Home for the Holidays

Heading home for the holidays wasn’t always fun, however, this year was different. Fresh off my divorce from Tom, the kids were spending Christmas with their dad, and I was heading to my parent’s house as a single 40-year-old.Usually, this time of year I would be dealing with the stress of traveling with the kids and with him. They all hated leaving their sunny California Christmas, for a cold and snowy Idaho, but I always looked forward to the actual change of seasons.

As I drove in my rental car from the airport, I thought that something felt weird. I soon realized it was the silence in the car, which was refreshing. I looked out through the window of the car to take in the familiar sites, as the road whisked by at 60 miles per hour. Coming to this little town always made me feel like a kid again and it brought back so many memories of the holidays. The last three years my parents came to visit us in Northern California, but this time it was my turn to travel. Looking outside at the surroundings, it was starting to feel good to be back, a nice distraction from the chaos of the last nine months. I heard a vibration in my purse and reached over for my phone. I glanced at the caller ID and of course, saw it was my mom.

“Candance, did you land safely? Are you on your way?” my mom questioned.

“Hello, mom. I’m about thirty minutes away, it will be so great to see you,” I said with a new-found excitement in my voice. As I heard her speak, I had a sense of renewal inside of me. She always had a way to lift anyone up and her enthusiasm to see me was just what I needed.

“Just be careful the rest of the drive and we will see you soon. Love you, dear,” my mom said before hanging up the phone with me.

At last, I was pulling into town. My parents’ house was located just off the main street past the second intersection. I turned down their driveway and made my way up the hill to the garage. I parked the car, grabbed my bags, and headed inside.

“Aww sweetie, it is so good to see you,” my parents both exclaimed as they welcomed me inside. My dad helped grab my bags while mom showered me with kisses and hugs.

“You guys look great and thank you for letting me stay here for the holidays.”

“You know you are always welcome here dear. Your room is ready upstairs,” my mom explained. In years past, Tom and I would stay at a hotel with the kids, so we had more space. I headed up the steps and towards my old room.

I reached for the door, pausing for a moment, and then slowly turned the knob. After pushing it open, I walked in and started to look around in amazement. The room still hadn’t changed, instantly transporting me back in time. My parents still had all my stuff in there, everything in the same place. It was like walking back in time, through a time capsule of my college years. I walked into the room and set my bags down on the bed. Leisurely, I made my way around looking at the pictures on the dresser and the posters on the wall. Memories of the past flooded back in, as I continued to browse down memory lane.

I walked over to the vanity in the corner and stood there looking at myself in the mirror. My reflection peeking back at me was a bit of a shock. Looking back at me was a middle-aged woman, a little heavier than I was in college, lighter colored brown hair, and a few laugh lines around my plump lips. Two kids later and freshly divorced, I still thought I looked pretty good. Up in the corner of the mirror, there was a picture of two wide-eyed and pretty brunettes. It was me and Amy. We were best friends through high school and into college. She lived just outside of town, and we did our best to keep in touch. She and I made plans for tonight and I was eager to see her later at the local bar.

Since I was staying for two weeks, I started to unpack my clothes and hang things up in the closet, to get settled in. After traveling all day, I wanted to get cleaned up, so I went to my bathroom and turned on the shower. As I waited for the water to warm up, I stood naked next to the floor length mirror and admired the body I worked hard to keep in shape. It had been just over a year since Tom and I had sex since the start of our separation. We were together for almost fifteen years. As I looked in the mirror, I wondered if I would ever have the courage to have someone new see me naked again.

The tiny bathroom was starting to fill up with steam, so I jumped in and took my time rinsing off. The warm water soaked into my skin relaxing me to the core. After some time, I finally hopped out fighting the urge to stay in longer. I dried off and went to my room to get dressed. I slipped on some figure-hugging blue jeans, a black V-neck shirt showing just the right amount of cleavage and some heels. I grabbed my phone to see if I had any messages, and there was one message there from Amy.

Text from Amy: I will see you down at Roxanne’s at 8p. Looking forward to seeing you soon!

I sent her a quick message back telling her that I was on my way and excited to see her too.

I grabbed my coat and headed out the door. It was a Saturday night and my parents were out to Church and dinner as usual. They wanted me to join them, but I had already promised Amy we would meet up tonight. I must admit it was nice getting a break from the kids. I didn’t need to worry about a sitter or anything, I was free to go out with no issues. I hadn’t gone out in a long time, so tonight I was determined to have a great time. I wanted to forget parenting and focus on myself for once.