Celeb Status: Liam
“
And in other news, Hollywood It Boy, Liam Cohen, finds himself in hot water again, but this time, it’s a side most of us have never seen…”
“Holy shit. You’re good at that,” I said with a breathless chuckle as I readjusted myself back into my boxers and attempted to shake off the buzz of my release.
The blonde, kneeling in front of me, daintily wiped the corners of her mouth like it hadn’t just been wrapped around an eight inch cock. (Conservative estimate if you ask me, but I’m not here to brag.) “I’ve heard that a time or two.”
“I believe it,” I said with another laugh as my phone buzzed under my thigh. Not sure how I’d ended up sitting on my hoodie; but here we were.
Meredith.
Shit.
Usually when my manager called before noon, it didn’t mean good things.
“Sorry, sugar. Looks like I’ve gotta head out.”
Blondie blinked at me in confusion. “Are you joking?”
I shrugged, stepping back into the sweats I’d been donning when I walked in the door. “Duty calls.”
Blondie narrowed her eyes. It was a bit frightening really. Probably would be more so if I admitted I didn’t remember her name. “I thought you wanted to hang out.”
Sure. I’d said that.
Hadn’t meant it. But I said it.
“Rain check?” I asked with a smirk, zipping up my hoodie.
“Go fuck yourself, Liam. You do this all the time,” Blondie snapped. “Lose my fucking number.”
“If that’s what you want.”
It was no skin off my back. Not like I didn’t have a whole phone book of other women I could call if the need struck. And the need would definitely strike… probably later that night.
Let’s be serious: as one of the current “It Boys” in Hollywood, I could walk my ass down almost any street in America and pull if I wanted to. Was it a bit egotistical? Sure, but it was the truth.
And now I was slated to put on a pair of spandex tights and save the world from some computer animated evil-doers, so I could only imagine my dating pool would only grow.
And I loved every second of it.
“Look, sugar…”
“Stop calling me that!” Blondie screeched. “Get out!”
I winced and dodge the throw pillow she tossed at me as I made my way to her front door. “I’m sor…”
“GET. OUT!”
The second I stepped over the threshold the door slammed behind me, damn near shoving the doorknob some place I really didn’t want explored.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I jogged down the stairs and headed toward my refurbished Jeep. The thing was older than me, but I’d basically rebuilt her myself. She was my baby.
My pride and joy.
The only talent I had other than acting.
Well, not the ONLY talent, if you catch my drift.
Ducking under the roll bar, I climbed in and fired up the engine, the gritty voice of Stevie Nicks immediately hitting my ears. I put the car into gear and headed toward what I could only assume would be another scolding from my manager.
But I didn’t care.
What more could a guy need? I’d just blown a major load down a cute girl’s throat. I had my Jeep, I had the gorgeous California day, and I had Stevie singing in my ear. This day was going perfectly.
As I continued my journey down the highway, it suddenly hit me:
Nicole.
That was her name.
“I don’t understand how MY dick pic getting leaked makes ME the bad guy.”
“Liam,” my manager, Meredith, said with a disdainful look from the other side of her oversized oak desk. “It’s not the dick pic that’s the problem. It’s the fact that you sent it to TWO of your costars, at the same fucking time.”
I tried to disguise my snicker. “Thought maybe they’d like to share.”
Meredith rolled her enormous green eyes. “I seriously don’t get paid enough for this shit.”
“Come on, Mere!” I exclaimed, no longer able to contain my amusement. “Guys send dick pics every day. Let’s not act like I’m the first.”
“The difference is, Liam, you’re a celebrity. You’re currently working on a film with fucking Disney. Do you really think Disney wants their latest superhero flashing his wang for the world to see?”
“It wasn’t for the WORLD,” I pointed out. “It was for my two, very hot, very flirtatious costars. I mean it’s not like I sent it to every woman in my phone. Then we’d have a real issue.”
