Here I Am
Here I am getting ready to walk my daughter down the aisle where I am expected to give her away. I like the man she is marrying, but I’m not sure if I am ready to give her away just yet. I can’t believe it has been fourteen years already. It’s strange how the worst day of your life can become the best day of your life in a single moment, without you even knowing it.
It was the one-year anniversary of the day I lost my wife to cancer. I got home from work late as usual. I put the kettle on to heat some water to make a cup of noddle. I can’t lie, I had been drinking most of the day and was in a foul mood. The more I drank, the more I felt sorry for myself. The kettle started to whistle so I told my friend Captain Morgan I would be right back. As I turned off the kettle and filled the cup of noodles with the hot water, I heard a loud noise outside my garage. “For the love of God, can’t a man eat a cup of noodle in peace anymore!” I yelled at the closed window facing the backyard. “You go out there and see what it was!” I told the bottle of Captain Morgan. There it was again, even louder this time. “OK! OK! I’LL GO!” I yelled at the bottle on the table. “Should I take the gun?” I asked the bottle. “You’re right, I better not, it might just be the neighbor’s cat again. With the flashlight in hand, I stumbled down the walkway towards my garage. “Show yourself!” I ordered. There was nothing there. I shone the light into the window of the garage and checked to see if the doors were locked before I started to go back up to the house. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something jump from off the roof of the garage and on to my back. Without thinking I grabbed it and flung it into the fence. It hit the fence with a hard thud, then just lay there in a curled-up ball. Now at this age, and in my condition, I knew I wasn’t outrunning anything, so I got ready to fight whatever it was. I waited a second, then gave it a hard kick. All I heard was a moan, then crying. This wasn’t an animal; it was a very small person. “Holy shit! What have I done!” I thought to myself as I bent down to see how badly I hurt them. When I reached down to help them up, they lunged at me and tried to bite my neck or shoulder. Once again, I backhanded them, and they bounced off the fence and ended up back on the ground in a ball in front of me. “Try that shit again and see what happens!” I yelled at them. “Now I’m gonna bend down and see how bad you’re hurt; do you understand me?” I said to the person on the ground crying. A small squeak of a yes could be heard. As I shone the light on them, I realized this was a small girl, maybe about twelve years old or so. There was blood running down her check from a cut right under her left eye. “Holy Jesus!” I yelled “I got to get you into the house to clean you up!” I yelled again. With that I picked her up and rushed her into the house. In the light of the kitchen, I could see the cut. I grabbed a dish rag and put cold water on it. I went back over to the girl to clean the cut. “This is going to hurt a bit.” I said to her. I placed the rag on the cut and the small girl screamed and tried to bury her head into my chest. “Oh no you don’t!” I said to her, “You tried that shit outside, now hold still!” I said in a firm voice. She did as she was told while I cleaned up her face. "You hungry?” as I handed her my cup of noodle. She stared as she took the cup. She waited a second for me to give her a fork. “You can eat that shit with your hands, I can’t trust you with anything sharp, now, can I?” I said to her. As she ate the noodles, I sat next to her and poured myself another drink. “Captain Morgan for dinner I guess.” I said as I took a big drink. “Where do you live?” I said. No response. “Where is your family. I said again. No response. “OK! after you eat it’s back outside in the dark with you!” I said as I took another drink. The small girl’s eyes swelled up with tears before she spoke.
“I have no one…I’m all alone…” she said with a whimper and a sniffle.
“That’s makes two of us.” I said back.
“I’m sorry I tried to bite you…I won’t do it again…I promise. “She said in a small whimpery voice. “Just don’t make me go back out there in the dark!” she sobbed into her hands, snot running down her face.
“OK! You can stay here tonight, just stop all that crying, your tears are going to ruin my table.” I said to her. I showed her to the bathroom, gave her something to wear and a new toothbrush and told her to clean herself up. Once she was finished, I put her in the guest room and told her to go to sleep. “And if you try anything, I just want you to know I sleep with a gun and would love to be able to shoot a small girl. It’s been on my bucket list for a long time…” I said to her as I shut the door. And that’s how our first night went.
