Summer and Winter

1944

I never thought my life would lead me to the top of a train, clinging for my life, as I watch my best friend die. I could die right now. I can’t think of any poetic last words for either of us, though. The only thing in my mind is Why the hell did I sign up for the army?

When I entered the United States Army, I thought I would do something. Maybe I wouldn’t be the greatest soldier that ever existed, but I would do my part to protect my country. To protect my family. And--most of all--I vowed to protect America for my best friend, Steve Rogers.

Oh, Steve. If you asked me to identify the kindest, most caring person I know, I would pick Steve in an instant. We grew up together. And, somehow, we stayed best friends. Me, the popular, charismatic athlete beloved by our peers. And Steve, the sickly boy who baffled God by somehow surviving scarlet fever, pneumonia, high blood pressure, asthma, and more heath conditions no one should be able to survive combined together like that. We looked odd together: Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. But we took on anything.

However, Steve is also the most stubborn, stupid, and dumbest person alive. Growing up. Brooklyn had plenty of boys you didn’t want to mess with. Even I stayed out of their way. Steve was the only person who tried to take them on. He lost every time he fought. I bailed him out when I could, and helped his mom treat him if we found him after the fighting ended. I would get after him, and Steve would promise he wouldn’t start fights he could not win. Until the following week.

Steve and I got through high school, somehow. We got through most of art school. And then we signed up for the Army together after Steve found a poster. We were both eager to do something for our countries. Eager to become soldiers.

Something happened, though, that derailed our plans--I made it in. I always knew I would. And I guess I always knew Steve wouldn’t make it in. But it still was a shock when Steve was turned away. For the first time, we were being sent down different paths.

I remember leaving. I have to admit, I was scared. Not for myself--I still was dreaming of glory. But Steve--how was he going to survive if I wasn’t there to protect him?

When the army turns you down, you are done. If you try to enlist--falsify information--and get caught, you are done. Of course Steve would be stupid enough to try to enlist again. And again. I think he tried to enlist in the Army sixteen times. I’m not sure, though--I lost track after seven. Finally, Steve made it. He got to be part of some secret program and became...strong. Fast. Impossibly good at everything. Without lifting a muscle, Steve became more than my equal. He became Captain America.

For the first time in our lives, Steve was there to rescue me when I got captured by HYDRA. And he kicked ass while rescuing hundreds of people. My whole regiment. I owed him my life. So, when he offered me the chance to join his troops--the Howling Commandos--I didn’t think twice. But I never fought with Captain America, unlike the others. I fought with Steven Grant Rogers, the boy fighting in an alley holding a trashcan lid. The dumbest man in Brooklyn. The best friend I have and will ever have.

We got right to work. One by one, we destroyed HYDRA’s science bases. Steve, though, deserves most of the credit. He was invincible. I just took care of stray soldiers with my rifle. I became a sniper, of a sort. Of course, Steve was stupid as ever. First mission we ever did, I saved Steve’s ass again. Shot down a soldier Steve didn’t see coming. To thank me, Steve saluted me, inadvertently revealing my position to all of the soldiers with guns. If I hadn’t been alert, I would have died.

All of our missions led us here. To Austria, high above the Danube River, while snow whips our faces. We have a chance to capture Arnim Zola--the scientist for HYDRA responsible for the deaths of hundreds. I can’t focus on our mission right now, however. The ground, so far away from us, is making me light-headed. I look at Steve.“Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone on Coney Island?”

Steve grins. “Yeah, and I threw up?”

“This isn’t payback, is it?”

“Now, why would I do that?” I shake my head and roll my eyes. We don’t have time for further conversation, though, as Gabe--one of our friends with us--finally gets HYDRA’s radio reception and waves us over.

“We were right. Dr. Zola’s on that train.” Gabe looks up at us. "A HYDRA dispatcher just gave him permission to open up the throttle. Wherever he’s going, they must need him bad.” He tuns off the machine.

Steve and I glance at each other. After a moment, Steve sighs and puts his helmet on. I follow him as we prepare to zipline across the gorge and land on the train when it approaches. Montgomery, our guy with binoculars, peers into the distance.

“We better get moving, Cap. They’re moving like the devil.”

Steve attaches his handhold to the cable. He turns and faces us. “We’ve only got a ten-second window. Miss that window, and you’re bugs on a windshield.”

“Better get moving, bugs!” Dum Dum, who’s standing behind Steve, gets us moving. Steve prepares to jump, waiting for the signal.