“This is a real issue, Liam! You need to take this shit seriously! I can’t keep having the PR team clean up your messes when you just continuously make more!”
I heaved a sigh and sank back into the royal purple chair across from her. “So, what’s the plan?”
“I honestly don’t know, Liam,” Meredith sighed. “Obviously we can clean up a leak, but the fact that you were playing with both of your female costars and now the entire universe knows it… not sure that’s something I can fix.”
“I wasn’t playing with them. They knew the score. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that I don’t do relationships.”
“You can not do relationships and still not make yourself look like a total fuck boy. You’re twenty-eight, Liam. This isn’t high school.”
“Believe me, I wasn’t this popular in high school,” I chuckled.
“Is that what this is? You partaking in all the debauchery you never did in your younger days?”
“No…”
Meredith interrupted me, apparently uninterested in an actual answer. “Look, I like you, Liam. You’re a douchebag, but you don’t mean any harm…”
“Thanks, I think…”
“But you’re about to tank your own career. I genuinely don’t know how to spin this to make you not look like a piece of shit. I really don’t.”
I sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, alright? I had a momentary lapse of judgement…”
Meredith burst into a ringing laughter, actually clutching her stomach like I’d just told the best joke she’d ever heard. “Momentary lapse?” she repeated, swiping at tears that had formed in the corners of her eyes. “It might be a momentary lapse if this was the first time this bullshit has happened, but it’s not.”
I felt my jaw clench, genuinely growing annoyed with the situation. “What does my sex life have to do with my career anyway? Why is this such a big deal? Why do you all care about who I fuck so much?”
“It’s not about caring about who you fuck, Liam. It’s about having a little decorum about it. You’re the one prancing around with a new girl on your arm every day of the week. You’re the one photographed stumbling out of a new club every weekend. Two weeks ago the paps caught you puking in a fucking alley!”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “It’s Hollywood. You think I’m the only one?”
“No, but you are the only one with a fucking contract with a company ran by a fucking mouse in red underpants!” Meredith was shouting by the time her last word fell. “Do you understand that they could drop you over this shit, Liam? Do you fucking get it?”
“We already started rehearsals…”
“IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER!” Meredith exclaimed. “You signed a contract, with a family-oriented production company. There are behavioral clauses. They can’t have their newest superhero’s dick floating around the fucking internet for children to see!”
I kept working my jaw back and forth, hearing the faint click that rattled in my ears with each swipe. It was my one tip-off that I was actually nervous. That I was actually thinking that I might be in trouble. It was the only nervous tick I had never been able to rid myself of.
Meredith shook her head and sighed, folding her sweater covered arms over her chest. “Get out of here. Go home and don’t cause me any trouble for the rest of the week. I’m fucking begging you, Liam. Just… be good for fucking once in your fucking life.”
“What are we…”
“I don’t know, Liam. I honestly don’t. I’m going to have to talk to the producers and see if I can smooth this over, but you really need to think about whether getting your dick wet is worth losing everything you’ve been working for.”
“I mean… I know the answer to that…”
“Then fucking start acting like it,” Meredith barked so loud it made me jump.
Damn. Why did I suddenly feel like a kid in trouble with his parents?
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not sure that’s gonna fix anything this time, Li.”
“Mere…”
“Get outta here. I need to focus on cleaning up your mess.”
She dismissed me with a flick of her wrist as she went back to focusing on her laptop. I sat there frozen for a few beats before I realized she really did want me to leave. Then, a bit dejectedly, I climbed to my feet and headed back out to my car, definitely in a worse mood than had been in no more than forty minutes earlier.
By three o’clock that afternoon, I was drunk, by myself, out by my pool. Which, honestly, had been my plan for the afternoon anyway, but I was having a lot less fun than I thought I’d be. Stupid Meredith.
