Unspoken Trauma

"Mrs.Oshima! Please please pick me up!", a chubby red cheeked boy grinned. His small arms sticking out at me.

"Okay only one last time because you're about to go home", I giggle picking him up slowly then spinning him in circles as we laughed.

Little Jihan was always the last one to get picked up , his mother battled with her drinking problems while his father was no where to be found. He was the sweetest little boy but his life was damned just as much as mine.

"Finally mommies here! See you monday Mrs.Oshima!", he waved giggling quickly hopping into the old beatdown ford car.

I waved back smiling not knowing it would be the last time I would ever wave at him.

-The night that followed-

I walked into my house everything was quiet as a mouse sweat dripped down my clear face, I could hear the tv up really loud. The rain startled me pouring down like a live band.

"Finally your home", a gruff voice beckoned to me.

It was my husband , we had been together six years now. He was ten years older than me handsome as could be, brown hair , dark blue eyes. He had muscles on him and also practiced boxing, he was caring in the beginning we lived fairly modern. Even though he brung home the money & sex he was abusive as all hell.

First it started verbally.

"I had to make sure tha-

He rose out his chair walking up to me, "You had to make sure Jihan got home safely right?", he scoffed.

My heart raced liked a mustangs engine.

"They're my students I take care of them", I spoke up looking into his cold hallow blue eyes.

"You work from start to finish, afterhours shouldn't exists for them you need to be home by five I won't say it again", he sternly spoke then walked back.

My body was almost shaking I thought things were getting better, why was he being so mean all the time to me.

"I'm hungry too", he said almost annoyed.

"I had turned the roast on before I left for work it should be done now, I'll get it ready for you", I expelled in a huff.

"What was that?", he almost chuckled.

"What was what...", I sighed.

"That... are you huffing about making me food?", He asked looking in my direction.

"Not at all i'm just tired", I said calmly.

"Oh okay well I'll fix that tomorrow for you", he said laughing.

I continued forward scared of his foreshadowing sentence, "fix it tomorrow?". The sentence rang in my head again and again trying to solve what IT was.

We ate dinner everything tasted wonderful and he finally fell asleep for the night. I decided to go take a walk in the backyard , we had a lovely garden area past our patio.

I looked at the moon it was so bright it felt like it gave me a healing touch. Suddenly I heard a loud slam. My head darted three houses down , someone was moving things into their backyard as well as building add-ons.

"A new neighbor?", my head processed as the old lady who used to stay there... began moving away with her family's car. The price was far too high for her anyways.

"What the hell are you doing out here at this time of night", Kaza yelled at me.

"I just needed air to think I didn't go anywhere", I admitted.

"Come to bed I miss you", he said looking damn near serious this time.

I walked towards him he put his firm grip on me almost pulling me.

"Take everything off too", he whispered in command barely letting me go.

I did as he said , his eyes studied my every movement. "Fuck, take it off slower", he asked pulling up a chair quickly unzipping his pants.

"Kazakura?", I asked.

"Shhh I want to enjoy this moment", he smiled unbuttoning his shirt.

I nodded walking over to him completely naked now. I got down on my knees crawling the rest of the way.

"That's my good girl", he grinned slapping my ass then pulling me up to his lips.

He had been stroking his dick the entire time.We kissed for a while then he roughly fucked me and we fell asleep quickly.

- The following morning-

I woke up early quickly leaving early so I could see my students.

"Goodmorning Ms.Oshima!", every student yelled except for Jihan.

"Goodmorning class has anyone seen Jihan?", I asked loudly.

"Nope, Not me" , one student said then the others followed with more no's.

"I'll be right back I've called Mrs.Aiwaza to watch you all really quickly", they groaned in union.

"Now now we'll watch a movie with popcorn if you behave!", I giggled as they straightened up.

Quickly I dashed around the school suddenly I saw my husband , we bumped into each other my stomach ached it wasn't a coincidence.

