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After supper, we thank Sam’s parents for the wonderful meal. I lost count of how many times we’ve assured them we’ll be alright. I got this. I know just what to do. With some convincing, Eva is now sitting with me in my living room, cuddling me for comfort. Her father throwing her out of the house has really hurt her. In her shoes, I don’t know what I would do if my parents had refused my transition. Their acceptance of my wanting to be a girl has strengthened our bond. It could be my imagination, but I think I’m closer to my parents than she is with hers. She seems to hold a stronger bond with her grandmother. Popo means the world to her.
“What do I do now? Where do I go?” Eva whimpers as we listen to some music. “I can’t stay with Popo. Dad will give her a hard time for taking my side… I don’t want to break up my family even more.”
“The spare bedroom has been yours more than once now, Dear,” I remind her. “I would really like a roommate. Someone I know I can trust.”
“Are you sure it will be alright for me to move in?” She looks up at me. Her expression is so vulnerable. It’s breaking my heart seeing her so upset like this.
“Darling, you will always be welcome here. You know that,” I return affectionately, hoping to brighten her mood.
Eva’s face softens. “We’re not officially dating, and you’re already calling me ‘Darling’.” She blushes bashfully, leaning into my shoulder.
“Would you like to be officially dating, Eva?” I probe, caressing her hair again. My fingers run through the curly tangle. A small part of me worries I’ll catch a knot and pull uncomfortably.
“You want to be my girlfriend?” Eva pulls back, looking into my eyes.
“I would love to be your girlfriend,” I return with an affectionate smile.
“Thank you!” she beams, kissing me. She backs away, and her fingers graze my cheek, then touch my lips. “Your lips are so soft…”
“And they’ve only ever felt your touch,” I return fondly.
“You’re going to spoil me,” she purrs, a smile growing on those succulent lips. I just love her kisses.
“You deserve to be spoiled,” I return.
We just look into each other’s eyes. I could get lost in those jade orbs that are searching deep into my soul. “Your eyes are such an amazing blue,” she breathes.
“Kiss me?” I whimper.
She smirks. Not breaking eye contact, like I’ll disappear if we do. She shifts position, straddling my lap. I sigh and relax as I feel her arms slide along my shoulders and wrap around my neck. She searches my eyes once more for permission. I nod ever so slightly and close my eyes. I whimper when her lips touch mine.
I don’t know how long we just sat there on the couch, making out. Time has lost all reference in Eva’s embrace. My crotch is getting uncomfortable, my breasts are aching, and I want some form of release. I don’t want to push Eva, though; I don’t want to demand that her lips kiss more than mine. I hesitate from wanting to kiss her all over. I just want her so badly right now, but I’m afraid I’ll break this new fragile bond if I try to do more. My hands haven’t been idle, as I run my fingers all over her back, kneading those firm muscles as I pull her against me. I’ve felt her pull back more than once when I push up against her, so I’ve not tried to touch what I’m craving. There is plenty of time to take this newfound love further. No rushing things. Take your time.
It’s taken Eva two months to admit she loves me, I don’t want to push her too far. As the butch in our relationship, I need her to lead, wait for her to initiate where this will go. I need to quell the fire of my passion to not scare her off.
When we finally break from our tongue battle, Eva cuddles against me again. She takes a deep breath and settles into me. “I could really learn to enjoy this,” she swoons. “Now I know what Sam loves so much about having a girlfriend.” She looks up at me. “You’re so soft, so gentle, you’re not pushing me at all to do more.”
“I want you to want this as much as I do,” I swallow, admitting to my need. Deep breath, don’t push her, don’t frighten her.
“Let me get used to the concept of loving a girl?” Eva returns in a vulnerable tone.
“Absolutely, Darling,” I smile, caressing her hair. “Our friendship matters more than anything,” I assure her.
“Thank you,” she sighs and leans against me again. She chuckles. “I’m the butch, yet I feel so vulnerable right now. In your arms, I feel like nothing in the world could hurt me.”
I will never let anyone hurt you again. “Well, I am taller, it makes it easier for you to cuddle me,” I tease playfully, leaving her to giggle.
“I’m the little spoon,” she peeps, and we both giggle at her comment.
She takes a deep breath and sighs as she settles into me more. She glances out the window and is quiet for a moment. I merely run my fingers through those tight curls, marvelling at how her hair feels both soft and coarse at the same time.
“What will we tell people at school tomorrow?” Eva ponders aloud.
“Besides that we’re now roommates?” I raise an eyebrow. “We already spend so much time together,” I remind her.
“But if we hold hands… If I want to kiss you…” she muses.
“I will not hold my love back for you if you don’t,” I assure her.
“Openly loving another girl doesn’t bother you?” she blinks, looking for an answer.
