Marriage between us

Jannat

"Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path"

Mom said from the driving seat, we are driving to my mom and dad’s first place ever. a small apartment in West Chicago at the end of the city. The song ‘lag Jaa gale’ from the movie “who kaun thi” is playing on the radio, today is the day he died from serving our country. sixteen years back before I was born. Every year this day we go to the apartment.

Their I feel my dad is with me but today is something different, this is the first time. I am visualizing heavy rain at this time of the session, the streets are empty and very dark no other cars or people are on-street only rain sound is approaching at my ears weirdly, I am feeling anxious trying to forget that unpleasant feeling instead, I focus on what mom is saying.

“what does it mean,” I asked curiously. she always says quotes like that, I always like to hear their meaning a lot.

she smiles at me soothing my browned hair out of my face which is getting very long, it started to get very annoying now.

“It means not all storms will do damage to you, and thay may even come to take away your sadness, miseries, stress, and any reasons of lagging behind” she pate my hade lightly “and thay may even come to clear your path and help you get a new dimension of your life all over again” thinking about her words for a moment, I stare out of the window, as long as my gaze goes only darkness fils in my vision. something shifts in the air, we both are silent for a moment, swallowing the lump in my throat I try to break the tension.

“I don’t want a new life, I like how it is even if my classmate calls me fat but I have you and it's perfect” I pout at her. she laughed at my childish's comment pushing my pouty lips from one finger, shaking her hade still smiling.

“it is not on us to decide what type of life we want Jaan. Once I want to die wane, I heard your dad is dead but then I got the good news that you are coming” she pinches my cubby checks, looking back at the dark street. I can feel her inhaling deeply, her finger tightened upon staring the wheel. she began to drive slower now, still with a tight smile she continues “and I have a new reason to live again believe in god, if you are alive, there is always someone who needs you. if you don’t have, you just have to find one” I node at mom feeling uneasy about what is happening.

“oh, Jaan did I tell you this funny story about your dad one day. I asked him to take me somewhere on a date did you know where did he took me it was…..” a loud engine sound stops her. I lifted my hade spotting a shiny black car is racing at full speed towards us in dark. my breath stop, All blood rushes out of my body.

“mom! Mom! Car…..” The car crash hard against our car. before I can say anything further, I shut my eyes tightly, burning my face in my hand as a loud “slam!” sound loomed out from cars from slamming against each other following by lots of screaming, crying sounds.

I just feel numb, all the words are stuck in the back of my thore. a second pass by, everything become quiet just like before, a weak raindrops sound fills my ears as if nothing happened. Only the pain and ache in every part of my body is reminding me, there was an accident just a few moments ago.

I gradually open my eyes, blinking rapidly breathing harshly, titling my hade to the side, spotting my mom whose hade is a slam against the staring wheel, tears gathering up in my eyes.

what just happened, how did my world shift in just one moment. taking another deep breath, I harshly wipe away unwanted tears. nothing happened to my mom. I know how my brain works, it always thing the worst, of every situation. I unlock my seat belt with shaky fingers and shoved her back on the seat. gasp escape from my lips as I saw her forehead cover in blood, so much blood. I never saw so much blood in my whole life. Oh god, she must be hurting so much.

I cup her bloody cheeks with my shaky finger “mom mom mom” I whimper no! no! I am not going to think the worst. this can't be happening to us now. I shake her hade a little “mom” moaning from the pain her eyes slowly open, Brown eyes field with tears. she takes my hand from her cheeks and pressed it against her chest “I had a great life Jaan” she whispered with a little smile on her dry lips “and you_”

“no, don’t give me a lecture on life now, as if you are daying. you are not going anywhere, I am taking you to the doctor” I cut her, reaching over on her side of the door with my trembling hands trying to open it. I am not giving up.

“oh my brave Jaan just like her father” mom whispers, no I am not brave. she doesn’t know what type of thoughts are running in my mind, I am far away from brave like a father.

Her bloody finger touches my arm stopping me. I lifted my gaze at her, smiling at me, she runs her finger on a chain around her neck, covering it with blood “take it out” I shake my hade, she never takes out her chain ever “please Jaan” she pleads, her eyes wear started to close now, she breathing heavy, swallowing hard, I reche for her chain and unclip it.

“hear,” I said, laying her chain on my palm she puts her hand on top of mine, crushing the chain between our joint hands.

