if he tried to explain it. They’d laugh him out of the room. He suddenly found himself without an appetite for breakfast.

“What? You mean he wets the bed?” Kenny chimed in.

“It’s true!” Jeremiah insisted. “I saw it last night with my own two eyes after he woke me up screaming like a little girl.”

Nothing they said meant anything to him. It was all just words. They couldn’t hurt him. He wouldn’t allow it. Mrs Henry would give them a good telling off too, he was sure of it.

“Oh my, is that true, Theo?” Mrs Henry, a lady on the slightly larger side, with dark brown hair, a face with little chin hairs, wearing a flowery long-sleeved button up shirt, a pair of black trousers, and a pinny, asked. “If it is, I shall have to book you a medical exam with the school’s nurse, to rule out any… underlying issues, you understand?”

“Wha-” He started, desperate to find the words to defend himself. “No! I- It was sweat, not… I didn’t wet the bed.”

It took only those five words to send the rest of the table into roaring fits of laughter, so loud he could no longer think clearly. Theo tilted his head down, a deep scowl taking over his features and wrinkling his forehead as he glared at Jeremiah. Rage burned inside him stronger than he’d allowed himself to feel in a while, and that’s when it happened. The boy was swinging on his chair, his hands tucked behind his head, pressing into his greasy blonde hair, and without warning, it tipped all the way back. Jeremiah fell to the floor with a crash, his feet peeking up from the table, and smacked his head on the hard wooden floor as he went.

“Dear Lord, are you alright Jeremiah?” Mrs Henry asked as she gasped, setting down her fresh out the oven bakes and rushing around to help him up.

“No. I am not alright! Get me up off this floor and get me some ice for my head!” Jeremiah cried out in anger. “Ow. Ow. Oh, Mrs Henry, I don’t think I can go to school today. Ugh, I feel sick.”

Theo’s scowl disappeared, realizing what he had done. In true Jeremiah fashion, he was putting on most of the pain he felt in the hopes that he would get to miss classes and spend the time watching TV instead, but that didn’t make it any less terrible. There were many ways that the accident could have been a lot worse and now he had that on his conscience.

“It was Theo, Mrs Henry!” Kyle called out, pointing an accusing finger right at him.

“Ah, come on, let’s not play the blame game.” Their house mother scolded.

What she said didn’t matter. A single look around the table told Theo that everyone had already pinned the blame on him. He’d been so full of rage that he hadn’t noticed the rapid breaths he’d been taking, or the hammering of his heart, filled with anxiety over wondering what Jeremiah and his goones would come up with to get back at him. He had only one move left; leave the room as fast as he could. Theo acted instantly, whirling around and making a run for the door. With the tears that blurred his vision, he failed to see Quinn walking through the hall into the common room and crashed into her, sending them both tumbling head over heels to the floor.

As he regained focus, shaking his head to rid himself of the dizziness, he looked up and saw Quinn pulling herself into a sitting position as she rubbed her forehead. Through his clumsiness, he had hurt her.

“I- I’m sorry, Squeak.” He stammered, scrambling to his feet and running for his room without giving her the chance to respond.

Theo slammed the door behind him as he made it there and threw his hands up into his hair, pulling at the roots. When that got too painful, he let go and instead beat the wall with his fists until his wrists started to ache. Then he threw himself down onto the bed, burying his face in his pillow and screaming into it until his voice cracked and he broke into sobs. He had thought it would be easy to ignore, with the good spirits he had woken up in, but it wasn’t. Feeling good only made the fall from cloud nine even harder, and Theo sure had hit the cold, hard concrete. What little taste he’d gotten of how it felt not to be treated like a freak had been washed away and replaced with the bitter taste of resentment. He hated it; everyone and everything there with a burning passion. Most of all he hated his parents for being the reason he was left at the Academy, forgotten and unwanted. All he had ever longed for was to be left alone. If his peers couldn’t accept him, that was fine, but it was the cruelty in their teasing that made him want to run away.

Time stood still as he laid face down on the bed, his shoulders shaking violently and the tears soaking through onto his pillow. He didn’t care how long he stayed there, if he was late for class it was no big deal. No one would miss him. Through his muffled cries, he almost didn’t hear the dull tap at the door, catching only when it happened a second time.

Theo pulled himself up, blinking away the remaining tears and stealing a glance at his reflection in the mirror that Jeremiah kept on the wall. His face was bright red and soaked, his eyes puffy and his hair ruffled atop his head, he couldn’t let anyone see that anything was wrong. They’d only use it as a way of teasing him later on. In a hurry, he combed through his hair with his fingers and wiped his cheeks dry with the back of his hand just in time as the knob rattled and the door swung open. Theo’s eyes widened.

Of all the people who could have been knocking; Jeremiah (though he would have just barged in), Mrs Henry with the intent of having words about retaliation, or Mr Jenks there to tell him to pack up and leave, the last person he had expected was Quinn. Yet there she stood, several strands of Auburn hair having fallen into her face, juggling two bagels, two bananas, two oranges, two small cartons of apple juice, and one carton of orange, barely able to keep it all from spilling out of her hands.

“Squeak?” He questioned, his mouth hung open in disbelief.

“Um, I’m sorry for barging in but I um… I didn’t see you at the table for breakfast, and you know what they say about it being the most important meal of the day, so I thought I’d bring it to you.” She rambled, flashing a helpless smile.

“That’s…” Theo started, at a loss for words. “No one’s ever done that for me before, that’s really nice of you.” He said, and despite everything, smiled back at her.

“Oh, but I wasn’t sure if you like oranges or bananas, and orange juice or apple, so I got both… Am I disturbing you? I didn’t even think that you might not want company or anything. Gosh, how rude of me.”

“No, no!” He insisted, waving his hands to dismiss her concerns. “Actually, it… it’s nice to know that someone thought of me.” He added, biting his lip to stop himself from saying anymore on the matter. “And because you were wondering, I like both but bananas a little more than oranges, and apple juice will always be my go to.”

“Then it looks like I made a good guess.” She beamed. “Here…”

Theo hesitated a second and then got up, taking his half of the food from her and laying it down on the bed. He wasn’t particularly hungry after Jeremiah’s latest stunt, but with the effort Quinn had made, it would have been rude of him to turn her away, and with that thought, he picked up the bagel and brought it to his lips. He paused again before he could bite into it, looking up at the girl still standing by the door.

“Um, so I should leave you to eat and-”

“Aw, really?” He cut in. “I was thinking that we could… eat together?”

“You- You did?” She questioned, her brown eyes widening when she smiled. “Well, I was going to ask if you’d like to walk across to school with me too, but I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I’d like that a lot, Squeak.”

“Oh, it’s okay. You don’t have to pretend that you want to. I’ll understand if you don’t.”

“I’m not. I mean it. I’d like to walk across campus with you.” He assured her, and patted the empty space on the bed next to him. “First we should finish breakfast.”

Quinn looked uncertain at first, and for a split second, Theo began to regret his responses, worrying that he had been too eager to form a friendship or it actually did sound like he was only saying those things to be nice, but then her beaming smile returned and she sat down beside him with her own food. The torment of the morning all but completely forgotten, Theo bit into his bagel, once again excited to see what the day would bring.