Chapter 1
The world is a blur to her. Thirteen years of school culminating to this very occasion, graduation. A sea of black caps and robes sprawls across the sporting field as people cheer for those called up to the stage to stand beside the principal of the only high school in this tiny town. Waves of anxiety wash over her as she is the next to be called on stage.
“Avery Collins.”
Her name echoes across the gathering of families and friends. With sweaty palms and shaky knees, she stands, praying her legs can hold on until she can retake her seat amongst the other graduating students. In her mind she watches each step in slow motion, as she makes her way to the stairs leading up to the stage. Avery can feel a thousand eyes on her back, watching every move. An unusually warm May breeze rustles her graduation gown, blowing some of the very loose fabric between her calves. Silence falls over the audience of the ceremony, save for the shutter snaps from cameras.
“Don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall” Avery whispers under her breath. Grasping the railing for support she takes the first step. She can hear her heart beating, pounding in her ears, feel the blood rushing to her cheeks, every nerve ending alive with electricity. Though blushing wouldn’t be the worst thing to do right now. One slip up and this town of 3000 people will be joking about this until the next graduation. “Please don’t fall.”
Chanting ‘don’t fall’ has little effect as the front of Avery’s graduation gown becomes caught underneath her shoe, the same graduation robe her sister had worn a few years earlier, all of 3 inches taller than her leaving quite a bit of material to drag across the ground as she walks. Avery braces for the impact of the fall onto the hard floor of the stage. Mrs Nichols, the assistant principal who stands by the stairs for an event such as this, is quick to act, sparing Avery from the embarrassment of crashing and burning in front of the majority of Middletown.
“Careful Miss Collins. Don’t want to ruin your gown for photos.” Mrs Nichols whispers as she ushers her towards Mr Davis, the principal.
Photos. Nothing irritates Avery more than the cheesy fake smiles, the forced touching as inexperienced photographers try to cram two people into a shot wide enough for twenty.
Hand outstretched, Avery shakes Mr Davis’, gripping her graduation certificate in her left hand. Looking towards her family in the crowd, she forces a smile to break through the embarrassment plastered on her face.
Some of the faces in the crowd show genuine concern for when she fell, others trying to keep themselves from laughing. Her family however, waving like they hadn’t seen Avery in years, as though she had just returned from war. This adds to her embarrassment, especially when her father sticks his fingers in his mouth to let out a rather loud whistle, earning a few of the more reserved parents to turn and stare.
Learning from her mistake, she gathers some of the soft fabric by her hip, raising the hem from the ground revealing her very worn in red Chuck Taylors. Looking towards her family Avery can see the disdain her mother has for the shoes. She had been trying to get Avery to wear the black kitten heels she had bought her for her last birthday. Avery had been convincing enough for her mother to believe she liked the shoes, long enough to hide them away in the back of her closet that is, underneath the many skirts and dresses that had been handed down from her sister.
“Way to go Collins. Setting the standard for every one else.” Katie Cranston mocks, whispering in Avery’s ear before it is her turn to parade across the stage for the gawking boys and proud parents.
Had this been a normal school day, Katie would have received a dress code violation for how tight her robe was around her body and how much cleavage she dared to show. ‘I wonder how long until Mr Davis gets uncomfortable with this’ Avery wonders.
Her question is answered as Mr Davis adjust his belt while Katie continues across the stage. Avery rolls her eyes and slouches down into her seat, earning her a few glares from other teachers, after the entire grade had been lectured about sitting straight. Playing with the tiny ribbon wrapped around the bright white roll of paper in her soft slender hands, Avery waits impatiently for this overly exaggerated ceremony to finish.
Her family try to be happy as Avery joins them under the large shelter that stands over the outdoor seating area. A chaotic symphony of chatter, laughs and the occasional wail as a person releases tears of joy. Or sorrow, it is hard to tell.
“I told you to wear the cute black heels for today. Now the pictures are ruined by those dirty shoes you insist on wearing everywhere. You would have looked so beautiful if you had worn a skirt as well. Like Katie Cranston.” Martha Collins, Avery’s mother, sighs.
“You didn’t tell me. You suggested it, to which I said no. And Katie Cranston. Her fashion sense is somewhere between school girl and prostitute.” Avery retorts looking across at the many rows of cars in the high school parking lot. A longing to be at home in the safety of her bedroom with her favourite book grows ever present.