He never comes here...

"My love remember I said I'll fix that?", he announced in my ear.

"I saw Jihan's mom today could you believe she would sell the boy for a thousand dollars?", he grunted.

"W-what?!", I yelped looking confused as my heart intensified.

"I bought him for you so I could fix you", he smiled eeriely.

"Go you'll find him by the old school garden", he snorted.

I ran as quickly as I could my gut was turning something wasn't right, I walked over to the greenhouse blood was splattered on the ground as I walked in. There was a puddle of blood being soaked up by the dirt like a straw, Jihan's head laid there severed and the scene was gruesome.

I threw up immediately rushing out running dead into my husband again.

"It's okay you won't ever have to work anymore, I make enough this has to be hard on you go resign", he spoke almost smiling.

"Y-you did this?", I asked sobbing almost choking.

"I fixed it for you now you can be home forever", he said grabbing me dragging me to my boss.

I resigned that day and never taught again months went by and I felt like I was going insane.

"Alright love I'm off to work I want steak tonight I love you", he said slamming the door leaving quickly.

I sighed and cleaned the entire house afterwards I headed to the "local" store twenty minutes from our house, we lived pretty far out.

I started to shop for the ingredients and frowned, I only had enough for the small steaks I knew that wouldn't do. I didn't want to make him mad again...

"The prices recently went up , since the animals are dying out faster than they can supply", A young man spoke to me as if he read my mind.

"O-oh that's too bad", I said looking through more sections.

"I'll buy it for you it's the least I could do , you seemed so sad when I stared over at you", he sympathizes.

"Not that I was looking this entire time... I just ha nevermind I guess", he chuckled becoming embarrassed.

He had very deep voice , deep dimples and pretty black hair, his eyes were a pretty shade of brown he was very tall. I had never seen him before.

"My manners sir I couldn't intrude your wife might get upset", I assumed.

"Oh I'm not with anyone I'm free as a bird , I'm Takashi", He said bowing as I introduced myself as well.

"I better get going truly your too kind", I stated about to walk off.

"Wait please Hina let me at least pay for your things, hopefully that can brighten your day", he says smiling.

I felt a little warm inside, I brushed my orange hair to the side as I thanked him again.

Once I made it back home I prepped the food, I felt better but only for the moment.

The way his smile was so genuine , how his eyes felt warm like melted butter. It made me happy that good people still existed in this harsh world.

Suddenly my husband burst through the door this was the second time, verbal abuse had left a while ago, "I have to go out tonight don't worry about dinner I'm going out for drinks", He announced changing clothes quickly.

"With who?", I asked as I felt his hand bang against my teeth.

"Who else Hina?, my coworkers so don't give me that lip bullshit tonight", he huffed.

I nodded as blood gushed from my lip I could taste it all in my mouth.

"I love you", he said before leaving immediately.

Makeup wasn't going to "heal" this anytime soon, I scrambled myself off the ground as I cleaned myself up. I started to examine the damage he got me pretty good, I started to use peroxide as it ate up my blood leaking from my lips I winced. This was such an exhausting life to live it stripped away my happiness everyday.

I sighed, "why can't I just die already?".

My side hurt like I was kicked, suddenly my doorbell rang.

"I'm the new neighbor I've come to introduce myself!", someone yelled on the opposing side.

"Please come back another time my husband isn't here", I spoke and heard nothing else for the entire night.

I went to the backporch my only sanctuary, I rested the ice pack on my lip as I looked in the sky. My hope was long gone, I didn't even know why I kept living anymore. I could only think about Jihan and how badly I wish I could rewind time.

The next day came then the next, not a sign of Kaza anywhere. I had to get my own groceries thankfully I had money saved up still.

I went back to the local store hoping my favorite meat was there. It was !, that made me happy as I grabbed some veggies I wanted paired with it.

"Hina?", a familar voice called me.

