I live you for you | sequel to I burn for you

The book starts 2 months after Shanaya left Chiraag

1st January 2026

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Dr. Yahzaad asked me to maintain a memory dump journal everytime I got a flashback. I have stopped any medicines whatsoever and just focussed on meditation and trauma focussed Cognitive Behavioural therapy but at 12 weeks of pregnancy we are moving slower than intended.

He told me everytime a memory came back, I should write it down and once it gets heavy I close the diary..

Here's a memory that came like a dream.

I had no idea how I had landed up here but it was not my father's Alibaug mansion— it was a government quarter at South Bombay. The namplate read

Devendra Chaudhary

Chief Secretary of State, IAS

I was not bleeding..not yet but my hands were stained..it took me sometime to realise that it was Akash's blood.

"Dad..please.." I bellowed, my breathing stalled in my mouth. "Please Akash ko chor do..please punish me..please he even doesn't have parents.."

He threw me a cold, apathetic look. He was a strict father but as a only child I was always a Daddy's girl..but the indifference in his eyes as he muttered—

"Take her upstairs..if she is unwilling, pull her by her hair.."

I felt too weak in my knees even at the memory of this. I remember Mom rushing by immediately to get a hold of me.. By then my soft sobs had taken the form of howls of an animal about to be slaughtered.

"Mom please Akash..please save Akash..don't kill him, I will die"

"Akash..Akash" Her delicate motherly voice was a snide one now. "Who the fuck is the lowlying bastard, Dev?"

"This..." My father spat. "This is what happens when you give too much freedom to your daughter"

"I gave her freedom?She followed you to that cheapass bar where you are sleeping along with filthy whores.."

"Stop.." I fell to my knees. Pleading softly.

"Watch your words.." My father snarled.

"And why did you let her go to those places?"

"Was it not your responsibility to see where your only daughter..You didn't have a son..."

"Shut the fuck up Devendra...I am sure if you have had the time to sleep with your wife instead of spreading along your spawns.."

I closed my ears.."Stop. Stop. Akash."

The memory of their domestic brutality so toxic that it burns a hole in my heart right at the memory.

The 'lowlying' boy from the bar called an auto for me the first time I saw him at the bar. I read that in Akash's first letter..

My parents never cared where I was, how I was..every night I journaled in bed that my marriage would never look like this.

My house won't be filled with lies, cheatings and filthy words about sex life.

A house help literally carried me upstairs. I was 15, convulsing, crying too hard yet my parents didn't listen..

Akash used to ask "why do you spend so much on me?"

I just smiled back then, how could I tell him that he needn't run away from me just because his shoes were dirty and that— he was closest thing I had to a home.

Hours later, my mother came upstairs. As if checking whether the product still functioned.

Mama's expression softened for a brief second, as though she genuinely pitied me.

"You are fifteen," she said quietly. "You don't understand these things."

"I understand enough."

"No, you don't."

"I do!"

"You are confusing childish attachment for love."

The statement made me laugh then. Writing it now makes my chest ache and tighten.. ''You don't get to talk to me about love and marriage, especially with your own shitty marriage''

Her mouth went agape. Probably she thought I was too young to see the cracks in their marriage. ''You are fifteen..''

''Yet I found the kind of love you would never..''

"You think this is attachment?"

Mama sighed patiently, the way mothers do when they think their child is throwing a tantrum.

"You've lived your entire life like a princess, Shanaya."

"I don't want to be a princess."

"You deserve someone worthy of you."

"I already found someone worthy."

She closed her eyes briefly."That boy isn't your future."

"He is."

"He has nothing."

"He has me."

"He cannot even provide for himself."

I don't know where the courage came from.

Maybe heartbreak makes children older.

Maybe love does.

I looked straight at her."Are you trying to sell me a fairy tale?"

She frowned.

"You keep talking about princes and castles. But the only person who has ever loved me without asking for anything in return is the boy you're calling a loafer."

Mama's face changed.

For the first time, I had hurt her.

She whispered, "Mind your language."

I couldn't stop.

"Do you even know what love is?"

She stared at me.

"If your marriage is what love looks like..." My voice cracked. "...then I don't want it."

''ENOUGH''

This was my father's voice, he barged in. He gripped my wrist so hard, I was surprised it didn't bleed. ''Dad please..''

''She won't stop..we need to send her to Kavratti..''

