Love and Loyalty {Part 1}

On the outside everything looked great, but on the inside unspeakable things happened. This was the 4th house we had moved to in the past 3 months. It was a small little house layered in chipped white paint. The palm trees were swaying in the breeze as I walked up to the steps. I lifted my hand pushing the overgrown branches out of my way. A pungent smell rushed past me almost knocking me onto the ground when I opened the front door. I slowly walked in leaving the door open to let the house breath. The house looked abandoned but the inside, you could tell that someone had live there before, just never really taken great care of it. The walls that were once white were now stained yellow from cigarette smoke. “I’m going to take the room back here you can have the one upstairs”, my mother yelled from the back room. I sighed as I climbed the steps to my room. The door creaked as I pushed it open. There I stood looking at my room not knowing how long I would be here. Over the years I worked to decorate my room and make it my own, but that slowly faded overtime. “I guess I need to open a window and get to work.” I said to myself.

A cloud of thin dust exploded from the bed as the boxes hit the mattress causing me to cough. “Mom where are the cleaning supplies and a vacuum?” I shouted from the top of the stairs. “The vacuum is still in the car as for supplies, get some money out my purse and go get whatever you need.” I grabbed my bag, ran down the stairs and dug her wallet out as she walked in. She took her wallet from me before handing me a few hundreds. “Here,” She said giving me the cash, “Fill up the car, get what you need, and get us some food.” I nodded as I headed out the door. “Oh, go by the liqueur store and get me my usual”, my mother yelled as I waved bye before getting into the car. I counted the money. My mother had given me $600 instead of $300. She always let me have what was left. If she didn’t, I would never have lunch money or be able to get clothes for school.

I took the extra $300 stuffing it into a secret pocket in my bag and left. “Mom I’m back,’ I yelled as I closed the door, “your stuff and change are on the coffee table.” “Keep the change Hun”, I heard her coughing from her bedroom. I picked up the change of $189 and some coins, then carried all the bags to my room. I pulled out one of the 5th bottle of vodka taking a big swig. About 3 hours later I had washed down the walls, swept and mopped the floor, and took a shower. Then slipped on my shorts and a tank top before finishing off the bottle. The sun finally peeked through my window around 2 pm that afternoon. My phone was going off like crazy. I pulled the cover over my head as it rang again. “UGH”, I huffed as I reached for my cell phone.

“WHAT!”, I shouted answering the phone. “What the hell is wrong with you?” the voice yelled back. “Sorry Brit”, I answered rubbing my eyes. “Long night?” Brit asked. “Yeah I got to bed around 5 this morning.” “Or maybe it is the hangover from the Vodka” Brit snapped back at me. “Meh could be if I ever got them” I answered her laughing. “Well get your drunk ass up we’ll be there in about 20 minutes” “But Brit” I tried to say before I heard the buzzing of the dial tone.

I would start a new school this year yet again, but at least this time I would be with my friends. I found a note on the coffee table; my mother would be home sometime tomorrow. “More like 10 minutes,” I said getting into Brit’s car. “Yeah well”, Brit jerked the Range Rover in reverse peeling out the drive way. “Come on let’s go shopping before the party tonight.” I could tell my mom was back to her normal stunts. She was partying every night and sleeping all day. Brit and the girls took me shopping for school clothes. I had no idea that in the next 24 hours, my life would change so dramatically.

I pulled up to the house late that Tuesday night with 2 boxes in the back seat. Those boxes contained everything I had collected in my 16 years on this earth. I sat there in my Yukon trying to figure out where it all went wrong. I had woken up early last Thursday afternoon like normal. My mother still wasn’t home from the night before, so I grabbed my keys and headed to the beach. I must have dosed off because I was awakened by some of the hotel staff. On the way home I stopped grabbing some food and rolling papers. My mom still wasn’t home. To me this was normal or at least my normal. I was excited about school this time and mom had promised that no matter what I could stay there until I graduated. I was sleeping when my mother had come into my room and dropped a large envelope on my pillow, then walked out without a word. I sat up in bed opening it slowly. It was a letter...

Loyalty

I thought about this for a long time. Fuck it you’re not a child anymore. Here is your fathers address and phone number, and some money for food and gas. You cannot stay here anymore. Love Mom

I just sat there dumbfounded. “Love mom, really” I said reading the letter over again. I didn’t know what to think or do at that point. I opened the big envelope to find a smaller one. I opened it slowly to find my social security card, a picture of me and my dad, and about a grand in cash. My mother had done some shady shit over the years, but this took the fucking cake. I just stood there holding the note as I dialed the number.

“Hello how may I help you?”, the man asked, “Um I’m looking for,” I said trying to read the back of the picture. “Don Jackson?”. “Yes, this is he,” he answered. “May ask who this is?”. “Loyalty”, I started to say when he cut me off. “Taylor,” my father slowly responded. “How do you know my last name?” I asked slowly. “I prayed that you would call one day”, he said with tears in his eyes.