I turned only to look up because I was barely to his chest, "Oh ! , hi Takashi", I said greeting him.

"Haha I'd know that hair from anywhere it's really beautiful", he smiled.

I felt my face flush red, "T-thank you really are too kind", I said looking at my items in my hands.

"What do you have planned this wonderful saturday?", he asked as he picked up a few bell peppers.

"Just to make myself a meal, my husband is out of town", I sighed. It was truly a sigh of relief and I know Takashi caught onto it.

"Oh?, that's too bad I would never leave someone like you alone", he said clearing his throat. He was realizing how the sentence sounded.

"Uh jeez that sounded so wrong, I mean...you should come to a cookout i'm hosting for a few friends of mine", he rushed the words out.

"No disrespect I didn't mean it in anyway like th-

"I understood truly thank you for the invite, it wouldn't hurt to help me smile", I almost laugh cutting into his sentence.

"Oh okay great it's at uh six tonight if you want to come, is it possible I can send it to you the address that is?", he asked.

I nodded and we exchanged info.

He waved goodbye and so did I.

-later around five-

My husband finally called me, "Hey love sorry I've been gone for so long , I decided to go on a business trip I'll be back home in a week... I'll send three thousand I love you", he said ending the call quickly.

"He never would really love me", I sighed as I got dressed for the cookout. A basic T-shirt with a nice throwover and some jeans would suffice.

I looked at the address realizing it was the same house that was three houses down, he was my neighbor this entire time?!.

I left the house and brung some sodas.

The house was so beautiful , the shrubs were clipped to perfection. Finally I rung the doorbell.

When he opened the door everything smelled so yummy, I was distracted quickly by other things. "Hey I'm glad you could make it!, you've brought something too how sweet", he smiled inviting me in.

He had on a nice olive green long sleeve shirt, tan pants that were just a bit tight. he looked really good jesus... what made me muster up the courage to come here.

"You okay?", he asked as I finally stepped in.

"Yeah sorry I was lost in my thoughts", I said half lying.

"Oh I understand I get like that when I look at things too", he laughed as I turned red again.

"These are my friends, Julia, Sebastian and Ruger", he said as we all spoke to each other.

Time flew by we ate delicious burgers etc and had a few drinks.

Ruger & Julia passed out then Sebastian followed.

"I had a really fun time", I admit half drunk.

"I'm glad you seem like you rarely do", he sighed on my behalf.

"I dedicate my time solely to my husband", I state.

"Oh...that explains why he isn't here, I assume he works a lot?", he asks.

I nod, "It's alright maybe one day I'll have kids to take care of", instantly Jihan flashed in my head as tears streamed down my face.

"Oh no are you okay???", he ask wiping the tears from my face with a handkerchief giving it to me.

"Y-yes I'm fine", I lie.

"If you want children why won't your husband give you some, maybe you guys should talk more about it", he states.

"No ! no he hates kids", I nearly yell.

"Why would he hate creating something with you?", he asked looking concerned.

"Haha I don't know let's just talk about something else", I say walking out to his balcony.

"You ever need someone to talk to i'm here", he says looking into my eyes. He was so gentle so kind. His nice hair was ruffled like feathers, the moon complimented his lips & skin nicely. What the hell was I thinking I needed to leave before I started to like him too much.

"Thank you I'll be sure to remember that", I say as I smile at the moon.

"You seem sad all the time , is everything okay?", he asks actually caring.

"No i'm fine truly just lonely sometimes", I laugh it off.

"I get lonely too , I've been battling my depression ever since my girlfriend passed away two years ago", he honestly spills.

"Oh no i'm so sorry I couldn't ever imagine", I sympathized.

"Yeah it was getting worse but then I ran into you and you seemed more depressed than me, then I thought this woman needs someone to make her smile", he chuckles.

"Then I found out what causes a piece of your unhappiness today as you have found out mine", he says sighing.

"Thank you Takashi", I said giving him a hug.