"Dad, please..."

"She won't stop," he said to my mother, ignoring my whimper completely. "Look at what she's become. She has lost every ounce of shame."

"I haven't done anything wrong," I cried out, trying to pull against his iron grip. "I loved him!"

"Loved?" He laughed, a short, bitter sound. "You're a child. You don't even know the meaning of that word."

"I know enough."

"You know nothing." He finally looked down at me, and I remember wishing in that split second that he would just slap me instead. Anything would have been better than the sheer disappointment in his eyes. "You embarrassed me."

"I embarrassed you?"

"You sneaked into bars. You were roaming around with a roadside boy. Do you have any idea what people would say if this gets out?"

"I don't care what people say!"

"But I do." His voice dropped into a frighteningly calm, measured tone. "I have spent twenty-five years building a reputation, Shanaya. One scandal is enough to destroy everything."

"What about Akash?" I gasped out, my wrists aching beneath his fingers.

"What about him?"

"They're going to kill him!"

"No." The answer came too quickly. "They won't kill him."

A sudden, foolish hope flooded through my chest. "You'll let him go?"

My father looked at me for several long, suffocating seconds before shaking his head. "No. But he will disappear."

I stared at him blankly, the blood draining from my face. "What does that mean?"

"It means he will never enter your life again."

My breathing became shallow, erratic. "You can't do that."

"I already have."

My knees gave way completely. I still remember the marble floor beneath my palms—cold, polished, and merciless.

I crawled the remaining distance until I reached his feet, wrapping both my arms around his legs in utter desperation.

"Dad... please." It was probably the very last time I ever called him that with love. "I'll stop meeting him. I promise. I'll never go out without telling you. I'll study. I'll become whatever you want. I'll marry whoever you choose one day..." My voice broke into ragged sobs. "...just please don't hurt him."

My father slowly looked down at me resting against his shoes. For one ridiculous second, I thought he was finally melting. Instead, he turned his head and spoke to my mother.

"See?" He sounded almost victorious. "This is exactly why daughters shouldn't be given unlimited freedom."

Mother looked exhausted more than angry now. "Dev... she's frightened."

"Good." He kneeled to the floor, for one fleeting second I felt as if I might find the glimmer of a father he once was. ''Did he touch you?''

The question made my throat tighten..I remembered it, I had asked him to touch me out of my adolscent curiousity but my boy was cautious, way too much. He promised me that he wouldn't...not untill he married me.

Irony of the cruel fate? He kept the promise.

''Answer me Shanaya'' He repeated again. Instead of screaming at high pitch, his decibel dropped into cold-angry snicker.

I shook my head. ''I kissed him once..''

I expected a few slaps but he didn't even raise a finger, instead he squeezed his eyes shut.—and somehow it scared the hell out of me. His voice became dangerously soft. "How many times?"

I lowered my eyes, my voice barely a whisper. "...Three."

He let out a slow, heavy breath. Then he turned toward my mother. "Pack a few clothes."

She frowned, stepping forward. "What are you thinking?"

"I said pack them."

"Dev, she's already terrified—"

"And she'll stay terrified if she keeps wandering around Mumbai!"

"This isn't the solution."

"It is."

"No, it isn't!"

"I know exactly what I'm doing, Sunita!"

Mother hesitated, looking at my trembling frame on the floor. "At least let her calm down first..."

My father shook his head firmly. "If she stays here, she'll try to run."

"I won't!" I begged, crawling toward them. "I'll stay! I promise! I won't leave the house! I'll never meet him again if that's what you want!"

The lie tasted like bitter poison in my throat. Because even then... I knew I would have found Akash somehow. I would have climbed walls, broken glass windows, and walked barefoot across the entire state of Maharashtra if I had to.

Anything. Anything but losing him.

My father studied me for a long, unbearable moment. Then, for the first time that night, his expression became utterly unreadable.

"No," he said, his voice frighteningly quiet. "I need some time to think."

He turned and walked out of the room without another word, shutting the heavy door behind him with a sharp, final click.

I collapsed against the side of the bed, my small body shivering on the cold marble floor. I remember crying until my throat bled, still naively convinced that if I cried hard enough... someone—my mother, God, the universe—would save Akash.

Nobody did.

A/N- I hope you liked the beginning. In this book we would dive deeper into Shanaya's psyche and ofcourse what happened to Akash after the bar.

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