Dirty Little Secret

I shouldn’t have come here.

That was my first thought as I looked up at the neon flashing sign that read ′Milkyway’, and the long line of people waiting in front of it. My eyes scanned the crowd and my heartbeat picked up quickly as I took in the unfamiliar clubs scene.

So this is what all the fuss is about.

My mind was practically screaming at me to get back into the cab, hop on the first Bart home and return to my bed like nothing had ever happened, but my feet remained nailed to the ground, suddenly feeling like they weighed a ton. They probably did though; these deathtraps people called heels –which according to Google were part of the appropriate clubbing attire- were heavier than my two-volume, 4,448-page Historical Thesaurus of the Oxford English Dictionary (A birthday present from my mother). I didn’t think I’d be able to get very far in them either, without breaking my neck that is.

After taking a long, deep breath which was meant to be encouraging but came out rather shakily, I managed to move my feet towards the back of the line of drunk, giggling women, hanging on the arms of equally intoxicated looking men.

I probably stuck out like a sore thumb standing there all by myself, squeezing my clutch to my side as if it were my life line. I guess at the moment it sort of was though. It was the only control I had over the situation; it carried everything from my phone, money and keys to an extended map of San Francisco in case, god forbid, something happened to my phone and I was unable to call a cab.

You could say I was a bit of a control freak, but I preferred the term prepared. Though, most people at school did in fact stick with the former. It’s what I was known for being after all.

Nina, the uptight, know-it-all, control freak.

Yeah, lovely, I know.

I didn’t really mind though; I mean, I might not have a lot of friends –ok, so no friends at all-, and boys avoided me like the plague, but it was all I’d ever known. Besides, it allowed me to focus on my school work and poetry; the only two things that really mattered at the moment. All the other stuff like friends and boys could wait until after I finished college.

Well, tonight being the only exception.

I might’ve been the outcast of my age group, but I was a teenager nonetheless. And like any other teenager, I was curious. Therefore, since senior year was only a week away, I was allowing myself one night of exploring the unknown; one night to act like a completely reckless and out of control teenager.

Just to get it out of my system.

As I waited in line I examined my outfit once more; now this definitely wasn’t something the normal Nina would wear. I compared the red long sleeved bodycon dress that clung to me like second skin to the attire of the women standing in front of me in line. While mine was a bit more proper, since my definition of out of control did not include flaunting all of my assets, I definitely looked the part.

I didn’t once take my eyes off the tiled street below my nude pumps as the line moved forward, afraid of making eye contact and being found out. Even though I had borrowed my mother’s clothing and make up, I doubted I looked anything close to the twenty-one years of age required to get into the club. I was only seventeen after all.

It tried to reassure myself with the reminder that this club was known for being careless about checking ID’s. It was one of the main reasons I had chosen this club in particular. That, and the fact that it was far away from home.

I was so lost in thought, that by the time I reached the bouncer, I didn’t even realize it.

“Please move along miss, you’re holding up the line.” A gruff voice sounded from my front, and I looked up to meet the –very annoyed, if I may add- gaze of a thick, bald man dressed in all black. I swallowed nervously as he eyed me up and down, scrutinizing me with his gaze.

Oh god, this is it. He’s seeing right through my façade. I thought nervously.

Just as I was about to turn around and flee, the bouncer stepped aside and gestured towards the entrance that appeared behind him.

I wasn’t sure how long I stood there, gawking at him like a complete idiot, but it must have been a second too long as he had clearly grown impatient and snapped at me “Listen girl, either get in and get the line moving or piss off. I don’t have all night.”

I gulped.

Talk about customer service.

“Uh, y-yeah of- of course.” I stuttered rather embarrassingly and took three long strides past the bouncer, and into the building.

Very smooth, Nina.

I spotted a tall, lanky guy wearing a black ′staff′ shirt standing by a cash register at the far corner of the room next to the hole in the wall wardrobe. I didn’t need to use the latter, since the night was too warm for me to have brought a jacket and I planned on keeping my clutch on me at all times.

