What We Were

I felt like I could throw up from nerves.

Pleasant, I know.

I stood by my locker in the girl’s locker room at school, telling myself that I was going to be fine.

You know how to play soccer. Just do that. It’s not that hard.

But my hands were still shaking, and my stomach was doing flip-flops.

I looked down at my Apple watch, to see what time it was.

3:15 PM.

I had to be out in the gym for tryouts in 5 minutes. I walked up to one of the mirrors by the bathroom stalls and looked at my appearance. I had pulled my long, wavy dark hair into a ponytail, and I wore a black t-shirt and gray workout shorts. I had a new pair of cleats on. I was ready.

I decided to take out my phone and look at the tryouts’ email one more time- just to make sure they were actually today. My anxiety was getting the best of me, and I was starting to question everything. Including my sanity.

I read over the first few lines of the email until it stated:

The first round of tryouts will be held in the gymnasium, on September 28th, starting at 3:10 PM.

I felt a chill go down my spine

...3:10?

I swore it was 3:20 PM.

How could I be so fucking stupid? I immediately rushed out of the locker room and raced over to the gymnasium doors, which were slightly open. I could hear the team captains speaking about the tryouts.

I stood at the doors for a moment, debating whether I should leave.

It’s pointless now. You can try out when you’re a senior.

I was about to turn right around, but I stopped. Something inside was telling me to go to the tryouts.

You can do this. Just walk in, and take a seat. Don’t be such a pussy- for once.

I also didn’t want to picture the look on my mom’s face when I told her that I didn’t try out.

I took a deep breath, opened one of the gym doors slightly, and walked in.

Two girls, who I presumed were the co-captains of the team, were standing up front, talking. They both wore jerseys with our team logo, black shorts, black high socks, and cleats. One of them had blonde hair pulled into a low bun, and the other had long, black hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. She was taller than the blonde.

The blonde was speaking, but the dark-haired girl spotted me right away as I walked into the gymnasium- late.

She narrowed her eyes slightly at me and said to the blonde, “Jamie, hold on.”

Her attention then focused on me.

“Are you here for tryouts?”

Everyone turned around to look at me, and I immediately just wanted to crawl under a rock.

“Um, yes,” I stammered, “I apologize for being late.”

“Punctuality is very important,” she said back to me, “You expect me to let you try out when you’re showing up late?”

My heart was pounding, and my mouth went dry.

Yeah, this was a bad idea.

“I-I’m so sorry,” I said back, not knowing what else to say.

The blonde then cut in. She looked at me and said, “Hey, it’s okay. You can take a seat with everyone else. Just try to not be late again.”

Thank you.

“If there is a next time,” the other girl said, much to my horror. She then asked me, “What’s your name?”

“Allison,” I said back- and she looked at me and nodded.

I learned that the blonde was Jamie Morgan and the brunette, her name was Amber Myles. As I sat with the other girls who were trying out, I blinked back tears and swallowed back the lump in my throat. I felt embarrassed and humiliated by Amber, plus, my nerves were multiplying.

Somehow, though- those nerves worked in my favor once we were led out to the soccer field. The tryouts started with everyone lining up and simply running down the field. I found myself being one of the quickest out of the girls. We then had to do a drill, each with a ball, moving in between traffic cones that had been lined up for us.

During the next part of the tryout, which was everyone taking shots at the goal, I looked over to see Jamie and Amber on the sidelines, watching us.

Immediately, Amber looked my way. I met her gaze- and we both held it for a moment. Feeling my nerves start again, I looked down.

I made every goal. I found myself looking back over at Amber for a split second after we were finished, and once again, our eyes met.

She probably hates that I am not miserably failing at this tryout.

The last part of tryouts was passing drills up and down the field. As I kept doing well, I felt my confidence grow.

Tryouts lasted close to an hour, and finally, Amber called out to us, “Alright. The first round of tryouts is over.”

“Great job, girls,” Jamie called out, “We’ll be sending out an email with a list of those who made it through the first round.”

“That was brutal,” the girl was next to me mumbled.

I acknowledged her with a nod and then walked off the field. As I watched the others walk over to the side of the field, most of them picked up water bottles from the turf.

Fuck. I forgot mine.

As I kept walking off the field, I heard a voice say behind me, “Forget your water bottle?”

I turned around to see Amber walking toward me, holding two Deer Park water bottles. As she got closer to me, I found that my heart had started pounding again.

Is it because I am nervous, or because she’s actually really fucking hot?

As she got closer, I couldn’t help but notice her toned, tanned legs. I could see as she stood in front of me that she had hazel eyes with long lashes. She also had a silver hoop in her nose, and a slit in her eyebrow.

“I did forget my water bottle, yes,” I said to her, matching her tone.

She tossed the unopened one she had in her hand to me, and I caught it.

“Here,” she said, “I don’t want you passing out from dehydration or something.”

“Thanks,” I said back, “Even after showing up late?”

She rolled her eyes, but I could see a slight smile form on her face.

“You actually really impressed me out there, Allison,” she said, “I won’t lie.”

I looked at her, surprised she was actually complimenting me.

I then found myself saying, “Hopefully I’ll be seeing more of you- because I made the team, of course!”

Nice one.

Amber nodded, and once again met my gaze.

I hope I’m not the only one feeling...something...between us.

“I think you definitely will be seeing more of me,” she said back- and then she said, “See you later, Allison.”

As she walked off, I couldn’t help but turn around and watch for a second.

Now I really hoped that I would make the team.