What is your opinion?
Great story
"This is my first time (ever) writing one of these, so I hope I'll be helpful. I loved how this story first starts off like a confession at the beginning; it's a neat trick because it pulls you in, makes you want to know why anyone would think the narrator is crazy, and his need for redemption. Though it loses some of its momentum during the second paragraph. When the narrator starts to talk about Tony, however, the story starts to get back on track. The flashbacks to how their friendship was when they were younger helps give a vivid picture as to character and how much emotional damage the narrator and his mother went through during his friendship with Tony. Plus, I loved the line, "Whiskey wasn't doing it (for me?) anymore". There are some paragraphs in the burglary scene that I think would have been rearranged so that they flow a lot better than they do. For example, when the narrator talks about being spared and burning his clothes later before he finally makes a run for it. So, apart from a few glitches with grammar, it was an entertaining read."
Disappointing
"The story was told with a lot of raw energy and passion, a very true reflection of people who frequent "the other side of the street" to put it delicately. There was truth in the narrator's words, and my heart went out to him. There are so many people like him in the world - living in a vicious cycle of poverty, drugs and depression. The plot of the story was terrible. Sorry to be so harsh, but it really was cringe-worthy. The escapades with Tony were strange at best and the old man's cannibalism was the cherry on top of the crazy. Drugs were involved and distorted his memories, yes, but even then, such an event was atrocious. The vomiting at the end was the only thing which stood out for its symbolic importance. The grammar was even more disappointing. Granted, the narration was meant to be colloquial, but some things were still inexcusable, prime among them the use of "cos". I would like to advise everyone to refrain from writing stories set in colloquial tone. Writing is nothing without grammar and punctuation, and it's infuriating when the author's excuse for lack thereof is "informal narration". The twist at the end was nicely done. I had been wondering who he was recounting everything to. There's a lot of room for improvement."