Mom looks at me, tears running down her cheeks mixing with blood. I bite my lower lips holding back my tears “this was a last gift from your father before he died, it’s nothing special but it always gives me hope in dark, it will give you too, ” she chokes for breath. I can't even tell her to stop talking because no matter how much I deny it, somewhere in corner of my heart I know this is the last time she is talking to me and I want te to hear it all “promise me you will accomplish your dreams, promise me you will have a big loving family, a husband who will die for you, a real friends who will support you at your worst and beautiful babies" licking her dry lips she smiled “thes all the things, I wanted in my life but I didn't get it, promise me you will have what I can’t Jannat” she is struggling to keep her eyes open. I can't hold it back anymore.

“promise” I whisper, hot tears roll down my cheeks, my heart sinks painfullyin in my chest with emotions, emotions that clog in my throat like I swallow a whole bone. The least I can do is promise her.

relief wash over her face, Closing her eyes she let her hade drop back on a headrest “I can go with my love peaceful now” she whispers, smiling, her hand falls from mine, leaving the chain behind. My gaze jarks down at the chain in my hand.

it's pa simple gold chain with a flat heart locket. I flip the heart around, there is ”my heart is yours” is written in Hindi on the back, I brush my fingers over letters.

A loud pounding sound snapped me back to an ugly reality. man whose almost full face is covered in blood, a long cut just above his eyebrow, blood is still dripping from a cut. he is struggling to open the door, was it his car that slams into ours? after a few attempts, he manages to open the car door.

“out!, patrol is leaking, the car is going to be on fire anytime,” his voice is hard and firm wane it should be shaky and weak like mine. did he not feel what just happened, I peer back at mom who still has her little smile on her face. her eyes are closed, she is not breathing but what if she is alive, I can’t leave her here. I have to take her out with me.

“can you help…” I trail off.

“she is dead, you want to come out or not” he cut me off.

I gasp “how do you know she is dead”

“Trust me, there is no one in World, who knows death better than me” he smiles at me, something in his gray eyes darkens with excitement at the mention of the dead. swallowing hard, I take my gaze away from him. I don’t have a good feeling about him. glancing one last time at my mom's smiling face. I put a chain around my neck, so I didn't get it lost anywhere.

I swung out of the car, hiss in pain as my legs touch the ground, peeking down I notice my leg is covered in blood. I didn't even realize. rain has been stope now. suddenly the man picks me up in bride style and I didn't even protest because I know I can’t walk. other than his heavy breath, everything is silent around us. He is lost in his own thoughts and I am in mine, a few feet away from the car he gently settles me down on the floor.

I winch in horror as my gaze found his car, a woman is sitting on the passenger seat with her very round belly. her all body is covered in blood, she is defiantly dead. she probably is his wife, he lost his unborn child and wife. a loud boom sound startled me as his car gets on fire following by another booming sound as the car my mom in got on fire. my stomach turns painful.

I started to get up to go for my mom. A cold hard hand on my solder push me down. I lifted my gaze at him regrating strange man. he is not even looking at his burning wife instead, he is staring at the dark sky, clenching his jaw hard, there is not even a single tear in his eyes. What an emotionless bastard.

I shift my gaze back to my mom, her smiling face is despairing little by little with smoke and fire until I can't see her anymore. suddenly it all becomes very real I am never going to see my mom ever again. I burst into tears, my heart rate speeds up, I struggle to breathe, my whole body feels numb and eventually, my vision turns black.

*****************************

my eyes snap open, I flinch as bright light hits my eyes. I tried to get up from the soft bed I am in, a low gasp sound comes from my side, I follow the sound blond hair woman is sitting on an armchair beside the window taking my gaze away from her. I scan the room blue walls, basket boll, shirt on the wall, lots of botes in the corner. it looks like some teenage boy room. why am I here? Memory comes flooding back of car accident, mom dying, fire, smoke, screaming, blood, so much blood tears field in my eyes.

“Oh, my child don't cry” blond hair woman rush to my side and settled beside me on the bed “everything will be okay” taking a deep breath I wipe my tears away.

“whare am I? how did I get to here” I manage to say.

