What is your opinion?
Review
"Each one shot had such potential. I wish each could be made into its own short story. The first one was a bit hard to follow, but the second one was amazing. I love how you captured the emotion. Great writing, and I cannot wait for more!"
Enjoyable but needs to be fleshed out
"I'd never really read one-shots before, so I wasn't sure what to expect, but I enjoyed both of them. I like the idea of just capturing and delivering a single moment to the reader and leaving the rest to their imagination. That must be very hard to do, packing so much into something so small. I was a little confused by the first one. At first, I thought that Eric was on the train with her, but then I realized that those were just flash-backs. It has a lot of potential, but I think that it needs to be fleshed out a little. The second one was clearer to me. I liked that it was very up-front and brief. I liked the emotions that you packed into it -- you could bring even more in if you wanted to! And I liked the argument that Sammie made to keep him from jumping. I would say that you might improve these by including more physical description. Since this is so short, it's hard to get a feel for character. I think that you might help the reader along by telling us what the characters look like, especially in the case of the boy that's preparing to jump. By showing us how broken and haggard he is, you can really show us how much agony the poor thing is in. These are really good, and they have a lot of potential! I would just try to flesh them out a little more. If you did this, I would be glad to read them again. Short fiction is really fun for me, and these are quite enjoyable. Great work!"
