CURSED

“Succubi—or as I like to call them, succu-bitches—are like cats,” I said to Breezy as she buzzed past my ear. I counted off the similarities on my fingers: “Very territorial, they all hate each other, they tend to hiss a lot, they smell like piss, they like to hide in dark places, they don’t like to touch each other’s stuff, and some of them have barbed dicks.”

Breezy buzzed around my head once more before coming to stand on my shoulder. “Wouldn’t a succubus with a dick qualify as an … oh, what do you call ’em? An Incubus! That’s it.” She held onto my earlobe for balance as I walked, but when I twisted my neck to look at her, it threw her off. She squealed, then buzzed back up and opted to straddle my shoulder instead.

Breezy was a fully grown Glow Fae. She looked just like a female human, except for the part where she was Eleven inches tall and had beetle wings. Actually, what she had was more like a beetle backpack. She could pop it off anytime but it always stayed connected via this stringy cord thing. Probably for nutrients. As for her clothes, she wore this yarn and moss ensemble that rode up her tiny ass and stretched up over her shoulders so tight it was a wonder it hadn’t snapped off yet.

“Not necessarily,” I said. “I know it’s confusing, but that’s beside the point.”

“Your point being …?”

“My point being that there’s no need to worry, Breeze. If we go in there, we’ll be totally safe. No harm will come to either of us.”

I came to a halt and we both stared up at the cave entrance. It was an ominous looking mountainside orifice, that was for sure. To be honest, it reminded me of a gaping butt hole that had been rammed one too many times. Not that I’ve seen many of those, mind you. But one could imagine. It had this raw, organic vibe about it, like it was breathing. Or flatulating, I suppose. And a thick layer of mist undulated out from it, covering the rocky outcropping before it. Super creepy. I couldn’t even see my centaur hide boots anymore, the mist was so thick.

“So she won’t try to fuck your brains out and leave you a dry, dead husk like a succubus normally would because …” said Breezy, pausing, working out what I’d told her earlier, “... because that other suck-a-fuc, Angelyx, already marked you as her own?”

“Exactly.”

“With her curse.”

“Yes. It’s something they can smell. They hate it. She won’t touch me. Again—cats.”

“But, wait,” said Breezy. “If you smell like some other succubus’ thing, and you just go walking into another suc’s domain, wouldn’t that, oh, I don’t know, piss her off? Wouldn’t that make her want to kill you?”

“Normally, yes, but here’s the catch.” I held up a finger. “If I can break Angelyx’s curse on me, it could seriously injure her. Might even kill her out right, or so I’ve read. Something to do with a part of her demon soul lodged deep inside of me.”

“Sounds kinky.”

“And,” I continued, “the succubus who lives in here,”—I pointed to the cave—“is Angelyx’s greatest nemesis. I believe her name is Kaylisex. Something like that. See, I’ve done a lot of studying, Breeze. Asking around. I know just about all there is to know about the local succubi and my curse, except—”

“Except how to break it, got it,” said Breezy. “And you think Kaylisex can tell you. I see the mutual benefit pitch. Do all sucky-fuckies have names that end in X?”

I thought for a moment, running through every succubus I’d ever read about or met. “Hmm,” I said. “Yeah, I think they do. You ready?”

“As long as you keep your end of the deal, I’ll keep mine,” she said.

“A promise is a promise,” I said. “Once I’m free of this curse, you can suck as much of my blood as you want.”

“Whenever I want?” said Breezy, hopeful.

“Sure,” I said. “As long as you leave me some. I’ve already got enough problems with women wanting to suck me dry. Now can you turn the lights on please? It looks really dark in there.”

Glow Fae were vampiric by nature. But they were civil about it, most of the time. Mostly, they fed on small animals and throbbing blood plants. And their meal portion sizes amounted to a few thimble fulls a day, so that comment about her sucking me dry was just a jest. Occasionally, they’d go after a woman during her time of the month if they got into a clustered feeding frenzy during a Fae holiday or something, but that was rare.

“You sure you can’t just light a torch stick?” said Breezy. She already knew the answer to that. Her job was to light my way and use her elaborate world mapping abilities to help me locate hidden things and people. And listen to me babble on about succubi.

“No, Breeze, firelight won’t work in a suc’s lair. They’re all magically enchanted. As you know, I need magical light to see in magical darkness. So if you don’t mind.”

“Alright. Okay. Fine, just give me a minute. Jeez. I can’t just snap my fingers and start the glow, Jak, I have to ease it on.” Breezy buzzed over to a waist high boulder—my waist high—and sat atop with her knees up, legs spread. She wrenched her shoulders back and her beetle companion came off with a slurpy pop. The creature seemed a bit confused for a moment, scurrying around, before she grabbed it by its face—if you could call it a face—and shoved it into her crotch. Immediately, almost instinctively, the little guy knew what to do: buzz like hell. The little insect went wild, vibrating at a speed that would make a humming bird blush.

“Stop watching, Jak, you know I can’t ignite if you’re watching me. Plus, it’s creepy.”

“Sorry,” I said, turning around. For a moment I just stood there, humming to myself, twiddling my thumbs. I looked down at my muddy leather trousers. A nice wash would be in order after this. I looked up. It was just about mid-day now. Oh, look at that nice rock. That’s a nice bush over there. “You glowing yet?”

“Seriously?”

I cleared my throat and gazed out over the canopy of the vast forest I’d just spent three days trekking through. That’s where Breezy lived. I picked her up this morning from her tree colony, calling on a favor. We’d been friends for a long time, but she owed me one. And I’d come to collect.

I lived way over there at the base of that other mountain across the valley in a small, predominantly human town called Bell Whistle Hill. Well, not in the town, per say. On the outskirts. My curse made it hard to be around other people, particularly females. I worked as a librarian of sorts and had a passion for chronicling different cross species of sentient beings who were anatomically compatible, and—”

“Oh, yes. Yes, come on. A little to the left. There you go. Good. Good. Yes, you good boy. Almost there. Oh … oh … OH …”

I turned around to find Breezy with her back arched, her legs as erect as arrows, toes wiggling. She had one hand on her forehead, and the other in between her thighs. The beetle was vibrating so hard I thought it might pop.

“I said don’t look!” she screamed, red faced.

“Sorry!” I turned back around, cringing.

“Okay. Yes. Almost there. Come on. Come on. Oh. Oh. OH … OH FUCK YES! There we go! Aaaaah!”

There was a little flash of light behind me, followed by a muffled poof.

“Is it done?”

No response.

“Can I turn around now?”

Still no response.

“Breeze, are you o—”

“Yes, fine, Jak—jeez, you can’t wait two seconds? I was just … soaking in the moment. For the love of Mother Tree! You’re always in such a rush.”

I turned back around to find Breezy laying flat on her back, huffing and puffing. Her body was illuminated, bright enough to rival a hearth fire. She sat up, let out a shuddering sigh.

I looked at the beetle. It was probably just my imagination, but I got this sense, as it made its way back to its home between her shoulder blades, that it was very, very pleased with itself. A job well done and all that. Something in the way it swaggered. Or maybe it was just dizzy as shit. I couldn’t tell.

Breezy and beetle, now as one, buzzed up to eye level with me. I shielded my eyes, unable to look directly at her. “Remind me how long the glow lasts,” I said.

“About three hours, give or take.”

“Hopefully that will be enough. Are you ready?”

She shrugged. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

And with that, I straightened my vest, tied my hair behind my head, and headed in.