“Come on, lets get a family photo. We can put it right next to your sister Lucy’s on the wall.” Adrian Collins, Avery’s father, suggests.
With their arms around her, Avery’s mother and sister smile widely, while Avery tries to force even the tiniest of smiles. All that she can manage is the slight hitch at the corner of her lips, almost but not quite a smirk.
“Uh, I’m going to find my friends. You guys can hang out here if you want or go home. Don’t wait up for me.” Avery states, not waiting for her parents approval before she slowly starts backing away.
“But you don’t have friends.” Lucy points out, looking as though she is missing out on some important information.
“I know.” Avery calls out, escaping into the crowd, bobbing and weaving through the groups of families hugging, the sound of mothers kissing their son’s cheeks, fathers struggling to retain a shred of masculinity as tears threaten to spill at the thought of their daughters growing up too fast.
Breaking through to the other side of the crowd, Avery begins her half jog, half sprint towards the one place that gave her solitude during high school, the old above ground water tank. Her gown billows behind her like a cape as she makes her way to the water tank. During her freshman year, Avery had commandeered a red painted wooden bench from a group of graduating seniors after having sat on the cold grass for the first part of the year, dragging it to the old water tank, a place many students thought was too “uncool” to hang around. Somewhat secluded from the main area where students sat, it was a sort of safe haven for the socially challenged, namely Avery. Though she had a few friends during middle school, high school set her mind on a different path of thinking. Avery would rather be alone than be seen with people who only pretended to be true friends.
From her position by the water tank Avery watches the families enact their cliché ‘my child just graduated’ gestures. Showing their child to other families, asking about grades from teachers who have already given out every student’s final grade. Leaning back against the water tank’s wall relaxes Avery, a familiar feeling when she sat in this spot.
“I can’t wait till I get out of this town. Away from all of these narrow-minded people.” Avery mutters.
“We can’t wait till you leave either Collins. Perhaps the town will look better without your presence to dirty it’s image.” Katie laughs as she walks past the water tank, obviously hearing what Avery had said. Avery watches in disgust as Katie re-buttons her blouse as she passes by, followed closely by Mr Kleve, the married mathematics teacher. “Attention all graduating students of 2016. Party at my house to celebrate the end of the worst thirteen years of our lives.” Katie shouts.
A cheer rises from many of the students, mingling with the groans of unhappiness from many of the parents. Rolling her eyes seems to have become a recurring theme today for Avery. As families pile into cars and drive off, Avery takes her time, savouring the final moments in school. Though the bullies, both students and teachers, had made her school experience miserable, at least it wasn’t as horrible as working at the corner store every afternoon, under the scrutinising eye of Elliot Lester, the middle aged manager who seemed to like taking his anger about being dumped by his fiancé when he was twenty out on Avery.
“Well my old friend. It was nice to know you. Maybe you’ll give another person the same kind, nice solitude like you did for me.” Avery sighs, speaking to the water tank before wrapping her arms around it’s rough concrete walls as best she can. Her arm span barely covering a 16th of the tank. “I hope you have a long and happy life my friend. Maybe you’ll find a nice female tank and make many tank babies.” Avery sarcastically jokes.
Though her dream is to leave this insignificant speck of a town as nothing more than a reflection in her rear-view mirror, perhaps another student, much like herself can feel comforted that they aren’t alone when they sit by the water tank. She pulls a black Sharpie from her pocket, which she had been holding onto for the entire day waiting for the perfect moment to leave her mark on the school.
‘AVERY 2016’ scribbled no bigger than the size of a book on the rough concrete wall. Satisfied by her tag, Avery backs away to take one last look a the water tank. Lining up the photo on her phone, she snap the last memory she wants to have of this high school.
“Hey you! What are you still doing here.” The high school security guard shouts, his hand resting on his right hip to give the impression of having a gun, though Avery knows it is just his flash light. His blue button down shirt doing nothing to help his image, showing his large stomach almost doubling over his belt, his balding head shining in the afternoon light.
For the first time a genuine smile breaks through the otherwise unhappy expression Avery had been harbouring all day. Stuffing her phone back into the pocket of her black skinny jeans, Avery breaks into a sprint, easily outrunning the guard, until she is far enough from the school.
In a town of around 3000 people, the streets are usually bare, allowing Avery to walk along the painted line running along the middle of the street. Her house is quite a bit away from the school. Mostly Avery rode her bike to school. Today however, her mum had insisted on driving. “Getting dust on the graduation gown is very unflattering,” as her mother had put it.
