Did We Reach the Ultimate Truth ?

Did We Really Reach the Ultimate Truth?

In 18 May 2015, while I was on duty, I ran to my disk while drinking a sip of my coffee. All the employees were focused in their computers as if we’re in a gamers center. Nobody noticing anyone, but their computers. I sat on my chair and completed drinking my intense Americano hoping that it will keep me full of energy for the rest of the day. Suddenly, the emergency phone rang out of the bloom TRRN TRRN!. My heart started beating faster than a speeding train wheels since it’s my first time hearing the phone in my five months of duty. For a sudden, everyone was quiet until Arthur, one of the best progressing spies in the CIA, picked up. For a minute, his face was instructable, until it suddenly turned red as if his veins were going to explode. few minutes later, the phone call ended. everyone was asking Arthur what was the phone call about, but no answer was heard. he then stuttered ” our S-spies Sir. Douglas, Sir. Wright, Sir. Gregory , and Sir. Nathan are l-lost their tracker isn’t locating them and nobody has heard from them for the past couple of weeks “.

Arthur kept talking while I was in deep shock. I’ve never met these spies, but I have heard and read the best about them. Sir. Douglas is a member of the CIA’s special activities division’s ground branch which is my career goal as a CIA spy, Sir. Wright is working on a protective service detail in Iraq. how could the best spies in the CIA disappear? are they killed ? or abducted? What if they were exposed? is that even possible? arthur completed ” therefore, Elizabeth, Albert, and Harriet are going to the middle east in 48 hours” for a second, the world seemed black. everything in the office was moving. I tried to reach the chair, so I could stand still. It felt as if my head was made of rocks. and so, I was out of breath.

later on , I started to realize did they really choose me to search for the best spies in the CIA? I’ve only been here for five months. I’m sure there is a mistake. why would they want to lose more spies? it’s like running to hell intentionally. Once everyone was settled, I went and asked Arthur privately ” Arthur, are you sure my name is included in the coming duty, I mean I’m only here for five months; and what is the probability of saving our best spies? 5 percent? or even less? ha?” “your name was given directly. I’m sure of all the names I mentioned. Listen, you’re going to go to Iraq and bring our spies back. Okay! you may think ISIS is unbeatable. Yes, it’s the most brutal terrorist cell. Yes, it has done the most unmerciful terrorist attacks of all. but, no it isn’t unbeatable. nothing is unbeatable. put that in your head, Sir. Harriet.”

I walked away feeling powerful, yet weak. Confident, yet paralyzed.

20, May 2015

sitting in the ripped dirty seats of the bus, I looked out the window and the only thing I could see was the golden dry ended grass that would easily reach my knee. The road trip was six hours long, but it felt like it was way more, even longer than the 36 hours long trip I drove over Europe. One hour later, we were approaching the borders. A man was passing through the bus to collect all the technical devices. when he reached me, the bag was almost full. I bet it worth a $10,000. I sent a goodbye message to my family and threw my phone in the bag.

Apparently, the bus was full of Turkish and Syrian men. there is a couple of Europeans and one American.“hey” the man sitting beside me said as if I wasn’t sitting here for the last five hours.“hey” I responded. “can I ask you question Mr. …” “Abulmoqdad, I’m Abulmoqdad” “yes, Abulmoqdad, why did you came here to Da’esh?” questioned he. “well, I converted to slam five years ago, and after reading and searching I knew Isis was the right track to heaven” I answered.” good, my story is different” a man , wearing a military suit and holding a double eagle airsoft gun AK-47, stepped into the bus. he spoke Arabic for a couple of minutes then said ” please stand still. Don’t forget your IDs. speed up, we are going out of the bus. We’ll walk for five minutes to the main gate. Follow me, I will escort you there.” I was informed by the CIA that the most distinguished thing between Isis and other terrorist cells is that ISIS accepts everyone regardless of everything else. So, I expected the process to pass smoothly. We reached the gate and I was at the end of the line. when my turn had come, I went to the checkpoint and gave the officer my ID. he said, “James Walker” “yes sir” I answered. “please fill these forms”. I held the pen and started filling the blanks with my current and new Islamic, as they describe it, name. The second form contained questions about my skills, career, and things I could benefit ISIS with. I submitted the forms and waited for the officer to respond.” Come tomorrow first thing in the morning and collect your ID, Abutalha will guide you to your room”

