Prologue
“Thank God I’m going to be done with this place,” I mutter to myself as I trudge back down from the stage, managing to flash a bright smile at my mom waving while my dad records me on his phone. My sister’s eyes meet mine knowingly, and I smile ruefully at her silent call-out of my crappy mood. At least the graduation ceremony is almost over. After Winslow, only Wolsey, Woodhaven, Ybarra, and finally Ziegmann remain. I've had the worst sinus headache the entire time from all the pollen in the air as well as from trying not to kill Will Wolsey, who is also apparently dealing with allergies and has been sniffling loudly and disgustingly every couple of minutes. Ugh.
I didn’t want to walk for my high school graduation, but my parents insisted I would regret it if I didn’t go and celebrate with my friends. It was harder to admit that I didn't have real friends than it was to appease them. I also had a vague sense of guilt from knowing I would be living two states away from them starting next week.
I sit back down in my assigned folding chair in a huff and try to distract myself with thoughts of my new life in Colorado. Maybe they don’t have as much pollen there as we do in the Midwest? A girl can dream. I glance at the row ahead of me where I catch a glimpse of Kieran Thatcher. I can see his gorgeous profile as he laughs with his friend next to him. Even when I had dated my loser boyfriend Matt for a year, I still crushed on Kieran in secret. I doubt he even knows my name, though. I tried to muster up the courage to talk to him a few times over the years, but he never really noticed me. Guys like him date the homecoming queen, not the first female president of FBLA in the school's history. Okay, to be fair, his girlfriend of three years was not just the homecoming queen and a cheerleader, but also a star mathlete. Ugh, whatever.
"Congratulations!" the vice-principal calls out, and mortarboards fly into the air. I guess I missed Beau Ziegmann crossing the stage, too lost in my own thoughts. Now I manage a real smile, one of relief at finally being done.
***
Letting the murmur of my parents’ conversation in the front of our old family Subaru wash over me like so much white noise, I stare out the window at the endless fields of wheat and think about what life will be like living in the mountains. I had been there once to visit the campus and to interview for my internship, and I remember being awed by the feeling. Missouri wasn’t totally flat, but it had nothing like the Rockies.
“Earth to Sam!” my mom calls cheerfully from the passenger seat. I look over at her and realize that definitely hadn’t been the first time she called my name.
“There she is. How are ya feeling, cupcake? Nervous? Excited? Carsick?” She laughs at her own joke. I do take after her weird sense of humor, even though I look exactly like my dad. Light green eyes, heart-shaped face, and sleek dark hair. My mom is gorgeous, a natural redhead with dark green eyes sparkling with mischief. I did inherit her long legs and generous tits, though. Thanks, Mom!
“I’m okay, I guess,” I say in response, leaning forward to grab a Diet Coke from the cooler.
“Well, remember to just be yourself and let your amazing natural Sam-ness come through. They will all love you,” she says earnestly, giving me a warm smile.
I snort, then realize she’s fully serious. To be fair, I hadn’t ever really told her about the extent of my social pariah status at school. Maybe pariah is a strong word. It’s not that anyone hated me per se, but I was definitely quite friendless. I truly didn’t fit in, drifting from group to group in an effort to find someone who could get me. I heave a sigh, thinking back on my many attempts.
"That good, huh?" she smirks, then softens. "Sam, you're gonna do great. College is a whole different ball game, and you're excited about this internship, right?" She looks at me expectantly.
"I am excited about the internship, yeah," I say, giving her a small smile. It will be great, I hope. It's a small advertising firm in the same town as my school, so hopefully I'll be able to keep a relationship with them throughout college, maybe even a part-time job.
“Good. I know you'll figure it all out,” she says, smiling reassuringly at me. She turns to my dad, and they resume their conversation.
***
Freshly armed with a successful first internship under my proverbial belt, I arrive at my new dorm determined to create good first impressions, particularly with my roommate. I hope we can be good friends. I had been staying with some family friends of ours during the internship, and they had been kind enough to help me move onto campus.
"Welcome, I'm Sheila, your new RA!" a cheery-faced blonde girl wearing a visor and carrying a clipboard says to me. "Name?"
I stare at her blankly for a moment, then realize she was asking for my name. "Uh, Winslow. Sam Winslow."
She taps the end of her pencil to her lip, searching. "Ah! Are you by any chance Clover Samantha Winslow?" She looks up at me, expectant.
