The Path I Take

Coffee in one hand and the book I've been dying to finish in the other. The gentle soft rain creates a melody that intertwines with the wind as it howles throughout the evening. Once again I'm left alone with my thoughts. I couldn't think of any other words to describe this moment as less than 'perfection'.

Who am I kidding? This weather is literally the only thing that's stopping me from doing anything at this point. Being the introvert that I am, I wouldn't mind, but not today of all days, just so help me why did it have to be today!!!

Just to clear the confusion firstly, Hi I'm Allison Veronica Knight, it's a pleasure to meet you, and welcome to the story of my life. I'm 16 turning 17 soon

I'm 'round about 5'4, mid-length naturally brown wavy hair with green eyes and a hint of hazel flecks that changes with the lighting due to the setting I am in, the weather, or just my mood in general.

I was diagnosed with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) in other words Split Personality Disorder since the age of 10. To make things slightly more interesting I have Ombrophobia- Fear of the Rain. Cool right? trust me it's not.

Currently, I live at The Orphanage for Girls in Hoboken, New Jersey. Not one of the most privileged, I know, but it's not like I can complain. Trust me when I say that anything beats having to be in and out of hospitals for most- no I'm sorry I meant the majority of my life.

To start, even though I already have, I'm just your basic average high school student. Good grades, a very limited amount of friends, clearly no family and honestly, I'm fine with it just being me and Victoria. Just to clear the air, she has a lot of abbreviations such as Vicky, Vic, or just V for short.

You're probably wondering who she might be and to be quite frank with you I'm not so sure myself. She's a lot of things, but what I can say is that she's the total opposite of who I portray myself to be.

Third Pov and Off-script

"I'm a hardworking and dedicated student-"

"Cut the bull Allie," says Victoria as she rolls her eyes dramatically.

"I'm pretty sure nobody wants to hear you being conceited right now."

"Do you always have to steal my spotlight?" says Allison as she whines.

"Don't be a baby about it."

"Do you always have to be this rude?" says Allie letting out a breath of air, clearly frustrated.

"Do you always have to continuously ask questions?" says Vicky as she raises an eyebrow, arms folded across her chest mocking Allie.

"The people are waiting Allie, they don't have all day."

"Can you just give me my space and let me explain my story!"

"You mean our story," said Vicky as she corrected Allie.

"Yeah, that's what I meant now, out you go shoo," says Allison.

"Try chasing me out like a fucking bird again and then the only problem you'll have besides me being here is getting up from your favorite hospital bed," says Victoria clearly annoyed.

"You're right, I'm sorry now back to our viewers... where was I? Oh! I'm a hard work-"

"Just, shut the fuck up."

"Okay fine, how about we just get into it, and then they'll see how I'm the nicer and most loved one," says Allie as she smiles.

"Just get on with the damn story," says Victoria as she spins on her heels, about to leave the room.

"Can you bring me a cup of coffee on your way out?" says Allie as Victoria leaves the room.

"No, okay then I'll just get it myself!" says Allie as she calls after Victoria and receives no response.

"Oh and when you mocked me, your sentence made no sense!" says Allison as she screams from her bedroom.

"I know!" said Victoria as she groans in response.

"Oh! , now you want to respond" scoffs Allie as she huffs in response, arms folded as she pouts.

"Allison Veronica Knight, the damn story!"

"Right, yes Sir--I mean Ma'am, I'm on it."

---------
Allie's Pov

Have you ever wondered, what it would be like to live as someone else for a day? Walking amongst a crowd of people wondering what they might be thinking at that exact moment. If you could go back in time and change anything and everything you'd like, hoping that just maybe, perhaps it would alter the outcome and things would be different.

What would be the one thing you'd like to change?

If you're like me there would be an endless amount of possibilities racing through your mind right now, but if it were any other day then perhaps we'd be alike.

Would you like to know my answer? Okay, I admit that was a rhetorical question --my bad.

Well for one I would first change the weather, like who wants to sit at a window staring at the rain on their birthday!! Oh, right I forgot to mention that, today's my 17th birthday. Happy birthday to me --note the sarcasm. As you probably figured out by now, myself and I have some issues with the rain. We have a lil something called...history, that will not be discussed right now. I've concluded that we aren't exactly friends and won't be any time soon.

As I'm staring out into the city before me, all I can see is that the sky that was once clear blue is now that of an ashen color. A mix of grey and white forms in the sky as it draws closer and closer to another. A perfect hazy day that restricts me from having this day all to myself.

A sound of muffled screams echoes in my ears as people run for cover. Umbrellas are being opened, seemingly similar to that of the colors of a rainbow, as I look down at the variety of colors and patterns before me.

At first, the rain is nothing but gentle taps against my window, but then it intensified. "I'll take that as my time for bed" I mutter as I gather myself from the wooden cross-back chair that I am seated on.

Coffee in one hand and the book 'Lord of the flies' in the other, I delicately place both items on the seat as I stand and make my way to my warm and comfy blankets in the comfort of my bed.

Oh and please note when I stated "..and the book I've been dying to finish in the other." That was sarcasm. We were assigned to read this book in particular before our summer vacation ended and I decided to do some last-minute reading.

Don't judge me, procrastination happens to everyone, or at least I think it does.

I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that I'm not allowed to go out, the weather, or the fact that I'm sitting alone in the four corners of my room, speaking to myself with nobody but Ralph and Piggy for company - the two characters in the first chapter of my book.

"Welp, I at least have to do something for the day" was all I said before I got up and turned on the old-black radio that's placed in the corner of my windowsill. I then had a dance party to the following songs: Shower by Becky G, Still look Pretty by Daya, Stereo hearts, Umbrella by Rihanna, oh! and just my luck no sarcasm intended, all Rnb's playlists were on, well not all but a few.

