What I See
Title: What I See
Date written: 26/12/15
I see me this way because of you
Yes, because of you
It's all because of you
Because of you I find it hard to trust.....
I find it hard to trust me,
And everyone around me.
Yes, this is because of you
BECAUSE of you
I don’t love me
But I have these expectations
For everyone else
To love themselves.
BECAUSE of you
I give great advice
When it comes to other people’s lives
But when it comes to me
This is what I see.
I see a girl with scares.
I see a girl with a hideous past.
I see a girl who is fat.
I see the girl who isn’t perfect.
This is because of you.
However, to an extent I accept me.
I accept my flaws.
I accept my scars.
I accept my unrealistic expectations.
I accept the fact that I could never love me.
With this I come to realise, all this?
The way I feel
Its not just because i am U.G.L.Y
Its not just because of the fear you have for your own child.
Its not just because I am P.H.A.T
And my family is ashamed of me
Its not just because I would rather be
Anybody else but me
No.
Its because I know.
I know that if I can’t love myself
I can’t have these unrealistic expectations of everybody else.
This is how I see me
And its because of you
You made me the way I am
You made me who I am today
You made me U.G.L.Y
You are the reason why i cry.
You made me what you wanted me to be
A scarred child
Because of you
No one can love me
.
.
.
Not even me
It’s okay though
Not everybody was meant to be loved
Not everybody looks like an angel from up above.
I may not be able to change what you did to me,
How you made me into a scarred fragile shell of the person I was meant to be
But its A okay.
Yes because of you
I will never love me
And you will NEVER love you
I guess we are one in the same
I guess that was the point of your little “game ”
But we are different
For I am me
The girl with the smile on her face while her heart is frowning
And you
You are the one who causes the pain in her heart
You broke her heart
So much so that she doesn’t know where to start
Where to start to mend the broken pieces
In the end all of who she is
Is because of you
But one day you’ll be sorry
Yes you’ll be sorry for making her...
The scarred girl
The girl with a cold heart
The girl who no one can love
Yes, one day
It maybe tomorrow
Or years from now
But someday
She will be whole again
And you would want a chance a love her
But she’ll be so busy loving herself
That she won’t have time for you or anybody else.
THIS IS ME
THIS IS WHAT I SEE WHEN I LOOK INTO THE MIRROR INTO MY EYES
A broken girl who is just trying to mend her soul
WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK INTO YOURS?
Take the plunge
There is nothing to fear
All you are doing is finding out what lays beneath the surface of your mind
Yes its that near!
