Going to Heaven

There are things in this world that we can be certain of, some we can only assume, and some we just don’t know. Among many technological advancements, there has been one that changed our perception of the world completely.

What if I told you that heaven is real? I don’t mean in a way a priest or pastor claims, but scientifically supported evidence of the existence of heaven. Not just that but by proxy hell. We went even further and created a system to calculate our chances of getting to one of those mystical places. It’s a simple point system. Intentions don’t matter, what matters is keeping your score high and securing your place in the afterlife. David just found out that he might die soon, and with his current score, the future is looking hot and fiery. How far can he go to ensure his place in heaven? Does the goal excuse the means? Let’s find out...

“2027”

“Is that good? It sounds pretty high...” Asked the man in a grey shirt with stains on it. It used to be white, but time changed the color almost completely. The greasy hair covering his eyes and long, dirty fingernails complete the look of someone who hasn’t taken care of himself in a long while.

“It’s... Sir I am not going to lie to you... it’s pretty bad.”

“I knew it! God fucking damn it!” he exclaimed and immediately covered his mouth with his palm, almost piercing the skin on his face with the long fingernails.

“2007...”

“Great...”

Defeated he thanked the woman for help and left. What is he going to do now? The clerk told him that it was a bad score, but for someone so young as him he should have enough time to build it back. That was the thing... he did not have the time. He had a very limited amount of it. Death is a funny concept. It always seems so far away, almost like it’s never going to happen. The problem is that will. Death will come and it doesn’t matter how much we don’t think about it... it is the inevitable constant of this world. The man never thought of death, until he got his diagnosis. Terminal. He didn’t even listen to anything after that. What’s the point? The sentence is death and words aren’t going to change it.

“David?”

“Yes? Sorry, do I know you?”

David didn’t even realize when the sharp-looking man in a fitted black suit appeared in front of him. He looked like someone with money and connections, yet his face seemed gentle and kind with locks of blonde hair. David as someone working in a competitive business expected the man to have more of a cutthroat aura. That’s usually what sharp businessmen look like. Still, he couldn’t recognize the face. “It’s Martin. From high school. Don’t worry, people usually don’t recognize me without the braces and all the acne.”

Martin laughed softly. He wasn’t offended. David started to remember now. There was an image of a little skinny kid with acne and braces.

“From the electronics club? It has been ages. How have you been?”

“I’ve started a little business. Electronics if you couldn’t guess. It wasn’t going great at first, but then it kind of kicked off and now we’re doing pretty good for ourselves. What about you? Are you still doing music?”

Music. How long has it been since David held a guitar? Or felt the piano keys with his fingers? It’s probably been months, but in his head years have passed. Time has been warped ever since David’s life crashed and started burning. Putting notes together into a sweet melody and gently caressing the ear used to be his greatest pleasure in life. Now the sounds of his life are closer to cats fighting in the night. There’s nothing sweet and gentle about it. Now that he started thinking about it, very little gave him pleasure in life anymore.

“It’s been alright. Landed a good, stable job. It’s not great, but I can’t complain.” He lied. The job he landed was an actual nightmare. The money was good, but he dreaded every single day of his life. Every morning getting out of bed was an internal battle. David was an insurance agent. He made sure to charge people as much money as possible while making sure that his company pays out as little as it can. The entire business wasn’t considered inherently evil so everyone’s Karma stayed relatively stable. All the information was handed to the customers in a 57-page-long contract. Nobody ever read it, and even if they did they’d lose most of their comprehension after about 20 pages. It was designed like that.

David and Martin engaged in mindless, pointless small talk for a few minutes. A typical conversation that goes nowhere and has no purpose other than being polite. David didn’t want to waste his little precious time on small talk with people, but Martin seemed genuinely interested in everything so he felt bad about just blowing him off. He didn’t even realize when it happened, but suddenly the subjects became deeply personal. Not even sure what David said...

“Cancer. It’s terminal. They’re giving me about 18 months to live in the best case. If that wasn’t enough, I just discovered that I am almost definitely going to hell after that. I honestly don’t know what to do Martin...”

Where did that come from? David wasn’t a blabbing type. If anything he was usually the opposite. His last relationship ended because of how emotionally distant he was. That was about 3 years ago and since then he became even more closed and kept to himself... or so he thought. Here he is telling his biggest secret to someone who’s a stranger. Maybe his situation finally got the better of him and he just waited for all that to burst out. Perhaps he just forgot himself? Whatever it was the cat was now out of the bag and he had to deal with the consequences. Here comes the petty sympathy he hated so much. Here come the empty words of “It’s going to be okay” or better yet “It’s all in God’s plan”. To David’s surprise that was not the reaction Martin had to this information. It didn’t seem like it phased him much and almost immediately after David’s outburst he just calmly started talking.

“I know who can help you. You might think that nobody else shares that problem, but you’d be wrong. Some people specialize in cases like yours. I can give them your contact information and they can help you.”

