Her Diary

3rd January 1988

Never be afraid of change. You may lose something good but you may gain something even better. - Unknown.

Dear Diary,

New diary, new year - the family tradition continues.

I’m unsure where to start...

My Christmas break was as torturous as ever but I’m glad to be back home. Yes, home. Yale is my home not that other place with controlling parents, debutant gowns and talks of yachts and trust funds. I am only just working out what I want from college, what I want from my life, but I already knew along time ago that I want everything far away from them.

Lucas is cheating on me. He won’t come out and say it but it is blindingly obvious. He seemed torn during the time we spent together and he was waiting by the telephone at his parents’ house in case the call was for him. I’m not sure for how long it has been going on but I’m positive he is. What is really depressing is I can’t blame him. He picked Princeton I picked Yale. When I say picked of course I was the only one out of the two of us with the choice. Lucas was only accepted to Princeton. So I did this, I chose for us, for our relationship. I chose to put the distance between us, granted only 149 miles but distance nonetheless.

Maybe if he finally gets the balls to actually break up with me my mother will stop picking out China patterns. It is bad enough I attended four debutant balls and two cotillions with him. My mother has been waiting since the day we graduated high school for Lucas to propose to me.

If only she wasn’t so focused on my love life and social standing she could realise that I’m not studying literature like a good little rich girl but actually anthropology.

Change. It won’t happen unless you make it.

Always, P

Jane looks up from the diary. She had been pulled into her subconscious. Blinking herself back to reality she looks around at her surroundings. The stacks are still in their normal place. Most of the books are still covered with a thick layer of dust and as normal it is quiet but not ‘serial killer’ quiet.

Jane isn’t sure what a book like this is even doing here hidden underneath a shelf of books about Ancanthopholis.

Whatever the hell that is...

It took four months, six parks, twenty-one trees, fourteen libraries and eleven footballs to the head but Jane finally found it, the ultimate study spot.

Sterling Memorial Library, the twelfth floor in the back corner where the stacks reach the ceiling and the books have obscure titles.

Sure, Yale have actual designated study areas but none of them work for Jane. It is either too quiet, like eerily so or there is an air conditioner vent in an awkward place.

Jane had been making herself comfortable in her ultimate study spot when the small black leather bound book grabbed her attention.

The first entry was on the third of January close to thirty years ago and from a quick glance it looked as though the book had roughly a thousand pages, though not all had writing on them, and ‘P’ documented her time at Yale.

This confused Jane.

Who was P?

Why did she leave her diary here?

Is she looking for it?

Pushing her criminal law textbook aside Jane turns to the next entry.

5th January 1988

Imperfections are attractive when their owners are happy with them. - Augusten Burroughs.

Dear Diary,

During my phone call with Lucas last night I heard him and his friends having a party in the background. It made me realise just how different we are. I have always hated that part of my parents’ life, the functions, the social obligation but Lucas loves it. He thrives off the attention.

On the way back from the pay phone I stopped at the football field, it was only about eight in the evening but the football training was in full swing.

I had wondered to myself whether the football season was actually still going and laughed at the fact that my dad would kill me for not knowing such a thing. What is worse is considering all my years at Yale I’m still yet to attend a game.

Even though training was going on the field was quiet. I took a seat on the bleachers pulling out my textbook. Setting it in my lap I put on my glasses and opened the book to the dog-eared page.

It was almost the perfect place to study, almost as good as my regular spot. I got through three long chapters before I was interrupted.

A couple of the football players interrupted me. One cleared his throat standing over me while the others just watched from near by. From a brief glance I almost gasped at the sheer attractiveness of the footballer standing over me. He was covered in a layer of sweat still wearing his pads but attractive nonetheless. But I have a boyfriend, no matter how sucky our relationship is and I definitely don’t need the distraction. I ignored him as I packed up my books leaving my glasses on my face.

Whilst my dad is an avid football fan like any true American male, I have never really seen the point. Men in my family’s social circle don’t like women who talk anyway so what it the difference if I watch it or not.

The same footballer, the one who originally caused the interruption ran after me asking for my name. I said nothing and he continued running to catch up with me holding his hand outstretched. He told me his name. Matt.

I rolled my eyes ignoring his outstretched hand and continued on my path back to my apartment.

I won’t return to the football field to study no matter how much work I got done. I don’t need to worry about seeing Matt again.

Always, P

From the way ‘P’ wrote Jane can tell straight away they are from different worlds. Whilst they may be very similar personality wise Jane can just imagine the beautiful smart woman ‘P’ is. Jane isn’t sure what year P was as she didn’t make it clear in her writing. But since she had declared a major maybe she was in her Junior year, or even Senior when she was writing. Jane pictures the beautiful, most likely blonde, senior carrying her diary securely in her hands whilst walking the Memorial quadrangle.

Jane is the plain one in her family. Her brothers and her dad are gorgeous humans inside and out. She knows this. They are too good looking for their own good. Her dad, Andrew Carter is a small town mechanic and her brother’s Joshua and Thomas are the fire and police chief.

