01||~Esme.
01||~ Esme.
~~~~
I grip my bag tightly, gaze fixed on the road as my teeth chatter against the other.
" Are you sure he will come?" Layla, my best friend asks, her state not better than mine.
" He will." My voice is barely above a whisper as I fish out my phone from my bag and dial my husband's line for the ninth time tonight.
He doesn't pick.
My heart sinks. Further worsening the nausea I have been dealing with all day.
Layla pulls her black jacket closer, cheeks flushed. " Did he really tell you to wait for him today?"
The chilly air bites into my skin, bringing with it the smell of different perfumes.
I check the last test he sent me. *TODAY IS XYLA'S BIG DAY, DON'T BE LATE.* it reads.
He was the one who asked me to wait after my shift, so that he will come pick me up, but now...
"He did." I mutter, gaze scanning the street one more time. Why is he taking so long? " Maybe I should try calling him once again."
She shakes her head. "There's no use, since he's not picking up, then that means he's not coming. Let's catch a ride home."
I bite my lips, hesitant. "But..."
" He did this yesterday and the day before that. We both know he won't come." Layla cuts in. I flinch at the brutal word.
Her eyes softens. "I am sorry. I shouldn't have said that." A sigh slips out of her. " I just really can't wait any longer, it's already past midnight and it's freezing out here. If we keep waiting for him, we might both freeze to death."
Cold hands grip my bag tightly as my stomach lurches with self loathing. This is my problem, how could I let her suffer with me?
Ajax has developed a rough temper recently. He barely even smiles around me anymore.
If he comes and doesn't find me here, he will get mad.
My throat tightens at the thought. " It's okay. You can go on, I will wait for him here."
Layla frowns, eyes skimming through the area. " I know you trust him, but I can't let you stay here alone. It's dangerous, and you are also pregnant, what if something happens to you?"
" But..."
" No buts." She grabs my hand, already dragging me towards the road before I can protest.
Teeth chattering, she stretches out her hand, swinging it in front of an incoming car.
The driver stops, cocking his head to the side as his gaze rakes over us. "Where to?"
" Rowe estate." She instructs, yanking the door open. My gaze lingers on the shelter we have been standing beneath for the past few hours, a terrible feeling brewing inside me.
Can I afford to go back home? If I stay here for a few more hours, will Ajax even notice I am not home yet?
" What are you still doing there?" Layla's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
Think of the baby, Esme. I tell myself. Ajax can wait, but the baby can't. With this resolve, I slip into the car.
As the car roars to life, I send a quick text to him. *YOU DON'T NEED TO PICK ME UP, I AM ALREADY ON MY WAY*
With that done, my lungs empties slowly as I tilt my head back against the wall. He shouldn't be angry after this.
"You need to do something about this." Layla blurts out.
"About what?"
"Ajax. He had been acting like a total asshole for the past three months. I mean, why the hell would he leave you here without caring? Also, why did he bring that woman into your house for no fucking reason?."
Her words are like daggers, piercing through my insides.
I wish she was wrong, but she isn't.
The Ajax I have lived with for three years is different from the one I have come to know these past three months.
His eyes are completely devoid of the warmth I am used to. The distance between us has grown so much that I sometimes wonder if I am living with a stranger.
The man who used to care for my every need now abandons me in the middle of nowhere without a care for how I will return home.
The Ajax who spent every night curled up with me in bed telling me how his day went, now doesn't touch me.
He rarely even comes home.
Everytime I ask about it, his reply is always the same. " Do I need to report everything I do to you? You are my wife, not my Mom."
" He doesn't love you anymore, no one does. You will end up dying alone with no one to care for you." A horrible voice whispers in my head and something twists painfully in my chest.
Is the voice right?
Am I really about to lose the only person who made me feel wanted?
I rest a hand on my slightly swollen belly. " Maybe if I tell him about our baby, he won't be so distant anymore." The supposedly comforting word sounds bitter in my ears.
Yet, I cling desperately to this thought.
When I found out about my baby two months ago, I was thrilled, thinking a baby would liven things up for us.
However, it was that same day that he brought Xyla home.
Layla presses her lips in a thin line. " If he treats you this way now, how do you think he will treat your child? Besides, using a child as a bargain won't make a man stay. If anything, you might end up suffering in the end. "
I tear my gaze away from her eyes, humiliation crawling beneath my skin. Have I gotten so desperate that I would even use my child as a bargain?
Just then, the driver pulls over at the front of the estate.
Without waiting for her next words, I pull the door open, shivering when the cold night hair hits me. " Esme..." Layla begins, but I cut her off.
"See you tomorrow." I say, already making my way towards the house, a heavy uneasiness settled in my lower belly.
As always, the air smells of lavender, pulling me into the memories we had before everything changed.
When Ajax found out that I loved lavenders, he had personally planted the seeds and nurtured them until they grew. He said his mother had once been a garden maid, before she gave birth to him.
They hadn't spent much time together when she was alive, because his parents divorced, but on lucky days, he would sneak to her house and she would teach him how to plant and nurture flowers.
My gaze lingers on the purple buds for a second too long before I look away.
Sighing, I hasten my steps. Ajax appears right before me the moment I pull the door open. Gasping, I step back halfway, breath stalling somewhere in my throat.
" A-Ajax. You are home." I stutter, carving my chest out at the confirmation.
So, leaving me there was a deliberate action.
He scrutinizes me, lips pressed in a thin line. "Did something happen at the hospital? Why are you so late?" His voice is soft as he shrugs off his suit and drapes it around me.
Brow knitted, I examine him. Why does he seem so different today?
Warm hands cover my cold ones, brows snapping together as he rubs it together."Why are your hands so cold?" Without waiting for a response, Ajax blows hot air on my hand, the action pulling us closer.
My cheeks burn like it always does when he cares for me.
His warm scented perfume settles the storm within me as he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ears.
He hasn't worn this perfume in the last three months, what changed today? " It's snowing so heavily outside, why are you just coming back at this time?"
I frown. " You told me to wait for you, that you will come pick me up, have you forgotten?"
His brow furrows. "Me? When-"
"Axel, I need you to help me pick up that-" My head snaps to the direction of the voice and my whole body freezes.
Standing just a few feet away from us is another face that looks exactly like Ajax's.
However, unlike the bright, soft expression of the man before me, he is shrouded in gloom.
My heart does a sharp thump.
Axel?
Slowly, my gaze locks with the man before me, he has an arm wrapped around me, while his other hand is on my hair.
An intimate position that can be interpreted into anything. Gasping, I tear myself away from him.
Despite that, it is too late. Ajax has already seen us.
My stomach drops so sharp, it hurts.
Oh no!
How do I explain to him that I mistook his twin brother for him?
Again.
~P-Lia~
