Dog Falls

Moira

I wake up numb. No feeling. No thoughts. Nothing. Just going through the motions and trying my hardest not to crawl back into bed and hibernate. I trudge to the kitchen, filling up the kettle and flick the switch. Glancing down at the sink I see all the dishes I’ve had no motivation to clean and marvel at the fact that I’ve found a clean mug.

“Moira!?” It’s Anna, my best friend and I honestly cannot be arsed with any interaction. Maybe if I ignore her?

“MOIRA!! I can hear the kettle!”. I glower at the door and curse at the noisy kettle whilst opening the locks to my wee flat. “Oh sweetie!” Anna looks at me and sighs dramatically. “You look like shit!”.

“Yes, thank you, Anna! I had absolutely no idea!”.

Anna dramatically waves her hands around my face “This…..this isn’t the Moira I know! I don’t like this….at all!”. I slump into my armchair and groan with the effort. Anna has what we’re told to call an international accent, meaning she went to private school and sounds posh. Me on the other hand? I definitely have a local working class accent.

I have a one bedrom flat with an open plan kitchen and living room, near the Royal Mile in Edinburgh. It has served me well through my university days and had been the home of many a student party much to my neighbours disgust. That’s how I met Anna.

I just look at her. She’s always so put together even on her worst day. Anna begins to take over tea making duties, flinging her long blonde hair into a messy bun and making a face at the dishes in the sink. We are both twenty-eight and Anna is absolutely gorgeous, with big blue eyes, tanned skin, a tall slender frame and curves in all the right places. If that wasn’t enough, she has killer dimples and a confidence most could only wish for.

“O.K., here’s your tea but let me warn you, the milk is questionable.”. Anna flounces into the chair opposite and looks expectantly at me. I make a show of drinking and smile.

“It tastes like shit but thankyou!” I laugh. That’s the first geniune laugh I have had in a while.

“I’ll not ask how you are, Moira but you are in dire need of a reset!”

“And how do you suppose I do that?”. I can’t help but roll my eyes. “I have no job, no money and thanks to that utter slag, I have no boyfriend!”

I worked at a small publishing house in the city. I had started on a placement with university and the company offered me a permanent position when I graduated. My ex, Jared was my boss and two months ago I found out he was shagging his p.a. We had been together for four years and I was devastated. Rather than face going back to work and see those two arseholes on a daily basis, I did the most reasonable and mature thing i could think of. I sent the whole office copies of their sexting (including pictures) along with my resignation, and ran away like a child.

“That is why I am taking you on holiday! My treat!” Anna looks pleased with herself and I immediately start thinking of how good it would be to have the sun on my face, with sea breezes ridding me of all my negativity.

“Really?” I feel like I could cry.

“Really. I need inspiration for my next book and you need a refresh! You go pack six weeks worth of clothing! I need to fill the car up with petrol”.

I’m so excited and squeal. This is the most emotion I’ve felt in such a long time which makes me pause. Have I honestly got so used to being miserable that I’m scolding myself for being happy? Anna heads out and leaves me to it.

I head to the bedroom to pack and start grabbing dresses, skirts, tops, sandals and bikinis when I catch sight of myself in the mirror and stop. I look absolutely ghastly. My dark auburn hair is flat and lifeless. My light blue eyes are sunken and puffy at the same time. I think I’ve lost weight and I wasn’t exactly fat in the first place. I can’t even see my freckles but living as a hermit for two months will do that, I suppose. I look sickly white but I wont have time to apply fake tan. I opt for a shower to try and bring back a sense of myself and start to feel really good about this trip.

I walk out of the bathroom, tying my hair into a pony and find Anna hovering over my suitcase looking a bit perplexed. “Anna?”

“Um, look…. The thing is….”

“Do NOT tell me you’ve changed your mind!”

“No!”

“Thank fuck! You had me scared!” I let out a nervous sigh and visibly relax.

“This is more of a staycation”. I nod to myself. I can do that.

“Ah, so where to? London? Manchester? Cornwall? Oh, please say Cornwall, I’ve never been!” I start taking out some of the lighter weight items I’ve packed.

“Glen Affric, up north.”. Anna takes a deep breath and continues. “Maybe I should have been clearer. I have writers block and you my friend, need to get away from all of this! I thought the solitude in the highlands would help us clear our minds.”

If my geography is right, it really is in the middle of nowhere. I’ll probably get eaten alive by midges, which is always a joy. I can’t help but be a little disappointed. I mean, we aren’t even leaving the country! There will be no chance of having a steamy rebound fling with some random. I sigh and start putting my cosy jumpers in my case, mentally slapping myself for being a self-absorbed cow.

“Thank you, Anna! I’m sure…… no, I’m positive this trip will be exactly what we both need!”.

“I think so too! Take some books. It’s just a small house and the internet connection is intermittent apparently!”. I nod and look through the bookcase. Anna is always thinking of these things that I wouldn’t.

“Might as well throw in your vibrator too!” And with a wink she floats out of the bedroom.