As the day slowly comes to an end, my room is now filled with my clothes scattered all around it. Jewelry on my bed, make-up caked on my face, and all my heels are in line before me. I guess I got carried away and ended up playing dress-up, along with having a live concert with nobody but myself for company. No offence Ralph and Piggy, but you guys weren't invited this time around. My girl Beyonce decided to back me up with her song Single ladies in the background.

"If you like it then you sure to put a ring on it!!" echoed throughout my room, as I swayed my hips, jumped up and down and used my brush as a mic. "I'm surprised nobody came busting down my door by now, anyway... who cares?" That was all I said before I burst out in a fit of laughter.

3 hours later and after pretending to be heartbroken during my amazing one-ma- no I'm sorry woman, well girl show, I settled on three more songs for my finale before ending my show for tonight.

"So since I'm not your everything, how about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you, baby I won't shed a tear for you, I won't lose a wink of sleep cause the truth of the matter is replacing you is so easy!!"

"Thank you, thank you ladies and gentlemen" was all I said as I took a bow in front of my non-existent audience.

As I took the bow, I glanced around my room to be reminded yet again that I was born into this world alone and I might just as well die alone. Death is inevitable for everyone.

Someone once told me that life is a beautiful lie and that death is nothing but a painful truth. It's one of the only things that are promised to us. I guess I haven't thought much about it until now and it finally makes much more sense.

I sighed shaking my head. "Allison, get your head together, you're starting to sound like Vicky. Life has so much more to offer, more than what you realize. You will make it through all storms, and tribulations that life has planned to throw your way. What you're facing right now is a simple test of how strong you can be. It is preparing you, okay?" I reassured myself as I stood in front of my glass cupboard door.

I turned around and started picking up every one of my items. I folded it, put it on the shelves, in boxes, or hung it on the hangers where it belonged. I took out any random pajamas I could find and stalked off to the bathroom, allowing the cold water from the showerhead to run along my skin and shake off this bad feeling that I have.

Before I knew it, I was out of the shower, in bed, with my digital music player in my hand listening to one of my favorite songs in times like these, "Just missing you" by Emma Heesters. I closed my eyes and my mind started spiraling out of control. I thought of everything. My life currently at the orphanage, my family, my dad, my mom, Vicky. What I could've done to change that day. Before I knew it I was crying like a baby just like Vicky had said earlier. My eyes are puffy, my heart feels heavy, and my tears are flowing as smoothly as a stream down my now bright red cheeks. I don't know how to make this stop. How does it hurt this much, why does it? What did I do to deserve this?

"I miss you mom" was all I whimpered as I held onto my grey continental pillow tightly to stop myself from shaking or making too much noise. I covered my mouth as the pain felt unbearable and my sobs grew louder.

Reaching underneath my pillow, I took out my black diary and blue pen. I know it's not the safest hiding spot, but nobody ever comes into my room so it should be okay.

I slowly gather myself to sit in an upright position, leaning against the wall for support. Through foggy eyes, I begin jotting down every thought and feeling that penetrated my mind. I've been writing since I was 9. I found it more comforting and trusting, jotting down my feelings on a piece of paper than actually having to explain it to somebody. It's just easier that way... Well least that's how I feel. I know that everyone is different.

As I'm done writing, each word slowly grows more painful than the next. I closed the book and gathered myself from my bed, arms wrapped around my frail body. I silently make my way over to my wardrobe and hid my diary beneath a pile of clothing.

I then made my way over to my light switch that was just beside the entrance of the door. I turned the doorknob to find that the door had been locked. I sighed, shook my head, and flipped the switch. It was now just me and the darkness that was ready to consume me present in the room. No sound besides the gentle rainfall on the outside which helped lull me to sleep as I dragged my feet back to bed. Sniffles escaped my lips as I laid my head on the soft continental pillow, practically hugging it and allowing the darkness to consume me. I have no fight in me at this point. All I want to do is sleep and that's what I did. I gave in.

~~~~~~~~~

Flashback

Mommy?" I said, taking in her sweet scent of lavender that just so happened to be radiating off her skin, revealing to me that she had just gotten out of a shower. Water dripped down her gorgeous, jet-black hair.

"Yes, sweetheart," She says as she moves closer to me. Each movement is slow, yet graceful as she makes her way towards me. Towel in one hand reaching to dry her naturally straight hair and brush in the other to make sure each strand has been combed thoroughly. She had always been self-conscious about the way she looks, dressed, or even smells at times.

"Allison Veronica Knight, you know you can't go out looking like that." She would say with a look of dread written all over her features as I would stuff my face full of chocolate, ensuring that my clothing had gotten a little taste of that sweet, creamy flavor that melted as soon as it hit my tongue. If there's anyone I would want to be as beautiful as, it would without a doubt be my mom.

Her ocean eyes that's filled with so much love as she slowly tilts her head upwards to stare at me.

A small smile creeps onto her face as I look up at her from underneath the mountain of blankets I had wrapped myself in to keep out the cold.

"I miss Daddy..." I said staring at her as she draws herself nearer to me, finally sliding in from under the covers, pulling me out of my daze and towards her chest, capturing my full attention.

Me too sweetheart." She replies as her smile starts to falter and by the looks of it she had seen that I noticed. "Don't worry, he'll be back soon just like he promised?" she says, burying her face in my hair, whilst inhaling sharply. "Bu-but he's taking longer than he said he would", tears welling up and slowly starting to stain my cheeks, trying to find comfort in my mother's arms."It's only just a few more days and you will be back in daddy's arms, you're my strong little girl aren't you."