"Please, just call me Kashi", he said hugging me back.

"One more drink before you go?", he offered.

I smiled and took one, we laughed even more and told more stories. Finally I felt a moment of happiness.

"That's crazy Hina, no way I could swim that long", he laughed.

"My parents made me!", I yelled mocking the movements.

"Being around you is like alleviation in it's purest essence", he said smiling at me.

I felt my throat & stomach tense up in butterflies.

"Wow...same for you", I smiled.

"I guess I better go", I laughed then tripped over a root in the yard.

Kashi grabbed me before I could fall, "Everyone trips over that damn thing, sorry I couldn't speak fast enough", he says holding onto me as I regained my balance.

"At least you caught me", I laughed then my face went blank I had instant chills.

He was so handsome I really couldn't help but stare into his soft brown eyes. His gentle grip let me go as I still looked up at him.

"Uhh...H-hina?", he asked as his face turned red.

"Yes I know I better get going", I chuckled I felt embarrassed... I was just staring at him for so long.

"I hope you can come over again?", he asks.

"Yes I will!", I assure.

-The following morning-

What on earth was Kashi intending to say if I hadn't said anything. I should let it go i'm a married woman.

My phone dinged, "hey you want to do waffles and coffee?", Kashi had texted me.

*H* : Sure that sounds fun! ^-^

*K* : Great! Just swing by my house I can drive us.

-End chat-

I wore something better this time , my skirt was just above my knees and I had a nice v neck shirt that went with it.

I rang the doorbell as he answered quickly.

He smelled so good his shirt was a nice dark blue button on along with black pants.

"Hey goodmorning are you ready?", He asked smiling again.

"Yes I am", I said following him into his benz.

He opened the door for me and then quickly drove us to the food spot.

"So you ever been to Pollos before?", he asks as we arrived at a stop light.

"No I've heard great things though", I say looking out the window.

"You're going to love it", he smiled.

"You know you don't have to pay for me or anything I have some money", I admit.

"It's the least I can do for a friend it's fine honestly thats just my style", he says grinning.

"Only because you insist", I laugh.

"This light is so long over here", he grunts as he shuffles through his playlist.

I was about to reply but his charm caught me offguard again, as he sat back looking for which song to change. I noticed how clean he really was, his hair was so neat and his chest practically took over his shirts. I didn't notice he was so big, he took great care of himself despite his depression. His lips were very inviting as he started to chew some gum.

His eyes darted my way as he paused.

"Oh sorry you wanted a piece?", he asked.

"Yes please", I said realizing I was gawking too long.

"I figured so when I saw you looking", he laughed as we arrived.

After we were seated I started to feel down again.

"What's wrong?", he asked.

"I was just thinking how I never go out , my husband doesn't have the time you know", I sigh.

"It's starting to sound like he doesn't make time", Kashi scoffed.

"Maybe one day he will", I grumble.

"If not then you can just go out to places with me , I will be the best friend that supports you, that I can promise!", he says holding his hand out as I shook in agreement.

"Thanks Kashi you're so sweet to me, what do you usually get here?", I ask.

"Oh mmm this one the number 3", he says pointing to the menu.

I checked the menu and felt him staring at me, "what is it?", I laugh.

"Just guessing what you'll pick is all", he laughs.

"Tell me", I gesture a wave.

"Number 7 , the waffle eggs and bacon with a salad", he asks.

"Yeah you got me", I laugh.

"Everyone loves that combo I had a hunch you would", he says shaking his head smiling.

"I know it sounds corny but thank you for being my friend Kashi", I blurt.

"It's not corny I appreciate our friendship already too , truly gets my mind off things", he exhales.

As we talked more and more we found out we had a lot in common anime was one of them.

"There's no way you didn't cry at the end of darling in the franxx", I gasped.

"It was really good but I just didn't feel that connected the story was great though!", he laughed.

"I believe you but you definitely cried with grave of the fireflies?!", I yelled.