“Most people at school figure I’m bisexual, as the Ginas keep hitting on me,” I return. “This will just confirm what they thought all along.”
“Oh. I guess that makes sense,” she sighs.
“You’re worried that people will accuse you of lying to them finally admitting you love a girl?” I caress her neck as I draw a new strand of hair.
She sighs at my touch. “Yes, I am,” she chews her lower lip in worry.
“People won’t tease you, Eva,” I assure her.
“What makes you think they won’t tease me?” she argues.
“You are the strongest girl in class, most people are afraid of you,” I note.
“They are?” Eva blinks.
“Outside of our friends who have learned you have a big heart? Yes,” I nod.
“Oh,” she pouts slightly as she cuddles back into me. She is so adorable, I love this girl so much. “How will we make this work?” she ponders again. I’m quiet. “Financially, that is.”
“Eva, Darling, I don’t need you to pay me to live here,” I return.
“I will not just mooch off of my girlfriend,” she returns adamantly. I giggle. The term girlfriend comes out so easily for her. “I want to contribute to our living together.” I’m still quiet. “I work, I can pay you.”
“Alright,” I concede. She won’t let this topic go. “But no more than half of what you take home, and you’re not to pick up extra shifts just because you’re living here.”
“But…” she starts.
“Eva, you know I don’t need your money. My family is well off,” I remind her. “Yes, you can contribute to living here, but I don’t want you working more than you do now because of that.” I see her building an argument. “Think of it as saving up for college if you don’t manage to earn a bursary. You don’t want to deal with student loans if you don’t have to.”
“You’re right,” she sighs and leans back into me. “Thank you for understanding. “She’s quiet for a few moments as I continue to stroke her hair. She seems to love it. “I still need to buy some things,” she notes.
“Oh?” I give in.
“I only have a weekend worth of clothing. I have two or three more outfits at Popo’s place, but everything I own is still at home,” she whimpers.
“You don’t think your parents would throw it all out do you?” I worry about where this is leading.
“My sister has texted me that Mom won’t let him,” Eva returns.
“Do you think she can start sneaking some of it out?” I suggest.
“We could try, but large things like my computer and furniture won’t be possible,” she muses.
“The spare room is fully furnished, you don’t need to worry about furniture,” I assure her.
“Yes, thank you for that,” she smiles, reaches up and caresses my cheek.
“I’ll get you a computer, whatever you like,” I offer.
“What?” Eva turns in my arms and leans away from me.
“On loan or you can pay me back, you’re choice,” I raise my hands. “Let me help you, Darling.”
That word seems to break her defence, and she settles back into me. “Alright,” she concedes. We’re quiet for a few moments. “If I didn’t know any better, I swear you’ll spoil me rotten,” she huffs with a smirk.
“I will absolutely spoil my beautiful girlfriend,” I admit affectionately. I can feel her blushing. “Ask anything you want and it is yours, Darling.”
“Are you really that rich?” she blinks.
“Yes.”
“Alright,” she gives in. “The first thing we need to do is get you a TV,” she proclaims.
“Get us a TV,” I correct her.
“You’re serious?” Eva glances up at me.
“We’re roommates now, this is your home too,” I nod.
“Thank you,” she smiles, turns and kisses the underside of my chin before snuggling back into me. The motion has left that spot all tingly, and sending a shiver down my spine. How is it that girls keep finding that spot?
“Can… Can I sleep with you tonight?” Eva peeps in a vulnerable tone. Before I can answer. “Not intimate, I just want someone to hold me.”
“Like that night of the thunderstorm?” I return softly.
“Yes!” she smiles as I catch on that she’s looking for comfort, not sex. I wonder how many people know Eva’s vulnerable side? She’s so fragile. Nothing like the tough exterior she usually shows everyone else.
“Sure,” I smile. “Speaking of which, it’s been a long emotionally draining weekend, we should think of going to bed soon.”
“Can I use the washroom first?” Eva peeps. I nod. “Okay, I won’t be long. She slides out of my lap, turns and kisses me. “I could get used to this,” she returns bashfully.
As she bounces off to grab her backpack and the overnight bag she brought with her, I sigh.
What felt like such a good idea could have serious implications. What am I getting myself into? Eva knows nothing about my secrets, and I’ve offered to have her live with me! How long can I hold off telling her the truth as to who and what I really am? Do I want to hide anything from her? Daddy said relationships are based on trust. I need to trust she won’t freak out when she discovers one of the numerous secrets I’ve kept hidden so far.
The biggest question is: what should I tell her first? That I wasn’t born female. Would finding out the girl she loves has a surprise between her legs shatter this fragile new relationship? Or would learning that magic really exists… That I live in a world completely beside her own. A world of mysticism, belief, and conjuration. A world filled with creatures of myth and legend that most pass off as fantastical. That world, my world, is real, not make believe. I need to talk to my parents.