I sat down on the edge of my bed. “Um, can you hold on for a few moments please.” I asked sitting the phone on the bed. I didn’t wait for an answer. I tossed my box on the bed, reached in grabbing my lighter and lit a blunt. then inhaled deeply holding it before exhaling. “Sorry about that someone was at the door”, I told him as I sat on the bed. “It’s OK,” he said slowly. “I’m just so happy you called me.” I heard him tell someone to hold all his meetings and calls for a while. “I’m sorry I can call back, I didn’t know you was busy”, I said hoping to be able to hang up. “No, no, it’s fine”, he told me quickly. “Loyalty, I don’t want to sound ungrateful because I really am not. I’m just wondering how you got my number and why now? I haven’t talk to your mother in years.” he asked, hoping not to scare me away. “Yeah about that. Um she wrote me a letter today and said I had to leave, told me to call you.” I said

“Sure, we would be happy to have you come live with us.” he said filled with hope. “Us?”, I asked slowly. “I’m married now with 7 kids.” he told me. “Seven” I mouthed. “Okay I guess I will come there I mean I don’t have anywhere else to go” I said hesitantly. “Great when will you be here?” “Well I got to start packing,” I said lying as I looked at the boxes on my dresser still half packed. “Um I guess some time Tuesday.” I said lying again. “Great Loyalty I can’t wait for you to meet everyone and to see you again. If you need anything between now and then call me” I hung up without saying goodbye.

I smoked the rest of my blunt before stuffing my dirty clothes into the box along with my new ones. Then I opened my Union Jack massager bag to make sure I had everything before tossing the envelope inside. After I packed my car, I stood in the doorway looking around. We had been here for almost a month. “Fuck it”, I said as I ran to my mom’s room. I opened all her dresser drawers until I found a couple small bottle of pills before tossing them onto the bed. There was a box in the closet labeled Loyalty, I grabbed a few things that were mine. I was about to close the closet door when I spotted the cash box. I opened the side table feeling around the top, then ripped the key off and opened the box. I knew that my mom held money for her drug friends. There was at least 20 Grand in there. I thought about just leaving it there, but I grabbed a few stacks off the top. “Fuck that bitch is sending me away and has never done nothing for me anyways. It’s probably was where she got the grand from to begin with.” So, I grabbed it all.

I stuffed the pills and money in my pockets before grabbing a couple of pounds, tossed the key back in the drawer before leaving. Then I walked into the kitchen grabbing a 5th of vodka, rum, gin, and tequila. Before I grabbed a picture off the wall slamming the door behind me. I didn’t know if I had locked the door or not, but I really didn’t care. I sat in my car thinking about the fucked-up life I had lived. I wasn’t hopeful that it would improve, but anything was better than this. I unlocked my phone.

Goth- B, I know you maybe still sleeping, but I’m on my way. See you when I get there.

I drove about 30 minutes to her house and walked in the front door to a full-blown party. I told Brit what had happened and left. Then I set out to go ahead to my dad’s, but I decided not to go, not yet anyway.

Goth- Brit can you get me a room for a few days?

Brit- Yeah where at?

Goth- Doesn’t matter, I just need a bed

Brit- Goth go to the villa. I’ll set it up.

Goth- Thanks Brit

I went inside to the front desk. “Miss. Taylor, we have been excepting you” the lady said. “Please follow me. We have the room stocked already, your sushi and Thai will be up shortly.” “Thank you,” I replied. “Really Brit,” I said as I walked in. Brit had set me up in my personal Villa. “Well guess it’s a bed”, I said to myself, when there was a knock at the door. I got my food before pulling out my pipe, a pound, my lighter, and raided the bar. “Well if I die tonight at least I’ll be happy” I leaned back on the bed and got lit. After I had eaten and drunk all the bottles in the bar. I tried to get some sleep. I sat straight up in bed as my fight or flight kicked in and I was in flight mode.

I ran through the villa grabbing my stuff, tossing the key card at the valet as I got in the car. After a few hours of driving with no detestation I pulled over.

Goth- Brit I’m sorry I couldn’t stay I love you and the crew so

much. Hope to see you again some day. Gothic

I didn’t realize that I was halfway through Mississippi until

I stopped to eat at around 4 pm that after noon. I got a room for a few hours and smoked a few blunts before getting back on the road. I had finally made it to Missouri early that next morning. There was a small hotel on the outskirts of Odessa. I just shook my head, “Fuckin Odessa really”. I checked the GPS again. I was exactly Thirty minutes away from my future and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to find out where it would take me. So, I decided to stay in the room until Tuesday evening. I stayed high until I left. Now I found myself sitting outside of this huge house. The thought had crossed my mind to just backing out the driveway and disappear without a trace. Which I was about to do when my dad opened the front door.

“Oh, Loyalty I am so happy you are here”, he said as he grabbed me, hugging me tight. “Hiya”. “Right let’s get you inside and I’ll show you to your room. I know you must be tired from driving”, Don told me as he grabbed a box out the back of car. I reached in grabbing my messenger bag and phone, before following to my new room. Don sat the box on the dresser, “Have you eaten anything?”, he asked. I nodded yeah. “I know this has to be hard on you. Take your time to settle in and we can talk about everything later if you want to. I am just so happy you are here. Okay if you need anything, I’ll be downstairs,” he said closing my door behind him.

I walked into the room to discover a dresser, a color length mirror, and Queen-sized bed. I looked in the mirror pulling a small strain of my hair behind my ear. My brown reddish hair was very curly and thick. It hung a half way down my back. I had olive colored skin, that tanned fast in the summer. My eyes where a honey brown color. My hair was the only real give away that I was mixed. I was about 5 foot 6, short but not that short. I was thick in all the right places, for the boys anyways. A couple of my friends had lived there before, but they had moved back to Florida. I had kept in touch and they told me about the high school and who the hot guys were. They told me about this one guy named Kell, but didn’t know if he was still there or not. I sighed as I walked towards my bed to start unpacking.