"Mmm nope it was sad as hell though!", he pouted.

"I never knew you were into the things I like it's actually really refreshing", I smile.

"Yeah same here we should go to my place and start a new anime together?", he asked.

"Yes let's do it and drinks we need drinks!", I smile hopping out my chair.

"I'm glad we can have fun let's go!", he shouted happily.

We arrived quickly to the house and did everything as planned suddenly, my sad life at home started to feel like a dream.

"Now that movie was a literal mind fuck I couldn't even blink away", Kashi pondered.

"I'm glad you liked it !", I felt my words come out too loudly then apologized.

"Really it's okay Hina you don't have to apologize for being yourself", he said almost frowning.

"Heh I guess I do , do that alot huh?", I said as I noticed his eyes glaring at my lips as I spoke.

"It's alright I know what it's like after someone is annoyed , by specific things that is and you try to change it so you start apologizing frequently", he sighed.

"You never have to do that around me okay?", he requested.

I nodded, "I better get home today was so fun though", I said hugging him tightly.

"Of course anything for you", he replied waving bye.

Once I got home I felt empty again the house was so quiet.

My phone chimed

*K* : I got bored right after you left lol.

*H*: Oh my god me too I'm laying here bored listening to my heartbeat.

*K*: Hahaha but seriously, I don't want to get you in trouble let me know if you can't come out with me.

*H*: OH no you're fine , but I will definitely let you know if we ever have to reschedule things.

*K*: Great , hey Hina can I ask you a question?.

*H*: Of course go ahead.

*K*: What's your favorite animal?

*H*: Mmm probably a tiger their so pretty to me.

*K*: Ha great I have a surprise for you tomorrow if you're free?

*H*: Yes I am I can't wait!

*K*: Me either we always have a good time

*H*: Yes we do , is there anything else?

*K*: Yes one more, how long have you and your husband been together?

*H*: Six years now... Maybe I'll get lucky and this year he'll actually give me what I want

*K*: Uh oh lol well if he doesn't I always can

*H*: LOL as much as you do I couldn't ask you for that specifically

*K*:What is it that you truly want??

*H*: Some kids so I can finally give more of my love haha

*K*: OHH right sorry lmaooo I feel like an idiot now... I thought it was something I could fulfill for you immediately, I know you wish your husband would change his mind, I think if he really puts more thought into it he'll agree.

*H*: I really doubt it thanks for cheering me up though , I wish things were different.

*K*: Want to vent?

*H*: Yes I'd love to for starters I just wish my husband never changed , after we got married he did just that...It hasn't been easy.

*K*: I want to talk on the phone I hate texting.

Immediately I got a phone call from Kashi and answered

*H*: Hey what's up?

*K*: I want to know what you mean what hasn't been easy?

*H*: Uh well the verbal abuse hasn't been very easy I miss how sweet he was

*K*: He...doesn't hit you does he??

*H*: Oh...No he just says hurtful things to me

*K*: I'm sorry Hina you truly don't deserve that you deserve the world in my eyes.

I couldn't even say anything else his voice was so soothing.

*K*: You still there?

*H*: Yeah sorry I just... I just hate that I'm just now meeting someone like you

*K*: Haha it's okay you met me at the perfect time we can grow together as friemds should.

*H*: Thanks Kashi , Truly you are out if this world.

*K*: Stop you're making me red haha

*H*: As if! You know you're the shit don't be so modest!

*K*: I'm not , I'm glad you think so though it boosts me up a tad

*H*: My opinion doesn't matter! I'm getting tired , I'm going to crash you should get some sleep we have a big day tomorrow.

*K*: Will do sleep well!

-Call End-

Why couldn't I tell Kashi the truth...

I don't want him to be worried about that stuff I just want to enjoy his company.

I sighed and rolled over falling asleep instantly.

When I woke up my bank account had 6,000$ Deposited into it.