In the past, I used to read books about Iraq’s best colleges and civility; but now, AlMosel feels like I’m in Germany after the world war or even Japan after the Hiroshima bomb. It looked like a dessert, but the worst of them all. A dessert with bombed buildings everywhere, there are barely few roads that are half broken. I couldn’t smell anything except the carbon dioxide smell that stuffed my nose. ” that is the clinic and the building after it is where the mujahedin are going to practice. We also have an open area for practice, it’s in the other side of the city.” We continued walking amazed with everything that we saw. children and old women were selling goods at the bazar. although the women were wearing niqabs that covered their faces, I could still see the grudge they felt toward us through their eyes. ” cover your face, streetwalker” shouted Abutalha. I was 10 meters away from the women and I could see the flames of anger that were roaming around her. She stepped forward to respond, however, a women pulled her back as if she’s saving her from jumping to hell. We kept walking in the Bazar behind Abutalha which kept on warning people either on illegal goods such as children dolls and stories or their way of clothing. Suddenly, I heard a women shouting from the back. ” YOU STOLE OUR LAND! OUR RIGHTS! OUR PROPERTIES! AND AFTER EVERYTHING, YOU WANT US TO OBEY YOU AND ALL YOUR BULLSHIT! IS KILLING PEOPLE WHAT ISLAM TAUGHT US? I HEARD YOU’RE A MUSLIM, BUT I DON’T SEE ISLAM IN YOU! ISLAM IS THE RELIGION OF سلام AND PEACE.BUT YOU AND EVERYONE LIKE YOU STOLE THAT FROM US! ALMOSUL IS GONE BECAUSE ….” SHOOT SHOOT the women fell bleeding in the floor.once I saw her in the floor, I felt a weird sensation going through my stomach. This feeling was familiar. It used to come whenever I saw my parents fighting, but it disappeared later, I assume I got used to physical abuse.” that’s the fate of everyone that doesn’t obey orders, people ” . Abutalha kept walking as if killing a human was like stepping on an ant. He kept talking but the only voice I could hear was the children and women shouting and screaming after Abutalha gave them his back. I bet this voice will forever remain in my mind.

21, May 2015

" Allah akbar Allah akbar , wake up everyone it’s prayer time ″ cried the prayer caller at 3:00 A.M. . I stepped out from the bottom of my bunk bed to the line waiting for my turn to enter the bathroom. I still feel exhausted after yesterday’s adventure. 7 minutes later, I entered the bathroom, washed my hands and face, and pretended to get washed for the prayer. In the way to the mosque, I saw a corpse thrown at the floor. The blood was still draining from his body and moving to fill the tiny cracks at the street. I couldn’t see his facial features from all the wounds that covered his face. This scene made me shudder and curse ISIS and the day I started working on the CIA all the way to the mosque. ” remember why you came here, Harriet. Remember ” I muttered to myself. I entered the mosque and prayed with everyone in equal straight lines. This Fajer prayer proved the contradictory of ISIS. In my way to the mosque people were rushing and pushing each other, were talking about different ways of killing and murdering, were planning to torture humans. But their prayer demonstrates peace, balance, and mercy. The verses of Qur’an recited by them contradicts and oppose their lives.

I headed back to my room to rest for a while. Few hours later, I woke up, dressed up, and ate my breakfast. I, then, went to the welcoming speech for all the newcomers. The welcoming speech was mostly praising the newcomers to manipulate their minds that they have done the right choice to choose ISIS over their lives. ISIS mainly focused on, based on what they think, the purpose and goal of our existence. They say that we were created to obey God and we’ll be rewarded by heaven. Apparently, they didn’t focus on this as much as they did on how we will obey God. They say that the best way to win heaven is to fight for God, which is jihad as they call it. The mufti also focused on beautiful women called hur eyen that we’ll be rewarded with at heaven. ISIS works on manipulating and pulling young minds using their lusts or weak points. Finally, the mufti talked about our roles on the ISIS society. ITs and computer engineers are going to work in the electronic jihad section, they mainly try to manipulate young video gamers and social media users; doctors and nurses are going to work at the clinic. While soldiers, people who do sports, and people with no main benefit are going to be jihadists.