I strode over to the guy, who shot me a smug looking grin as I approached.

What’s with that?

I tried to ignore the meaningful look he was shooting me as I paid the entrance fee and let him press a black stamp with the familiar ′Milkyway′ logo onto my hand. When he saw me frowning at it in confusion he explained that it represented my ticket into the club.

I wrinkled my nose at that. This better wash off easily.

I thanked the guy before making my way through the thick black double doors leading into the club. I tried to ignore his eyes burning into my back and instead focused on the foreign feeling of the bass thumbing through my body as I stepped foot into the club.

White and purple lights illuminated a dance floor in the middle of the venue where bodies were pressed together in a sweaty mess, moving to the beat of a song I wasn’t familiar with. At the very front of the dance floor was a large stage with a DJ setup in the middle of it.

I felt a little breathless as I took in my surroundings. The place was no less than what I expected it to be; the mass of bodies, the loud thumping of music, the faint smell of smoke, the flashing lights and the heat washing through the air in waves.

Yet, nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of the whole thing.

It was full of energy, so thick you could almost slice through it with a knife. It was a good energy though, like a rush of adrenaline that surged through you, leaving in its wake an exciting thrill. For a brief moment, the way the thumping of my heart matched the vibration of the ground beneath me, allowed me to feel like I belonged in this foreign place.

I spotted the bar on the other side of the room, and decided that the best way to start the evening would probably be with a drink. That’s what other people did at clubs, right? Get drunk to the point where they couldn’t see straight and dance until the sun came up?

Right, so maybe I would need more than one drink to achieve that.

I made my way through the crowd, careful not to bump into anyone -which I soon realized was impossible- and sat down on a barstool when I reached it. Rows of alcoholic beverages were lined up against a mirror behind the bar, the shelves they stood on lit up to give the illusion that the bottles were glowing. It looked quite mesmerizing.

Seconds after I sat down, a male bartender who looked to be in his early twenties approached me with a grin. “What can I get you?” He asked, leaning in over the counter a bit so I was able to hear over the music.

“Erm...” I ran my eyes over the bottles lined up on the wall, trying to make out some of the names on the logos without squinting my eyes and making it too obvious. I didn’t want to appear to be a total rookie, even though I was.

When the bartender realized there wasn’t much more to my answer than that, he handed me white, laminated menu accompanied by a wink “Take your time, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart? I crinkled my nose in confusion, not used to hearing the adornment from anyone other than my creepy uncle Jed, who I had deliberately avoided seeing since he showed me his dead animal collection on my tenth birthday. I shivered at the thought.

Deciding to put that particular memory on the backburner, I redirected my attention on the menu. Let’s see what they’ve got.

My eyes ran over the list of beverages, which included names such as Boilermaker, Salty Dog and Corn ’n Oil, none of which sounded very appealing, and I wondered what the heck happened to the common stuff such as beer and vodka.

Ok, so I might not have been a very experienced drinker –I could count on one hand the times my mother had let me try a sip of wine at a dinner party-, but I was pretty sure at least beer was still a common thing, right?

Right?

“You look a little bit lost over there.” A throaty chuckle sounded from my right and my head jerked up in surprise.

What the heck? Who sneaks up on people like that?!

I looked up to the source of my near heart-attack, ready to scold whoever for scaring the living daylights out of me, but my mouth did all but form a coherent sentence as my eyes met a light green pair belonging to one of the most gorgeous guys I had ever seen.

Mother of men.

I didn’t know where to look first; I had never seen a good looking male specimen up close before. His green eyes were framed by a row of dark long lashes, emphasizing their beauty by a quadrillion and he had a mob of dark brown messy locks hanging loosely over his forehead. I noticed something reflect light from the corner of my eye and my gaze dropped to his bottom lip, which was accessorized by a shiny silver lip ring.

I gulped.

He looked at me expectantly, waiting for a response no doubt, which I was unable to give since the only close contact I’d ever had with a male my age was with Freddie Dorfman, my science lab partner who most definitely did not look like a real life Greek god.