"I'm going to be another week love until we can close this deal , these people are stubborn wish me luck!", Kaza had said to me in text.

I sighed everything felt so heavy. I got dressed and headed over to Kashi's house.

"Hey what's going on", He said smiling letting me in.

"Nothing just excited to see what you have up your sleeve now", I smirked.

"Haha well first stop is the Subway station, we have to abandon our cars today", He said gesturing for me to hurry.

Once we got there it was so overlycrowded I held his sleeve.

"Are you uncomfortable?", He asked me.

"Not at all it's just I don't want to lose you in all this mess", I retorted.

"Of course", he said and held my hand instead.

"I won't let you get lost I have you", he said looking down at me.

"O-Of course I know this haha", I admitted trying to avoid eye contact.

My stomach had butterflies out the ass my stupid body doesn't know any better.

The ride was NOT smooth at all more people got on it was definitely an experience.

"Thank god we're almost there", he smiled.

"I'm glad-

Before I could finish my sentence someone bumped into me hard forcing me to faceplant into Kashi's toned chest & I damn near rubbed against too much.

"WHYYYY", My mind raced I looked up but Kashi face had changed completely.

He looked so angry , he made me have chills I couldn't avert my gaze. He just held onto me and grabbed the strangers shoulder telling the man to apologize immediately.

"Pshh she was in the way hell it's barely any room in here", The man replied.

"The fuck did you just say?", Kashi said stepping closer to him still holding my hand.

"D-Damn man I'm sorry I don't want any problems, look miss lady I didn't mean to I apologize", He said shaking his hands in a no motion.

"Okay that's all the lady wanted watch where your going next time", Kashi growled.

The man nodded and left into the crowd.

I felt so protected what the hell came over Kashi, He looked down at me.

"Are you okay Hina?", He asked.

I just stared into his eyes , I knew my face was red as hell I could barely part my lips.

"Y-yes thank you for that some people are so rude", I sighed.

"It's okay I told you I have you don't worry about a thing", he assured.

Our stop finally came and we got off he lead us to an unknown area that turned into an exhibit.

"Where are we?", I asked.

"This is an exotic animal national park, luckily my parents run everything here so today you get to see your tiger", he smiled.

"What?!, really? My god Kashi you're truly too much", I ran over my words as I spoke.

"Anything for my bestest friend", he said trying to contain his excitement.

We had so much fun taking pictures with the different animals and feeding them , I even got to pet the tiger I could barely believe the day I had.

By the time we left it was dark and we went back to Kashi's house.

"Man I'm tired", I exhaled.

"Me too I'm just happy you're happy", he admitted.

"Stop it I have to do something now!", I said nudging his arm.

"No no everything is genuine you owe me nothing", he said getting up to wash some dishes.

I raced to the kitchen to wash them for him, my hip bumped into his, "Nooo at least let me do this!", I yelled giggling.

He put his hands up, "Alright , alright haha you got this", he said stepping back.

"How long did it take you to decide to live alone?", I asked aburptly.

"Ehh really a year after Sasha passed, I knew I had to after she was gone", he sighed.

"Were you going to marry her?", I ask.

"Yes she just understood me, can't live in the past forever though", he said quickly.

"I know what you mean", I said finishing up.

"Thanks you really didn't have to", he laughed.

"Please it's nothing for a house maid like myself", I joked.

"PFFT you are not a maid stop it, your husband better start helping you out!", he yelled.

"Ha yeah when pigs fly", I half joked.

He frowned, "I wish I- ha nevermind enough with my wishes whenever you need help call me", he stated.

I smiled and gave him a long hug I could hear his heartbeat increase as I just held on.

"Do I make you nervous?", I asked loudly.

"N-no I just wasn't expecting that is all", he said hugging me tightly back.

"I hope I don't make you uncomfortable, if I step over any boundaries please let me know", I said looking up at him releasing my hug.

