Sinner's Sanctity

I could hear his footsteps coming towards me but I didn’t dare say a word. He wasn’t there. It was my brain... I could hear all the voices in my head killing me every second with their daggers.

Don’t hurt him too...

You’re not going to survive...

He’ll eventually kill you too...

Stop playing around with people, Annalise.

I clutched my head.

I knew I had to get out there. Anyhow. It would drive me crazy if I stay here any longer. If I stay here, maybe his knife would end up in me next.

Slowly, I moved towards the edge of the bed, trying to make no noise. I stood up on my trembling legs and took a deep breath. I’m stronger than the stupid girl who went in the wrong direction, stronger than a psycho boy with a gun or knife. He was asleep right now, having no idea that instead of making me his, he pushed me miles away.

I pushed forward my legs and walked to the study table in the far corner of the room. On the messy table lay scattered pencils, pens and books. Instead of the organised, clean table it once was, now it lay there with all the books lying around, the stationary scattered on its surface. I sighed. Then, I took out the diary with trembling hands. It wasn’t mine, it was his. He called it a ‘journal’. I ran a hand over the smooth leather cover.

So many memories this single book stored. Silent tears rain down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them. I had held them back for too long.

In the dim moonlight, I managed to write only a few words but I knew these few words were enough for him, enough for everybody.

I turned once to look around. I could see his figure lying on the bed, the gun besides him. He was asleep peacefully. I was scared to even move. His word, his actions, all played in my head and my heart almost skipped a beat.

I kept the diary there on the table. I tried to suppress a sob. As I took a step, he moved. Immediately, I went to bed and pretended to be sleeping in his arms. I wiped away the stray tears on my face and closed my eyes as if I hadn’t moved an inch. I tried to breathe as slowly and peacefully as possible. But my heart was racing, scared from him. The adrenaline still raced through my veins making me alert of every single thing. I was ready to fight anything.

“Annalise?” he whispered. He touched my cheek with the back of his hand. I tried not to shudder, not to cry out.

“Hmm, Seb?” I mumbled as if asleep.

“You won’t ever leave me, right?” His voice was gruff and cracked, as if he was scared. Fear was such an unusual emotion for him.

I want to leave and I am going to.

“Never.” was all I said before I kissed him. I just wished that he would go to sleep again. And probably never wake up like all the people he killed.

He moved close to me and kissed me harder. I wanted to push him away but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I feared what he would do. I feared who he would kill next.

The gun was visible from the corner of my eye. I wondered how it worked, if I could use it for my defense...

An hour later...

He was fast asleep again. I moved slowly. I wore my clothes to cover my bare body. It was really cold. But I didn’t have any jacket or even a coat. Suddenly, I noticed the blue denim jacket lying on the floor. It was his but if I had to keep myself warm, then I needed it. I picked it up and sniffed. The sweet scent of the cologne filled my nose. I still couldn’t help but like it. I could’ve stood there all day but it was time to move on.

I noiselessly moved around the room and collected my books and two pair of clothes, stuffing it in my bag. I turned around again and again to see if he was still asleep.

He can’t wake up. I have to get out. I can’t stay. I can’t.

The room was such a mess. All the things scattered around the floor. It was tough walking around when all the things were so messed up. Finally, after I had packed my bag, I stopped.

I took a last look at him. He slept peacefully, he looked like an innocent angel but I knew he was far away from that. Behind that innocent mask lay a face that could kill all...

I put the bag on my shoulder. I collected all the cash I could find and ran downstairs.

The words from the diary roamed in my mind,

Don’t try to find me because you never would.

Annalise.

I ran as fast as I could. Away from this town, away from him.