After the welcoming speech, I went to the shooting range to practice. “WOOOW!” was the only word I could utter once I entered the range. It was full of up to date weapons and guns. They had plenty of ED BROWN SPECIAL FORCES CARRY 1/11 that costed more than $2,400 apiece. Two hundred double eagle airsoft AK-47 guns were hanged at the wall. And there was a pool full of golden bullets. “that’s some of our weapons collection. we have 15 storage rooms all over Iraq” said the instructor. We headed to practice. The instructor gave me a full Chiappa M9-22 15 mm, I expected more after what I saw but at the end I’m supposed to be a beginner. I started to shoot, the first bullet was shooted exactly at the goal. The instructor said while tangling his brows ” is it your first time” I replied “my first time holding a real handgun, but I used to hunt turkeys every winter”. In my second trial, I intended to shoot the bullet 10 cm away from the goal, so the instructor’s suspension would fade. I did the same thing a couple of times until the instructor left the room.

It has been more than 24 hours since I arrived, and I didn’t notice any detail that can lead me to the spies. I left the shooting range to search for a clue. I went to the dorms and searched. I entered all the dorms in AL Mosul’s east but left empty handed. Searching for the spies in a city that has an area of 180 km^2 was similar to searching for a needle in a haystack. Possible, but extremely demanding. I completed searching in the main kitchen, clinic, and bazaar. but, nothing was in hand. I, disappointed, returned to my room and lay in my bed.

10, June 2015

It has been 19 days since I arrived, and not a single clue was found, not even one. I wanted to attend the mufti’s speech today.so I went there. Although all he says is nonsense, I felt like going today. In his speech, the mufti said ” pleasing god to reach heaven is what we all aim for. we’ll get rewarded with peace and beautiful hur eyen. But, what can we do to reach that? the best way isis concluded will take you to heaven is your martyrdom while killing non-Muslims. It’s the suicide bomb that would take you there, to heaven. ” ah! I wonder what does the hur eyen look like. I bit she’s a beautiful skinny yet curvy woman, tall legs, long brown hair , and perfect hazel eyes. At the end I guess it’s all bullshit.

The instructor assigned me to roam around the Bazaar today.so, I went there. Once I arrived I saw a young woman wearing the abaya upside down and her brows weren’t covered by the neqab. I caught her covering the kardashians magazine with books such as Issues Fom The Jurisprudence of Jihad and Management of Brutality. Something inside me was telling me not to do this but the rest of me wasn’t. so I held her wrist strongly and pulled her towards me. ” WHY ARE YOU SELLING THESE PROSTITUTES MAGAZINES!” I said furiously. but no answer was heard from her. with a louder voice I said ” answer women?” she said while looking in the floor ” these are the only magazines that people buy, nobody buys you’re books.” She lifted her niqab and completed while her tears were running through her pink blushed cheeks. ” I have 3 children, I need to feed them . please forgive me ” “cover your face, women ″ a voice behind me was heard. it was Abutalha . ” I’m dealing with this, no problem” I said. ” cover your face, young women. NEXT TIME I’M GOING TO TAKE YOU WITH ME INSTEAD OF YOUR MAGAZINES.” I took all the magazines from her and tore them in front of her. I felt her heart tear with the paper, but I ignored the part of me that was telling me to help her. I was shocked from the action I took, I felt like I was someone else. Someone stronger. Someone determined. I completed roaming and did the same thing with 3 women, and each time I felt more powerful.

3, Jan 2015

I decided. it’s a one-way path that I chose, and I will never regret or return back. That’s what I wanted for the past month, I was a coward but not anymore. I’m going to step forward, with no doubt. I know I’m capable of doing this, at the end that’s the right track I should move on.