“Now!”

Steve jumps and zips across the cable. I step up, say a silent prayer, and jump. For a moment, it feels like I am falling. But I hear the sound of the cable holding, and I’m moving across behind Steve. I can hear the others far behind us, as well as the train beneath us. Montgomery was right--This train is in a hurry.

Steve jumps at the end of the cable and smoothly lands on top of a train car. I follow his lead. Behind us is another Commando, along with the others still on the cable. I let out a deep breath. We bugs made it this far. Now for the hard part.

Steve carefully runs along the surface of the train. I stay a close distance behind him. With the wind and snow and the speed of the train, it’s hard to keep my balance. To keep ourselves from falling, we have to shuffle our feet while running. If my little sisters could see me right now, they would be laughing at me. But it works pretty well.

Finally, we reach a ladder. Steve pauses, crouches, and carefully swings himself onto the ladder. I grab onto one of the bars, waiting for Steve to move down far enough for me to get on. Slowly but surely, we climb down and swing ourselves into the train car. Steve loads a pistol, while I shut the door behind us.

The train car isn’t exactly what I thought it would be like. It looks like the inside of a refrigerator. Down the middle of the car are racks of weapons. There is only one light at the top of the car, illuminating the weapons. With the sound of the rails beneath our feet, it feels as if we are in a different world. It’s eerie.

Steve and I walk on opposite sides of the rack. We both have guns loaded and ready for any soldiers dumb enough to take us on. When we reach the end of the car, Steve looks back at me before he walks through a small doorway into the next car. We make it through that car, until HYDRA finds us.

There’s the sound of a growl. Steve and I whip our heads around, and then the doors slam shut. Trapping Steve and me in two different train cars.

I still have my wits, though. I can hear the HYDRA soldier before I see him. I start firing before he does, but he has bulletproof armor and better weapons, forcing me to take cover behind a crate of bullets. Then there’s two of them.

Focus, Bucky. I jump out and fire a round at the two soldiers before jumping back behind the crate. I reload and fire again. From the train car ahead of us, I can hear a racket. I can only hope Steve’s still alive.

Reloading again, I fire at a soldier. Running across the train, I take refuge on the other side. I’m a good shot, but these soldiers are strong and better equipped. I just need to make them waste their rounds of ammunition.

There’s the sound of a blast from Steve’s car, and then there’s nothing. I clench my eyes shut. Don’t let that idiot be dead. There’s no further opportunity to fear for my friend, though, as the soldiers start firing at me again. I fire, crouch back behind the crates as the soldiers shoot, and fire at them again. There’s a shout from one of them, and he falls to the ground. Down to one soldier, but I have only one round left. I don’t know how much longer I can hold him!

That’s when the door is pried open by Steve. He nods at me, gesturing towards the door. However, the soldier is firing again. I point at him, and Steve comes to my aid. He picks up a crate and chucks it at the soldier, knocking the soldier into the wall. The soldier collapses.

I scramble up. “I had him on the ropes.”

“I know you did.” Steve and I start heading towards the next car, but we hear the sound of a HYDRA blaster. Steve jumps in front to me and thrusts his shield in front of us. “LOOK OUT!”

Steve deflects the blast of energy, which rips a hole in the side of the train car. Steve is thrust against the wall by the blast, leaving him dazed. I pick up his shield and reload my gun. It’s just me right now. I fire twice, but I’m no match against the blasters. The soldier fires at me.

I fly backwards, towards the hole in the car. But the train is blown hard by a sudden gust of wind to the right. I’m able to grab onto one of the racks, saving me from a certain death. Steve, however, was running across the train to my aid when the gust came. He is knocked off-balance, and trips. Horrified, I watch helplessly as Steve falls towards the hole in the wall.

“NO!”

Steve is blown out, but I can hear the sound of him grabbing something. He’s safe. For now. I pick up his shield again and chuck it at the soldier. This time, the soldier is knocked backwards and hits his head on the floor. He’s down for the count.

With the soldier taken care of, I run to Steve’s aid. “Steve!” I peer through the hole. Steve had grabbed onto a piece of metal and was barely holding on to it. Carefully, I climb out through the hole and move myself towards him. “Hang on!”

“Do I have any other choice!” Steve grunts. The metal is weakening. I reach out my arm.

“Grab my hand!”

Steve is dangling for dear life. A gust of wind comes again, rocking the train to the right. I’m able to hold on to the train.

Steve isn’t.

“STEVE!”