The End

She was only sixteen years old, feeling like nothing in her life was going right. She hated this feeling and wanted to find a source for a new light of hope, but nothing saved her, even her own light felt beyond repair.

“TULLAH!”

Tullah squeezed her eyes closed as she pulled her blanket over her head, she didn’t want to hear her stepdad’s voice this early in the morning.

She heard her bedroom door push open; she heard her light switch flick on. She felt the tug of her blanket trying to be ripped off her body.

Tullah kept her grip tight on the blanket as she tried to hide under it.

“YOUR MOTHER SAID TO CLEAN THIS MESS UP LAST NIGHT! YOU FUCKING PIG!”

Tullah could taste the stench of his smoker’s breath through her blanket.

He managed to finally rip the blanket off her body, she kept her eyes squeezed shut.

“FUCK YOUR LAZY!”

She heard him kick the dishes that had been lined by her bed. She tried to keep herself calm as she felt rage boil beneath her skin.

“CLEAN THIS SHIT UP! AND THE SHIT YOU MADE IN THE KITCHEN!” He stormed down the hallway.

Tullah didn’t move, she feared to move. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to fight back. Her body was tense with emotion as she felt her eyes fill with pain from squeezing tightly, she wasn’t sure if she was starting to cry as she felt her jaw struggle to stay clenched.

She could hear him slamming the fridge door, she heard him slam down a coffee mug, yank open a kitchen draw.

“Fucking bitch! CAN’T CLEAN UP AFTER HERSELF! Lazy slut!” He didn’t even fail to mutter under his breath, he made a point to make her hear everything.

Tullah chewed down on the inside of her lower lip as she struggled to stay calm, she struggled to keep her tears away. She was used to hearing the angry spit from his lips, he hated her, and she hated him. If she had it her way, her mother wouldn’t have met the asshole that had been causing her grief since she was twelve.

She listened to him slam the backdoor shut.

Tullah opened her eyes as she listened to the outside sounds, listening to the motor of his car start, listen to the gates squeaking opening, listening to the traffic drive past, listening to the sound of his car pulling out of the driveway and finally listening to sound of his car driving out in the distance.

Tullah slowly sat up as tears dropped down her cheeks. She tried to keep quiet knowing her mother was still sleeping.

She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged herself as she found comfort in trying to stay calm.

Tullah carefully watched her step as she placed her feet down on the carpet that had been covered with dirty dishes.

Her asshole of a stepdad had placed them in her room, the food still on the plates, the half-drunk out of cups, the coffee stain spoons and mugs all in her room because she hadn’t washed the dishes for two nights in a row. It wasn’t that she was being a lazy bitch but because she just didn’t have the mentality to do anything besides stay in her room once she got home from school.

She looked at her alarm clock that sat on top of her bedside draw that she had had since she was a baby.

5:40

Tullah sighed, it felt like a never-ending cycle.

She lowered her gaze to the floor trying to see where her phone was amongst the dirty dishes, she sighed when she couldn’t see it on the floor.

Tullah carefully stood up, she carefully opened her cupboard grabbing out her green school shirt from the top shelf and chucked it on her bed, she threw a pair of underwear and a singlet onto her bed before rummaging through her cupboard for her school green pleat skirt.

Tullah pushed her cupboard doors closed, she carefully stepped over to her bedside draw and pulled open the top draw, she pulled out two socks and threw them on her bed, closed the draw than opened the middle draw and pulled out a pair of shorts before closing it.

She grabbed her shirt, shorts, singlet, and underwear from her bed, she stepped out of her bedroom than flicked off her light switch.

Tullah took three steps to the bathroom than closed the door shut and locked it. She dumped her clothes on top of the sink’s bench.

She looked in the bathroom mirror, her eyes red from crying and her face blotchy from trying to control herself.

Tullah took several deep breaths as she watched her reflection, she leaned her head against the mirror as she attempted to focus on the moment.

She closed her eyes.

Tullah kept her head against the bathroom mirror as she began to undress herself out of her pyjamas, dropping her clothes on the bathroom floor.