Since the ceremony had taken place later in the afternoon, the sky now erupted in streak of pinks, reds and golds. The sun sets behind Avery. She shrugs off the ill fitting gown to show off her favourite soft rose coloured floral print tank top, a stark contrast to her black skinny jeans and dirty red Chuck Taylors. Streetlights begin turning on, their orange bulbs casting an even more sunset coloured glow upon the roadside, highlighting every blade of dried grass like tiger stripes. The thumping bass notes of music, grows louder and louder as it approaches Avery. She darts off of the road on to the white concrete side walk as a large black SUV swerves all over the street, music blaring and four of the football players who had also graduated today waving their red and white letterman jacket clad arms in the air outside of the car, spilling the obvious alcoholic liquid from their cans on the bitumen below.
“Idiots!” Avery shouts as splashes of alcohol land on her shirt. She brushes her long mousey brown hair away from her face as she yells, furrowing her brow in frustration. The lengths of her naturally wavy hair covering her face as she dashed for the safety of the side walk.
Finally arriving at her house, well after the sun had set, Avery breezes past her family sitting in the living room to the kitchen, collecting her father’s six-pack of beer and leftover pepperoni pizza from the night before. Nowhere near 21, and parents strict about her obeying the law as a newly 18 year old, Avery sneaks her graduation gift for herself upstairs to her bedroom.
Kicking her wooden bedroom door shut and dumping her solo party food onto her bed, Avery strips her beer infused shirt and jeans, replacing them with her favourite sweatpants and oversized shirt she had stolen from her Dad many years ago. Crawling into bed with her laptop she so fondly nicknamed her boyfriend, she pops the top off of the first beer and flips open the lid of the pizza box.
“Uh, Avery? Can I come in?” Lucy asks from beyond the bedroom door, though she has already started opening the door. Avery scrambles to hide the beer underneath her blue and green chequered covers before she can see them.
“What do you want?” Avery asks trying to not let her annoyance seep into her words.
“Oh, um, well I borrowed your laptop to look for wedding dresses. It’s getting very close to the wedding date.” Lucy admits. Avery sighs mentally. “I noticed you have been looking for a lot of jobs. Honestly I think you should stick with the one you have, your so close to being promoted, maybe even to assistant store manager. It’ll be more money.”
“Thanks for the input sis. I’ll be sure to store it in the back of my mind along with your advice on how to catch a rich boyfriend.” Avery states sarcastically, “Does it not occur to you, or dad, or mum that I don’t want to be stuck in this town. There are about 10 other girls who don’t have jobs because I beat them all for the one I have now. I don’t want to be stuck in this town any more. I want more from my life than a dead end job, a mortgage, going to The Grill as a romantic date.”
The Grill. A place of good char-grilled steaks, but also of disgusting toilets, rowdy drunken crowds, very seedy-looking back rooms and the stench of vomit and alcohol. A regular hang out for the over-21’s.
“I want to do more than become someone’s stay-at-home wife. I want to live, like really live my life.” Avery states, her words gradually growing softer.
“Well, um. I-I’m just going to leave you with your beer and pizza. Don’t let Dad catch you with it.” Lucy utters before leaving the room leaving the door slightly ajar.
“Close the door!” Avery calls out. Lucy pokes her head in the door, smiling smugly and the hint of a giggle as she teasingly closes the door slowly.
Avery smiles as she watches Lucy leave the room. Throughout their differences as sisters, Lucy was the one Avery trusted more than herself, to tell secrets, reveal her dreams, even to use her ID to buy alcohol when she and her parents were out of town. When they were younger, many people had confused Lucy and Avery for twins. Both girls had been born with their father’s mousy brown hair, and mother’s hazel eyes. As they grew, certain differences appeared so they were no longer confused as twins. Lucy had always been taller than Avery, and her hair had darkened to a rich dark brown colour which she enjoyed keeping short. Avery had remained somewhat the same, her mousy brown hair left to fall to past her shoulders, usually left loose to flow freely in the breeze.
Placing her large black headphones on to drown out the world, Avery takes a swig of her opened beer she had hidden beside her night stand, and begins playing her playlist dedicated to this day, graduation.
Through the music and far off in the distance fireworks exploding in bright reds and blues can be heard as their colours light up the wall facing Avery’s bedroom window.
👍 good