He stood there saying nothing he just looked away , he was pure red he had covered his mouth with his hand.

"What's wrong?", I nearly yelled.

He shook his head saying no.

"Oh my god Takashi did I say something wrong", I blurted.

"Ha...no I just had to collect myself you have so much respect in my book", he exhaled.

"Oh haha so do you Kashi", I smiled.

He grinned and sat back down on the couch.

Why was he not able to talk? He had to collect himself... did I make Kashi feel butterflies too?

Let me get out of my head I'm overthinking this shit.

"I guess I will head home then Kashi I'm so tired", I spoke up.

"Of course let me drop you off there", he said getting his keys.

We arrived in seconds I loved his car it was so quick.

"I'll see you later", he said smiling.

"Of course you will", I said hugging him again.

He made sure I made it in then sped off.

*K*: I had such a good time with you today I enjoyed making you happy

*H*: I cannot thank you enough! Tomorrow I'll do something for you I INSIST!

*K*: Awww okay only because you insist...

*H*: Earlier today you sure I didn't do anything wrong , I remember you saying you had to collect yourself.

*K*: That was nothing really I just havent been hugged so consistently a long long time , sometimes I get in my feelings about it.

*H*: I'm sorry Kashi! I hope I didn't hurt your feelings or made you feel sad, I'm selfish I didn't think of it that way.

*K*: NO don't apologize please you are fine I just overthink it isn't your fault.

*H*: I'll refrain from hugging if it makes you feel better

*K*: Ha please never stop hugging me it actually makes me feel better

*H*: LOL okay I will never stop! Your my bestfriend afterall.

*K*:I live to please!

*H*:You do it so well too !

*K*: Hina your a really a beautiful soul yk that?

*H*: Your soul radiates with a heightened sense of tranquility...it's calming to be around.

*K*: Damn you truly are one in a million , no one else would think of those words.

I had fell asleep and woke up quickly, it was raining WHYYYYY.

I checked my phone.

*K*: I literally fell asleep after texting that last sentence lol

*H*: lmao I didn't even get to read it until now I was knocked out too!

*K*: haha it's raining what in the world should we do today?

*H*: Todays about you, we shouldddd watch more anime though!

*K*: Great idea you pick the snacks!

*H*: Will dooo

-A few minutes later-

"Hey!", I said nearly running inside.

"Hey hey you look like you're feeling great today", He smiled back.

"Yeah I am I just love watching shows with you", I say.

"I love it too Hina", He laughed.

We sat down and watched several shows the rain calmed me down so much I had fell asleep to Akira. When I woke up I almost jolted but then I realized I was in Kashi's lap he had a cover over me , he was also sleep.

I looked up at him and watched his movements he would breathe slow then deeply exhale then right back to slow, his neck was actually kind of thick and his shoulders were so broad.

His bottom lip looked so soft , why couldn't I stop thinking as Kashi of more than just a friend.

He really was that handsome.

I was locked into his features I didn't even stop glaring, He woke up in seconds I couldn't look away now , he had locked his eyes to mine so quickly.

He let out a little laugh, "What are you looking at?".

I froze up barely breathing, "I...".

"I just woke up and I couldn't zone in I sort of zoned out", I say clearing my throat and sitting up.

"Thanks for letting me rest I didn't know I was that tired", I say quietly.

"It's fine I wasn't going to interrupt your rest you go through enough", He sighed a sad tone.

"You are something else", I say grinning I was nervously , bitting away at the inside of my bottom lip.

"You wanna get high?", he asked standing up as his stature was presented in front of me I felt a sense of comfort.

"We can what did you have in mind?", I asked him curious.

"Let's eat these cookie edibles my friend sells them , it's pretty good stuff", He admits.

"That sounds amazing I used to smoke but I slowed down as a teacher, well I used to be", I said frowning.

"You should tell me more when you want, here let's just continue our shows while pizza and wings arrive", He reassured.