She breathed heavily on the bathroom mirror as she slowly pushed herself up, she took short steps to the shower taps and adjusted the water to her liking.

Tullah stepped under the showerhead feeling the water hitting down on her body, she couldn’t figure out if the water was too hot or too cold, she didn’t think it felt just right but she did know that she needed to use the water to attack the emotions raging through her body.

She stared out of the shower screen that spilt the bath and shower, she stared at the dusty and bent blinds trying to catch the glimpse of the yard outside the bathroom.

Tullah tuned out the water running and tried to focus on the outdoor sounds, the sounds of the birds, the sounds of the traffic. Just trying to focus on the sounds to block out the words in her mind.

She felt the water quickly change to cold water, she blinked slowly not wanting to leave the shower but knew she’d get the blame for no more hot water. She twisted the taps off and just stood in the waterless shower.

“Just breath” She whispered to herself as she shivered from the cold water dripping down her body.

Tullah slowly stepped out of the shower, she reached for one of the towels squashed on the towel rack and wrapped it around her body.

She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror “I need to get out of here.” She felt her lower lip tremble as she spoke that sentence “I gotta get outta here.” She blinked quickly trying to hold back the tears.

Tullah exhaled sadly as she lowered her focus down to the towel around her body, she slowly dried the water from her cold body before reaching for her clothes and dressing herself.

She squashed the damp towel back onto the towel rack before unlocking and opening the bathroom door, she stepped out of the bathroom and leaned her gaze into her bedroom seeing her alarm clock.

6.30

She took several steps down the hall, she took a step into the laundry, she unlocked the backdoor and pulled it open.

Tullah stepped outside, walking towards the washing line. She sighed as she noticed her clothes thrown all around the backyard. Tullah was used to it, she refused to hang up her stepdad’s clothes and this is what he did in retaliation.

She went around the backyard finding and picking up her clothes, shaking them from dirt and whatever insects may have found a home in it overnight than placed the clothes on the line.

She stepped back into the house and closed the backdoor shut, she wondered into the lounge room than into the kitchen.

Tullah looked at the dirty dishes scattered around the kitchen bench and sink. It was only two days she hadn’t done dishes though it looked like a month’s worth of kitchenware had been used. Almost every plate, almost every cup, almost every piece of cutlery that was in the house, almost every pot and pan; if it wasn’t in her room it was out of the kitchen bench.

This is why she didn’t want to do the dishes, three people in the house and it looked like there was more. She didn’t understand how it should be her responsibility to do all this.

Tullah rinsed out a bowl before she placed it on the kitchen table that was covered in various types of papers. She opened the top draw of the kitchen bench to see all the cutlery was gone, she looked around the bench trying to find one to use before giving it a clean with dishwashing liquid under the water, she gave the spoon a quick dry with her shirt and laid the spoon next to the bowl she had cleaned up.

Tullah pulled open the fridge door and sighed when she noticed the empty 3L milk bottle in the fridge “And yet it’s my fault.” She breathed as she closed the fridge shut.

Tullah placed the bowl and spoon on the drying rack.

She walked back up to her room, she grabbed the socks from her bed and her school shoes that had been pushed behind her door. She grabbed her school bag before walking back down to the lounge room.

Tullah stood in the middle of the lounge room trying to see where her phone might be, it had a habit of not being in her room when she woke in the morning.

She placed her bag, shoes, and socks by her side as she stepped forward looking through the spaces in the wall unit.

Tullah rolled her eyes when she found her phone behind the flatscreen tv. She carefully balanced the tv against the front of her body and she reached for her phone. She sighed a little as she noticed it was on 15%.

She unzipped the front section of her bag and chucked the phone in the same pocket as her phone charger.

Tullah sat down on the floor, she pulled on her socks and shoes.

She rummaged through her school bag looking for her purse, she found it buried under her schoolbooks. She lifted it out of her bag and checked inside her purse, seeing only three dollars in silver coins, she smiled when she noticed her key card. She chucked her purse back in her bag.

Tullah walked out of the backdoor trying to be quiet as she closed it shut. She walked out of the yard.

She watched for traffic before crossing the road and walking down to the bus stop.