I smile self-consciously, slouching a bit and tucking my hair behind my ear. "Um, yes, but I go by Sam. Usually."
"Right, duly noted!" Sheila chirps, marking something down. "Your roommate actually just checked in a little while ago, you guys are in 303. You can take one of these carts to your parents' car and start moving in," she says, indicating the big rolling bins gathered behind her. She hands me a lanyard with my room key on it and a folder with information.
"Okay, thank you," I say, not feeling like explaining that my parents weren't the ones here with me. They had offered to come out, but I felt bad having them make the trip again. They are honestly so busy this time of year anyway since they are teachers. Both middle school, bless them.
I go back to Charlie and Simone with a cart, and they start helping me load it. Once I feel like it's full enough for a first load, Charlie helps me roll it into the building. Simone stays in the car, content to read her latest romance novel while her wife helps me with all the heavy lifting.
We make it past the bustle of all the other new students moving in, narrowly avoiding a mishap with a gangly-looking redheaded boy who had overloaded his cart. I give him what I think is a kind look, but he blushes in embarrassment and scurries away. Finally in front of 303, I take my key that has been dangling around my neck and insert it in the lock. It's a bit old-fashioned, but Beverly College is a small, prestigious liberal arts school that takes pride in being quirky. That, or they didn't feel like shelling out for a fancy new keycard system.
The lights are off, which is strange considering that Sheila said they had just checked in. I flick them on, and I immediately regret it.
"Oh my God!!" I scream simultaneously with my new roomie. Well, she moaned it, more like. I slam the door shut behind me, mortified. Charlie, who is just arriving with my first cartful of belongings, looks at me curiously. I look to the heavens for guidance.
"I think my new roommate, uh..." I trail off. Charlie's face becomes more confused.
"Is something wrong, hon?" she asks, cocking a well-groomed eyebrow.
"It's just um, she's in there and.."
"Oh great, let's say hello!" she says, reaching for the door handle where my key is still inserted in the lock. "You've got to get over your shyness, lady! College is all about new experiences—oh my God, sorry, sorry," she says, backing out and shutting the door again upon seeing my naked roommate and the guy she's apparently still hooking up with.
She turns to me, her eyes wide with horror. Then she shakes her head, collecting herself. "You know what, that is highly inappropriate. We need to march down to that peppy girl who checked you in and let her know what kind of nonsense is happening here." Her mind made up, she moves past me to do so.
"No, wait!" I put my hand on her arm to stop her. She looks at me, nonplussed. I sigh. "Look, I don't want her to hate me right out of the gate. I was really hoping this would be different from high school..." I trail off. I hadn't meant to say that part out loud.
She looks at me with pity, and I squirm a bit at the feeling. This is why I never told my parents the full truth, feeding them bits and pieces to create something to appease them. I never wanted to see that look in their eyes.
"Fine, have it your way," she shrugs. "But I am not waiting around all day for Miss Thing to, uh, finish." She pauses for a moment, waggling her eyebrows and lightly elbowing me. I roll my eyes. "I'm going to knock. There's no way she doesn't know you're here. It's already incredibly rude of her to be carrying on like that on move-in day, but it's wild to me that she hasn't been bothered to get dressed and come out to apologize." She turns and knocks on the door before I can utter a word.
A bored-looking bottle blonde with dark roots cracks open the door, covered only by a towel wrapped loosely around her frame. "Can I help you?" she drawls, obviously annoyed at the interruption. I open my mouth, but no sound comes out.
Seeing that I am not going to speak, Charlie swoops in. "Hi, this is your new roommate, Sam. She's got her first cartload of stuff here," she says, gesturing back, "and she needs to move in."
Finally finding my voice, I manage to squeak out, "Hi, what's your name?"
She looks me up and down, obviously unimpressed with my choice of overall shorts and floral Keds. I flush with embarrassment even though she's the one answering the door to our shared room in only a small towel. "Courtney. You're in luck, I was just on my way to the shower. Come on, babe," she calls to the guy, who is now mercifully also clad in a towel. His hairy butt cheeks will haunt me for a long time. She brushes past me and whispers in my ear, "And now I know you're a giant perv. Who walks in without knocking?" She smirks at me over her shoulder as her boyfriend joins her, and I know this year will be rough. I sigh and begin to move my stuff in to my side. So much for a fresh start here.