“Nicholas brought you here” Nicholas is probably the guy who saved me. “and don’t worry, you are safe” she smiles softly at me, revealing dimples on her cheeks. “can you walk? everyone is waiting for you”

My regard my legs, a banded is wrapped around them. I swung them out of bad flinching a little from pain but I can move my legs “I think so” I murmured gazing back at her worrying “who is waiting for me”

She gets on her feet, taking my hand in her “do you have any family waiting for you at home dear” I shake my head. it was always been, my mom and me. We always move around from city to city due to mom's work. this is the reason I never have any friends growing up.

my mom's family stope talking to her when thay find out she wants to marry a non-christian man. I don’t know anything about my dad's family realization hit me. I don’t have anyone in the whole world. teras wear started to gath up in my eyes again “oh no, honey” she huge me “everything is going to be okay, we are your family now” I don’t know what she means by they are my family. Pulling back she pushes the hair out of my face, the same way mom used to do “just say yes to everything”

“What should I say yes to”

“anything thay ask, in order for you to stay here” what are they going to ask? what if they asked me to do bad things? I shake my hade trying to get rid of negative thoughts, she is nice, her family probably will be nice too.

She leads me out of the room, through the long stares “ I am Elena by the way” she said waking slowly by my side.

“Jannat”

“that’s a beautiful name, it means haven in Hindi right” she smiles at me, I node in the reply at the end of stares, big haul came in view with a big bar in the corner, a long dining table on other corners at least for 100 people, 8 or 9 big french windows, two big red sofas in front, it's looking like a big mansion three men are sitting on the sofa all in a black suit.

I recognize one of tham is Nicholas, he is the one who saved me to their side, one old man is sitting on an armchair, as we enter every pair of eyes glance at us with no expiration on their face. a shiver went down my body leaving gosbams behind, on their emotionless expiration, Elena settled with me on the sofa opposite side of the men’s.

“Davide can she stay whit us, she doesn’t have anywhere else to go,” Elena said softly to a man who is sitting on a middle. he has a tattoo on side of his thore something in Italian maybe, he didn't say anything in response, there is just cold expiration on his face.

“you cannot let that happen, what will our people think when thay find out an outsider is living in their capo's mansion without having any relation with anyone,” a man said, from the left, he is an old man, his few white hairs is puch back neatly. “and she won't be safe either way, everyone will make move on her, she is no ones” he smirked at me, I shift on my seat feeling uneasy, creep.

“I brought her to work as whore at one of our clubs or sell her in vegas as a slave not to fucking stay here” Nicholas glared, I finch on my seat at the hardness of his voice. Oh god, why did I get off the car with him? Yes, I was numb, I don’t know what I was doing.

The bold man sitting on an armchair scan me hade to toe with dark gray eyes same as Nicholas. winking his nose at me as if I discussed him “she can marry Nicholas that way, she can stay here safe and he needs a wife who will give him son anyway, now that his useless wife died before birth their son” Nicholas scowled from his seat in protest. why everyone is so cruel here. his wife died just like yesterday.

“no,” Elena said calmly, to bold man "did you see your son Ivan. he is practically a walking beast after Sofia's dead and Jannat is sixteen. she is not going to give him son anytime soon” Ivan the bold man just struggles as if he doesn’t care less what will happen to me, a dark shadow appears on Nicholas's face at the mention of his wife Sofia, quickly vanishes before anyone can notice.

I would have felt sympathy for him, if he didn't just save me to sell me. Elena squeeze my hand looking at the tattooed man who seems like the head here with worried expiration “she can marry Luciano” which gets some expiration on his face. it vanishes quickly just like Nicholas. why people are afraid to show their true emotion here. his dark black eyes remain cold.

Nicholes snapped in disagreement “I didn't fucking brought her to here to marry our next capo, She is fucki…..”

“you want her to marry our son” the tattooed man Davide's voice is as cold and calm as his eyes. wait, what? He is Elena's husband, But they are as different as day and night.

“why not, she is sixteen so of course she is pure. she is beautiful, she will be a good match for him” Elena swallow, Davide gaze shifts on her neck, a muscle twitch in his jaw something shift between them. she seems afraid of her own husband and he seems to hold power over people, the air in haul became thik with tension everyone is silent, waiting for him to make a decision.

I open my mouth to protest, I don’t want to marry anyone but Elena squeezes my hand hard silently saying shut the fuck up.

after a few minutes of silence, Davide nods at Elena, she nods back as if thay made some type of agreement silently with their eyes. Davide gets up everyone stands after him so I stand as well. His cold gaze scene everyone in the haul.