How do I use my voice again?

“I- you- w-what”′ I finally managed to choke out before turning beet red from embarrassment.

Stupid!

His lips turned up into a smirk and I swear I almost died right then and there “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that, princess.”

“I- yeah...” I muttered, still too distracted by his lips to fully realize what he was saying.

His smirk grew; entertainment at my expense, no doubt. I forced myself to tear my gaze away from his lips and back up to his eyes, which were glistening with amusement. “Can I buy you a drink?” He offered, glancing down at the laminated menu I was still clutching tightly between my fingers.

Right, a drink!

The logical side of my brain was screaming at me to get the heck out of there, since I couldn’t possibly spend any time with this god like boy without embarrassing myself to the point where I wouldn’t be able to show my face to the world ever again, but the less sensible part of my brain was reminding me that running was something the normal Nina would do, and wasn’t the whole point of tonight being everything the normal Nina wasn’t?

That’s right Nina, be confident! It’s only for one night. Just pretend he’s Freddie Dorfman.

I mentally snorted, as if that was possible.

He raised one eyebrow at me expectantly, and I realized I was taking way too long to respond, so instead of thinking about the consequences of my actions, I did the unthinkable.

I blurted out “Sure.”

Five tequila shots, and something called a Long –or was it short?- Island Iced Tea later, talking to the male god had become a lot easier.

I’m sure all my giggling and talk about Euler’s identity –my favorite mathematical equation- made no sense to him whatsoever, but he smiled and nodded at me nonetheless, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy... Or was that the alcohol?

It didn’t really matter either way, I liked it.

After a while, he excused himself to the restroom, but told me to stay put. I fully intended on doing so, since I felt a little dizzy whenever I tried to stand up, but then Wilkinson’s ′Half Light’ started playing and since it was the only song I recognized since I’d come here, it would’ve been wrong of me not to dance.

I jumped up with delight, and waited a few seconds for the dizziness to subside before my feet dragged me to the dance floor.

It wasn’t long until I was surrounded by sweaty bodies, jumping up and down and swaying my hips to the music. Who knew dancing could be so much fun?

Ten –or was it twelve? - songs later, a pair of hands grabbed my hips and pushed me back against something hard. I frowned and stopped dancing, eyeing the rather large manly hands that were gripping my hips tightly.

What the heck?

I instantly slowed my dancing, craning my head back in a lazy attempt to face whoever had sneaked up on me. When I finally turned my head, I came face to chest with a blue shirt smelling of cheap cologne and sweat. I felt the urge to gag as the smell filled my nostrils.

“Don’t stop on my account, darling.” The stranger drawled into my ear, causing shivers to run down my spine at the unpleasantness of the voice.

I tried to pull away, but instead of letting go he slipped an arm around my waist and started moving his hips against mine, forcing me to move with him. “Don’t be so shy now, you were giving us quite the show earlier.” He continued, moving his hand from my hip down to my butt, which he gave a small squeeze.

The feeling of his hands on me instantly made me sick to the stomach, and I didn’t know whether it was his touch, the spinning lights or the alcohol that was making me dizzy, but before I could think to do anything else, I felt my throat close up with the urge to vomit; I needed fresh air.

I managed to escape from the man’s grip on my waist before hastily making my way out of the crowd, almost tripping over my own feet in the process. I looked around the club, trying to find some kind of exit, but the room was spinning too fast for me to make out any clear signs.

“Hey, are you ok?” I heard a loud voice coming from my right and I looked up into a concerned pair of green eyes, belonging to the male god who I had spoken to earlier at the bar. A wide smile appeared on my face at the resignation, momentarily forgetting my surge of panic as I pinched his cheek playfully “Hey you!” I slurred as he removed my hand from his face.