Okay. It wasn’t Mere’s fault. It was mine. I definitely knew that, but it didn’t mean I had to like it. I mean, I was young! I wasn’t even thirty and I was fucking famous! It’s not like I was the only person in LA out sowing my oats, ya know? I was just having fun. There was no reason it needed to be a worldwide event, and it sure as shit shouldn’t have been grounds for me losing my job, but… here I was. Drunk at three on a Tuesday.
I was just about to doze off in my lawn chair as I heard tires pulling up to my back gate. I immediately snapped to attention. No one pulled around back, not unless I was throwing a party or something. There was a full guest house In back, which really was only used when my friends got too drunk to go home (or needed some… privacy) but I hadn’t even invited anyone to join me this afternoon, so hearing rides and then doors and then voices was more than a little confusing.
As I neared the gate, I spotted my best friend Joey climbing out of a Uhaul. “What the fuck is going on?” I asked in a groggy voice.
Joey looked at me like I’d sprouted a second head. “You’re joking, right?”
I watched as his girlfriend Sadie hopped out of the passenger seat and tugged down her creeping up cut off shorts. Sadie was a total babe. Petite, with curves in all the right places. She had an absolutely solid rack, an even better ass, and a treasure map of tattoos littering her tan skin. Joey and I had met her on the same night out, and made it a little competition to see who could win her attention. Joey obviously won, and now my favorite wingman/partner in crime, was sidelined from the game.
“Lookin’ hot, Sade,” I smirked, sliding my sunglasses to the tip of my nose to gaze at her.
Sadie met my eyes with a droll stare. “Lookin’ like you need a shower, Li.”
“Ouch,” I snickered, returning my Raybans to their rightful place and taking a swig from the sun-warmed beer In my hand. “Seriously, though. What the fuck are you doing here?”
Joey rolled his eyes and tugged on his almost caramel colored hair. We both had natural dark locks, but his grew blonder in the sun. “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “How fucking drunk are you?”
“Just enjoying my day, bro.”
“Ally is moving in today,” Joey stated, his dark eyes staring at me intensely.
“Huh?”
“My sister. Ally. You said she could move into the guest house while she was getting settled.” Joey watched me, waiting for the moment my realization hit, but it wasn’t happening. I honestly had no idea what he was talking about.
Eventually he got tired of my stupefied stare and threw his hands in the air. “Seriously, Liam?! We’ve been talking about this for months!” Joey shouted. “Goddammit!”
“Chill out, man. It’s not a big deal…”
“My little sister is moving into your guest house and you don’t even remember okaying it!” Joey exclaimed. “What kind of drugs are you fucking on?!”
“You know I don’t mess around with that stuff.”
“I’m not sure being drunk 24/7 is better,” Sadie stated, folding her arms over her silicone filled chest.
I just rolled my eyes at her. “It’s fine. Abby is more than welcome.”
“ALLY. Her name is fucking ALLY.”
“She hates being called Ally,” Sadie argued as Joey paced. “Her name is Allegra.”
“I’ve called her Ally since the day she was born.”
“Don’t get an attitude with me because your bestie is a dumpster fire,” Sadie stated In a warning tone. “She asked you not to call her Ally last Christmas and it’s about time you start respecting that.”
“Jesus Christ, Sadie. I think we’ve got bigger things to worry about right now.”
Just as Joey’s sentence ended, a dark purple Honda Civic pulled up behind the Uhaul. It looked like something out of one of those Furious movies: all sleek and tricked out. It was a nice car.
But the car had nothing on the long pair of tanned legs that stepped out. And it had less than nothing on the ass in the tiny pair of cutoffs, or the chest in the cut up Stones Tshirt.
“What’s going on, friends?” the girl I could only assume was my best friend’s little sister asked with a sparkling grin peaking out between dark red painted lips.
I felt my heart racing in my chest as she tucked a few errant strands of her black, bobbed hair behind her ears.
SHIT.
If this was Joey’s little sister, I was well and truly fucked.