I woke up at 2:00 A.M., the room was quiet to an extent that I could hear the insects chirp. I lifted my body from the bed and took the alcohol and scalpel that I stole from the clinic to the bathroom. I wiped the back of my neck with alcohol and held the scalpel. ” bisemallah” I said. I started to cut the back of my neck until my hands started to shake. It hurts to an extent that I can’t keep my hands balanced. For a moment, I was really frightened. But, I needed to complete working. I cleaned my hands with alcohol and searched for the locater inside the cut. ” ahh, I’ve found it ” I said. I held the locator using my two fingers and grabbed it. ” OUCH ” I cried. The blood started to drain on the floor. KNOCK KNOCK someone knocked the door. ” what’s wrong? Is it Abulmoqdad?” “yes, I fell. I’m fine. Everything is under control” I said. I immediately searched for a cloth and taped it on the back of my neck. Although the pain was humongous, I felt relieved. A huge burden was lifted from my chest. I felt free. I’m who I’m, representing myself only.

4 ,jan 2016

I woke up knowing that today is the last day in my 37 years of life. Last day to wake up, last day to line for the bathroom, and last day to live my daily routine. No more attacks, no more roams in the bazaar, and no more speeches. But I know the best is waiting for me. The best of it all, paradise.

Abutalha arranged a farewell feast at his place.so I went there to see him for the last time. Once I entered Abutalha grabbed me and said ” congrats Abulmodad. I’m really proud of you. you did what I couldn’t do in my lifetime in a year. Allahoakbar!“. all the mujahedeen came and congratulated me. some asked for advice, while others asked for forgiveness. I left Abutalha’s place and went to place where it all started a couple of years ago. The place where I was born again in. the bus stop that is five minutes from the main gate. When I arrived, there was a man waiting for me. ” alslam alaykom, are you Abulmoqdad” he said ” yes, sir” “here is your ID and your phone, the bus will drop you at the airport. You’ll fly to France. Once you arrive you’ll meet with another man, he’s called Abuqotaiba. You’ll complete the mission together, he knows all the details. He’ll guide you. And contact me if you need anything”. I stepped into the bus and sat on the same ripped dirty seat I sat on two years ago. I remembered every detail as if it was yesterday.

I arrived at AL-Mosul’s International Airport. It looked like an abandoned shabby building. I didn’t feel comfortable while stepping in , but I did anyways. Only I and few employees were at the airport. Literally, no one else besides us was there. I needed to get in the plane in an hour, so I hurried to the Check-in area. ” alslamualayum, I’m heading to Istanbul” said I. ” ticket number” said the employee. I completed the Check-in procedures, and waited on the lounge. I was surprised there were 7 more passengers waiting on the lounge. Half an hour passed. So, I got in the plane and thanked God I wasn’t caught.

Once I arrived at Ataturk International Airport, I sat on the seat next to the Arrivals gate and waited for the other mujahed. 15 minutes later, a man was moving towards me. His face was really familiar. I know these features, but I can’t remember who is it. He had a long grayish beard and a long-tied hair. He looked like he was 45 years old or few years younger.“Oh no,no,no ” I muttered. It’s Sir. Gregory. One of the spies I was supposed to look for. “alslam alaykom” he said once he reached me. ” walaykom alsalam” I replied with a shocked face. ” you’re Abulmoqdad? ” he questioned. ” yes, it’s me” I answered with a low tone. ” follow me, you can’t change your decision now ″ he said. ″ wait” I shouted ″ I know who you are, what the hell are you doing in here? ” I asked. Sir. Gregory stepped closer and said ” SHH! Lower your voice. How do you know me?” he asked fearfully. ” Sir. Gregory from the American CIA, ha? I was an American citizen” I answered. ″ follow me, we’ll talk in the car ” he said. I followed him and stepped into the car. He started to drive. For a minute, no voice was heard until I had to break the silence and said ” what about the other spies? Sir.Wright and the others?” ” how do you know these informations?” he exclaimed. ” answer ” I said hoping to escape from his question. ” I reported them to the head of the military and they had burned them alive ” he answered proudly as if he had killed all the Non-Muslims in the world.

Reema BuKhsmseen