“she will marry my son Luciano after two years. when she is eighteen, till then she will live in our house as his fiancé” he announces walking out of the room not before I notice a gun tucked into his waistband. my heart clenches in my chest with fear what are these people? And did thay just decide I am going to marry without asking me.

“come, dear” Elina lead me back to the room before I can protest, settling me down on the bed, she takes my hand in her with a pleading manner in her eyes “forgive me, dear, it's not my place to decide who will you marry but believe me this was the only way I can convince them, so you can stay here. we are very traditional family” I node at her, she hade to do this, if she didn't do this. I will be living on the street. At sixteen years old with no food in my belly, no roof over my head and I can't even get a job.

“It is ok” I fake smile, maybe it's not that bad marriage won't be until next 2 year till then I will find a job and save enough money to run away from here, yeah that's good plane. no way in a world I am going to marry a strange, but let them think I will.

“and don’t vary my son is a good man” she smiles at me, sure I am totally convinced by looking at other men in there famiy. Who look like they walk out of some mafia movie "once you get to know him, you will love him” I hope her son is not anything like his father, loving someone is the last thing on my mind right now, maybe in two years who knows anything can happen.

The door crack open, a woman came in with a food tray in her hand. my stomach turned with hunger. I didn't realize I am hungry till now. she stated tray in front of my plate is filled whit Fruit, garlic bread, roasted chicken.

“our maid Sara,” Elina motions at women. Sara just node and walk out of the room without a word.

Elena gestures towards food “you can eat, I will send Roisin and Diana here to give you company. Roisin is my daughter and Diana is Sara's, they are your age. you can be friends with them” I node at her smiling, squishing my hand she gets out of the room shutting the door behind her. as she leaves, I took one peach of fruit, putting it in my mouth, I sigh in relief.

a few seconds later, the door burst open blond hair girl walked in she must be is Roisin. she has the same blond hair as Eliana. behind her red hair girl, her hair is pulled up in a bun on top of her hade, she must be Diana the made Sara's daughter. Diana waves at me smiling and sit on an armchair nearby the window. Roisin walks back and forth in front of me, huffing angrily at the floor, there is an awkward silence in the air suddenly Roisin stops walking and narrows her eyes at me.

“you meet aunty Katina” I shake my hade at her, what she is talking about “she is Nicholas's mother” she looks back and front between Diana and me, “she told me to act as your age what the fuck is that? Why do I care how old I am? The ocean is old as fuck, it will still drown your ass with vigor” Roisin growled, pushing her blonde hair off her shoulder angrily. why I am not surprised his whole family is cruel like him.

I stare at Diana for a moment, before we both burst out laughing. Roisin growled at us, getting more annoying taking pics of her blond hair, she started rolling them between her fingers.

“so you are comparing yourself to the ocean” Diana murmured, trying to make a serious face. I bite my lips, holding back my laughter. my heart feels light this is the first time I laugh after the accident.

“you are full shit you know that right, I just want to know how to ride a bike and she has to interfere her big ass in everything” Roisin scoffed, I look at her wide eye, she has a filthy mouth. Diana just waves her hand with expiration of you will get used to it.

“so you are going to marry my brother,” Roisin asked, leaning against a wall with her arms crossed in front of her, it seems like her anger has been washing off.

I node at her, for now let them think that, nibbling another bite of fruit that stops on my lips just as my gaze found a picture on the wall next to her. it is a picture of a boy in his teenager holding a small black dog in his arms.

he has blond hair same as Elena, white pale skin, pink lips which has a little smile on, as he is looking down at the small dog in his arms and oh god he has two different colors eyes one is light black and the other is light blue, is he wearing lance? no, they don’t look like a lance. his eyes are so warm and fascinating that sand shivers down my spine making my heart rate speed. he is Luciano, my future husband.

“stop drooling” Roisin snorted at me. my cheek heat with embarrassment. I must be looking like a crepe staring at her brother's picture “It's been two years since he left Chicago, in another two years you are going to marry him. so in a total of four years" she rise 4 fingers on top of her head wawing "four years is enough to Change a person from angle to devil babe, specially wane you are in New York and on top of that working with our one and only....."

"oh shut up, don't scare the girl" Diane warns.

"oh don't be scared" roisin smirks "at least not yet"

What! Want does it mean. Oh if only I knew what type of family I am getting my self into.