Jane Carter is from Mackinac Island, Michigan. She is used to being the plain, study hard girl in her small town with a population of not even five hundred.

It wasn’t surprising when Jane received her scholarship for Yale University but she isn’t going to let anything stand in her way of keeping it, not even her loud obnoxious party hard roommates.

Thank god for my study spot. Jane thinks to herself a small smile gracing her lips. Jane spends more time in the Sterling’s Memorial library then she does in her dorm.

Slipping the black leather bound diary back into its hiding place Jane turns her attention back to her studies.

“I’ll catch you later P.” She murmurs to herself opening her textbook to the dog-eared page.

...

“Hey Squid.” Jane rolls her eyes at the nickname she was given as a baby.

“I was calling to talk to dad.”

“You mean you don’t want to talk to your awesome big brother?” Thomas feigns hurt.

“I’m better!” Jane holds in a laugh as she hears Joshua, her other big brother argue in the background.

Her brothers are bigger than her in more ways than one. As well as being on the plain side Jane is short. Not like freak show short just a bit below what is considered average. Her mother was the same, apparently. The boys in the family though are giants. That isn’t even as exaggeration, Jane’s dad is 6′4" and Thomas and Joshua are both 6′6", GIANTS!

“Can you two stop arguing and put dad on the phone?”

“He is at the garage.”

Now? Jane thinks to herself checking her watch.

“Well can you tell him I returned his call?”

“Sure thing sis. Everything ok?” Thomas plays the part of a loving over protective big brother well.

“Yeah I’m fine. Don’t you have any criminals to stop?”

“In my town?” Thomas scoffs. “Mackinac is the safest it has ever been little sister.”

“Good to know.” Jane laughs. “I love you.”

“We love you too!” Jane smiles to herself as she slips her phone into the back pocket of her jeans.

Jane would be lying if she said she didn’t miss her family. It has just been Jane and the boys for as long as she can remember. Maree Carter, Jane’s mum passed away when Jane was four. She was at an age old enough to remember her, but young enough not too. Andrew did his best to be both parents not just to Jane but to the boys as well. While Andrew hated the fact that his children grew up without their mother he would kill himself if they grew up without feeling loved.

Jane is still smiling to herself as she steps inside the coffee shop. She loves the feeling of warmth as she steps through the doors. Unzipping her jacket she is too distracted to notice the wall of people in front of her. Jane lands smack bang on her ass.

“ARE YOU BLIND?” A high-pitched squawk hits Jane’s ears and she visibly cringes.

Jane looks up to find three impeccably dressed girls all with their hair perfectly styled and their makeup perfectly set. Each one of the girls has a guy on her arm. Although at closer glance Jane notices they aren’t just guys they are gods, that is the only possible explanation for that much hotness in one spot. The two of the three guys would easily be the same height as her brothers and the other one isn’t far behind either.

“EXCUSE ME!” The squawk of the snarky blonde gets Jane’s attention. “What are you going to do about this?”

Jane looks down and notices that she is in fact drenched in coffee.

Great. Jane rolls her eyes. She pulls herself up to standing assessing the damage on her shirt.

“ANSWER ME!”

“What?” Jane snaps looking up at attitude Barbie.

“You spilt my coffee!”

“Yeah on me.” Jane mutters and one of the god-like guys chuckles.

"And on my three hundred dollar Jimmy Choos!” The blonde whines. Jane looks down at the ridiculously over priced, six-inch heeled, ankle boots.

“Don’t they retail for fifteen hundred?” Jane retorts without thinking. “Someone scored a Black Friday bargain.”

The Barbie’s eyes go wide before narrowing in Jane’s direction.

“Whatever bitch. You better hope I never see you again.” The snarky Barbie leads her friends out of the coffee shop.

As they push passed her, Jane feels like she is being watched. Jane looks up and her eyes lock with one of the Greek gods. He chuckles and smirks at her before letting himself get pulled out of the café by the angry wannabe model.

When they are gone Jane looks down at her now ruined Beatles tee and sighs.

Guess I don’t need coffee anymore...

“How do you know the retail price of Jimmy Choos?” The question comes from a table next to the entry. Jane can’t distinguish to whom the voice belongs to out of the two nerdy girls and the two nerdy guys.

“Excuse me?”

“You just don’t look like someone who actually wear-”

“Michael, don’t be rude.” The red headed girl cuts off the blonde haired guy with glasses.

“Trivia.” Jane says simply.

“I’m Emily and this is Michael, Ron and Julie.” The red head says with a grin.

“Jane.”

Emily frowns and Jane realises she must be coming off as rude.

“Sorry I have to go. You know? Change my shirt. Study. The usual.” Jane says quickly.

“Well we are here like all the time.” The guy named Michael says.

“Feel free to join us whenever.” Emily says her smile back.

Jane walks out of the coffee shop in a daze.

Did I just...what just...is it possible I just made enemies and friends? All in the same day...