Living the Dream

"Fucking shoot, you worthless piece of shit! Fuck!" With that I bolted, forcing my aching muscles to carry me further. I flung my leather jacket into the dark abyss, allowing my sore feet to push further into the forest. My gun still refused to shoot as I crashed helplessly into a tree. Shit! Turning around, I squinted into the dark. It was silent, too silent. The distant sound of the motorway was overly quiet. Where am I?

The moon was just barely visible over the autumn fog as I shrank down against a nearby tree. I was too far in. I've never been this far in before. Fuck! Shit! I need to find my bearings. Shit! I'm gonna fail; I'm gonna fail! Fuck! Kill me now! Realising the stupid situation I was in, I stood from my crouched position, drying the tears that had streamed down my face. Looking away from the moon, that smiled happily down at me with my brother's loving features, I pushed my gun into the air.

"You bastard, you took my brother, my mum, my dad. I have nothing left, so take your fucking go. Have a shot! But you motherfucker aren't gonna find my little sister. She is well fucking hidden and you will never find her..." I cried, shooting my gun multiple times into the air. A small bullet zinged quickly past my forehead, clipping my ear only slightly. Blood poured down my back, covering my white blouse a crimson colour. Fuck! Aiming my gun in front of my face, I moved slowly, sneaking back the way I came. I shot a couple of times into the darkness but was met with no reward, no hurk, no blood, no death, Fuck!

Then I saw him, cowering against a big tree, hidden by it's dangling branches. His hood was covering most of his face but I could still make out his round head and large nose. His arm hung unnaturally against his chest. Hearing me, he turned, arm swinging and hitting the tree, like a doll.

"Fuck!" he shouted, moving to hold his injured arm. Picking up his automatic gun, he aimed it at my head. I did the same, aiming right between his eyes.

"If this is where we die fucko,... then you die first..!" With that, I sent my bullet flying, straight past the long leaves. I closed my eyes, waiting for the sound of crumpled flesh but instead, I was met with a laugh. It was deep and lost, like a wanderer. I heard some leaves crunch before feeling a barrel pressed against my forehead.

"No bitch... this is where you die!" Shit!

Simulation Failed! Grade D, Effort Grade 3. Leave your weapon in the armory and exit through the-

"Yes, I know, exit through the door marked fucking exit. don't take my weapon, make sure to hand the gun to the assistant, come back tomorrow and try again. Fuck you simulation and your robotic ass motherfucking voice. Go to hell!"I walked out, chucking the worthless, chunk of metal they called a gun at the skinny assistant. Feeling the anger rage inside of me, I turned back to the room.

"Oh, yeah, and fuck you and your effort grade 3. go and suck a bag of dicks, you asshole!" Feeling ever so slightly cocky, I ran into the waiting room and jumped onto Dillon, my boyfriend and resident best friend. He gripped my waist as I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled, face lighting up like the day we met.

"Another fail, really Sasha. You need to work this out. I wont be able to leave here happy if I know there's a chance I wont be able to find you in the living world." I don't think he truly realised what he said but I had. I slid off his lap and held my head in my hands, feeling them shaking way more than they had in the simulation.

"When?" I asked with probably more aggravation than there should have been in the question. He looked at me confused until he realised what he had said and suddenly, he looked very guilty, like a deer in the headlights.

"Two days." he said, looking down at his feet, "I passed last night." As he spoke, it was like my world was crumbling around me. I was going to be alone. Luna and Connor had passed the day before and were expected to return to the living world tomorrow. I had been so happy for them, knowing that they now had a second chance in the world and were taking their love with them. However, now I was not so happy. I was the only one who would not return. I should've known.

I should've just died four years ago. It would have saved all the stress and the heartbreak I was feeling in this moment. I could have just slipped away knowing that I tried my best.

"I wanted to tell you as soon as it happened but you had gone to sleep. I don't want to go but I have no choice. Please, believe me..." I knew the words he spoke were true but I still couldn't shake the feeling that everyone else was going to return to the real world and I was going to die.

"It's ok. I get it. I know you deserve your freedom and I hope I will find you in the waking world." I cuddled back up to Dillon, feeling the tears fall from my eyes. It was a slow minute as the situation dawned on me but instead of making it sad, it just made me more determined. I could feel the self doubt vanish as I became more and more angry.

I will get out of here before they pull the life support.

I'm not going down that easy.

I refuse to die.