"I'm not super hungry yet", I sigh.

"OH you will be I'm telling you", he said laughing.

He handed me the cookie as he went to grab me a water I ate the whole thing instantly.

"Here is some water just...You didn't", He said pausing.

"What? I've ate one before", I laughed.

"The THC in this is really high you really need only half", he slowly stated.

"Well I guess I'll just be really high", I shrug.

"Not alone you rebel I'll eat my whole one too", He nodded eating the entire thing.

Two hours passed by and I was sooo hungry.

*Ding-Dong*

"That has to be the pizza", Kashi stated in the air.

"You want me to get it?", I replied back.

"No... no I can't make you do anything, you'll always be catered to here!", He said getting up and grabbing the food.

We ate so much we then continued another movie.

"I hate this part when she finally realizes her demise was written and sealed with fate", I sighed.

"It's crazy you say that because I was just thinking that", He yawned.

"Are you getting tired again!", I yelled.

"Nooo I just had to you know cool my brain off more", He laughed.

"Uh huh sure", I said quickly laying my head down on the throw pillows.

"Is it hot in here to you?", He asked me and I nodded.

He got up and turned on the A/C.

"It's so damn hot in here to me I'm so high", he said slowly unbuttoning his shirt, he pulled it completely off when he had enough buttons opened.

My gaze didn't switch away, He got something to drink out the fridge his back was so massive.

I could tell he worked out a lot with his spare time, It gave me goosebumps just studying his body. "You want something too?", he asked barely turning his head.

"Yeah a water is fine", I say still looking as he bent down to grab me one , then stood up heading back. Just in time I had looked away then he sat down and handed me the water.

"Let me know if you need anything else", he said almost killing the whole bottle of water. The droplets dripped down from his chest to every crevice in his abs, down to his belly button, down to hi-

"That is crazy how thirsty I was", He said looking over at me damn near out if breath.

"Mhmmmmm where is the bathroom again?", I said hopping up like a little rabbit.

"Come come follow me", he said and I did.

"Look", he said laughing staring into the mirror looking at his own eyes.

"Damn I'm so high my eyes are blood red", I nearly stuttered.

"Let me see forget the mirror", I requested for him to face me , forgetting why I needed to even go to the bathroom. Then I remembered immediately when we locked eyes. It was his body , his character, his heart, his compassion, and his surplus of love he barely realized how much he was giving.

"Yeah your eyes are super red", I laughed quickly turning my head back to the mirror.

"Haha you're so adorable", he laughed hysterically.

I pouted, "Oh it's that funny?".

"I swear I'm not being sarcastic you really are super adorable, do cute things like demand me to face you", he laughed.

I started smiling and laughed too.

"Hina?", he asked after finishing his laugh.

"Yeah?", I replied.

"I...nevermind it's nothing truly", he said scratching his head and walking out.

I closed the door and used the bathroom then I was lost in thought.

After I came back to the living room Kashi had laid back down with the cover over him.

I tapped him, "What were you going to say?".

"I just really enjoy your company", He expressed sitting up his arms resting on his legs.

"I feel the same Kashi it's so wholesome", I smile.

"See that right there...Thank you for existing", He smiled.

"You're so sweet", I grinned still high as a kite.

His head tilted to the side leaning on the couch, "You're so beautiful inside and out please don't ever forget that", he said fixing my hair out of my face.

I was so red I couldn't speak.

He noticed and he turned red too.

"I meant to do that in my head", he spoke aloud.

"I mean not that , I-I'm going to shut up", he said covering his mouth again with his hand.

"I know you mean well your my bestfriend, thank you your equally as beautiful", I said hugging him.

He held onto me and thanked me hugging me back.

I realized the hug I gave was intruding I was right between his legs. I was froze in the moment once I lifted myself up I was facing him.

"Hina what's wrong?", He asked as he still held on.

I realized I was coming down from my high and my head was spinning, I just layed back down and fell asleep.