“Hey,” He attempted to return my smile, though not without grabbing hold of my elbows as I threatened to topple over. Concern laced his eyes as he tried to meet my eye, which seemed to become more difficult with the amount of eyes I was beginning to see “You don’t look so well...” He commented, his voice slowly blurring with the music as I dizzily glanced around. “I’m fine.” I slurred, removing myself from his hold to prove my point. He seemed reluctant to let go, but when he finally did I held out my arms as if pointing out that I was perfectly capable of balancing myself “See, just peachy-” not two seconds after the words left my mouth, I felt the bile rise up in my throat and the next thing I knew was I vomiting all over his shoes.

My eyes widened and his arms quickly released me as I continued dry heaving as his feet disappeared from beneath me.

“Shit!” he cussed loudly and I visibly cringed as he took two large steps away from me.

Before either of us could do or say anything else, we were being dragged out of the club by security. I heard the guy from the club, who earlier I had began referring to as MG – short for male god – cuss loudly and threaten the guards to release him, whereas I was limply being carried out. I felt too dizzy and sick to make any protests as they threw both of us out on the street.

“Assholes!” MG shouted after them as they disappeared back into the club, earning us some looks from bystanders waiting in line to get into the club.

I sat there on the cold concrete street, my face buried into my hands as I waited for the dizziness to subside. MG was at my side, seemingly not paying any attention to me as he continued cussing and complaining about the vomit on his shoes.

With some of the toxins being removed from my system, I could slowly feel my mind clearing, at least enough for me to realize the extent of what had just happened and how horrifyingly embarrassing it was. Even more embarrassing than that time Brody Woodward and his minions had stolen my diary and posted some of the pages up on the clipboard for the whole school to see.

MG cussed loudly once more before kneeling down beside me, as if just now noticing that I was still there “Hey, are you alright?” he murmered in question, laying a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I sniffed and nodded, removing my hands from my face before looking up at him “I’m sorry about your shoes.” I murmured with a hint of desperation, crimson embarrassment no doubt covering my face.

For a brief moment he just stared at me as if he was at a loss of words, before finally shaking his head and releasing a sigh. A small forgiving smile tucked at the corners of his mouth “It’s alright; I’m the one who bought you those tequila shots to begin with. I should’ve known better.” He mused before letting out a small chuckle “I take it you don’t have a lot of experience drinking?”

I shook my head, the gesture shy as I hid my mouth behind my fist, feeling relieved yet embarrassed at the same time. At least he wasn’t angry.

After another brief moment of silence he got back up to his feet and held his hand out for me to grab “Come on.” He said, looking at me expectantly.

“Where are we going?” I asked him, my voice still sounding hoarse from vomiting.

“There’s a 24hr burger king a few blocks away.” He told me “We can get cleaned up there.”

I nodded at him with a small smile, extremely grateful that he was offering to help me out after I completely ruined his shoes. “Are we walking?” I asked, not sure if my feet could carry me without tripping. Though dulled down to a pleasant lull in the back of my mind, the alcohol was far from leaving my system.

“We can take my bike.” He responded, catching onto the implication behind my question as he took hold of my arm to steady me.

I gladly held onto him as we walked down the street to a parking lot which was filled with cars and a few motorcycles, and it was only then that I realized we had a different kind of bike in mind.

Not before long, I was standing next to the coolest, most intimidating vehicle I had ever seen in my life. MG smirked at my reaction and circled the black motorcycle proudly before placing his helmet over his head and handing me the spare.

When he realized I wasn’t making an effort to take it, he placed the helmet onto my head himself instead. Goosebumps rising up on my skin as his fingers brushed against my jaw, strapping the helmet into place.

After he was done, he swung one leg over the bike and sat down on the black leather saddle, motioning for me to do the same.

I gulped, a rush of anxiety pulsing through me as I stared at the large vehicle.

Come one Nina, it’s just a motorcycle, no biggie.

I gathered all my courage and stepped onto the back of the bike, wrapping my arms around MG’s waist tightly in the process, which earned me a chuckle from him.

“Hold on tight princess.” He grinned and clutched the throttle. The engine revved loudly, and I squeaked in slight fear, clinging onto him for dear life as he released the clutch and took off, driving us down the lit city streets of downtown San Francisco.