That wasn’t something that David expected. He completely abandoned hope at this point and even the information that someone could help him didn’t cause any major reaction. Mainly because he just didn’t believe in what Martin said. On the other hand, why does it matter? There’s nothing he could do in 18 months that could save him, so why not give it a go? Worst-case scenario he’s going to hell. That’s the same outcome if he didn’t do anything at all. Suddenly he started feeling something resembling a tiny light in a dark tunnel. Not bright enough for the end of the tunnel to be close, but bright enough to know that it’s not far off. He agreed and gave Martin his phone number.

The light shining through the blinds shot through the windows and landed on piles of dirty clothes and takeout containers. Entire colonies of flies led their lives on top of unfinished food. Their existence might be better than David’s at this point. The overwhelming smell of rancid food and mold that didn’t bother him just a few hours ago now was repulsing. The sight of moldy food and dust on everything that before made him feel indifferent now induced a feeling of deep shame. It’s the ray of hope Martin’s claim gave him. He decided that if he was to turn his life around, it had to start with something.

He put on a pair of yellow rubber gloves and began to pick up all the food containers into a bin bag. The process was repulsing, to say the least, but somehow, he found it quite enjoyable. It was the beginning of something. He knew that the dirty clothes and garbage were the first things holding him down that he had to get rid of. Before he realized he started humming a familiar tune. That moment, however small it might have seemed, was the closest he had been to creating music again in months. This made the little ray of light just so slightly bigger than before.

His cleaning spree continued into the bedroom. It was even more of a mess than the rest of the apartment, except for the nightstand. That part was always spotless. He kept a picture of his long-term boyfriend there. Ex-boyfriend now, but it still reminded him of a better time. Back then David was still full of ambition and prospects for the future. It felt like another lifetime now.

After about an hour he had an apartment clean of dirty containers and leftover food and a lot of bin bags filled to the brim, protected by an army of flies. The flies weren’t too happy about the sudden move, but on the other hand, it didn’t make much difference for them. Especially if they knew they were moving to their version of heaven.

David started picking up clothes when suddenly he felt his pocket vibrate. Unknown number. Could it be the agency Martin told him about? He quickly answered the phone and politely asked who was calling.

“This is Abby from Going to Heaven Incorporated. We have been informed that you might be someone in need of our services. Is that correct Mr...”

“Dunn,” David responded.

“Done? I apologize if it’s the wrong number. I hope you have a nice day.”

“No, no, no! Dunn. David Dunn. That’s my last name. I heard about you from a friend, and yes I am very much in need of your services.”

He heard the woman laugh quietly under her breath and then joyfully continue.

“Oh, I am so sorry for that. Well then Mr. Dunn. We can arrange a meeting for tomorrow morning if that works for you.”

“Yes, tomorrow morning sounds great. Where would the...”

Before David could finish the sentence, the woman hung up the phone. Where is the meeting going to be? She never gave him any address. He tried searching for the company online, but he couldn’t find any physical locations, only strange websites with reviews from people who “went to heaven” thanks to the agency. At first, he thought that maybe it was all just an elaborate prank, but there was something in Martin’s eyes that seemed too innocent and genuine for that. Finally, a thought came to him. It’s a telephone meeting. They’ll probably call him to discuss the situation. He didn’t think about it too much and continued with cleaning.

The day was now ending, and the rays of sunshine went to the other side of the building. Instead, kitchen lights shone on a now clean and shiny apartment. The table, the sink, and the floor now shining, the smell of fresh citrus instead of mold and decay in the air. Some flies decided that they were not ready to move just yet, but most of them happily migrated to the nearby dump. There was still something in the air that made it less than comfortable to sit around. David started scratching his head trying to think of what that might be and suddenly he came to the realization. It was him.

He went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. For a second, he couldn’t believe he was looking at his reflection. His hair was greasy and untidy, his beard was grown and rugged, and his clothes stained and almost yellow. He took off his clothes and threw them in the bin right away. It took him about 30 minutes and finally, he recognized the person in the mirror. He got dressed and sat down on the couch. He looked around the place and felt good about himself. Most people wouldn’t consider cleaning their apartment an accomplishment, but for David, it was the first tiny step in the right direction, and it meant a lot. That was the first night in a long while that he didn’t cry himself to sleep. He didn’t think about death, about the fiery depths of hell. He thought of tomorrow.

David opened his eyes and looked around the bedroom annoyed. He’s just been rudely awakened by a loud knocking at his apartment door. He wasn’t sure what time it was, but it seemed relatively early. It was a Sunday and that’s the only day he usually gets to sleep in. He put his robe on and quickly went to the door so that the person could stop with their obnoxiously loud knocking. David swung the door open aggressively and looked at the man standing in front of him. He seemed to be roughly David’s age with dark, red hair. The hair was swept back, and the sides were very short. He was wearing a fitted black suit, with a red shirt and black tie. The man looked stylish yet almost comical with the suit matching his hair. The thing that stood out for Dave was the piercing amber eyes of the person.

“Good morning, I hope I did not wake you up, sir.”

“Mornin’. You did and let me tell you right away that I don’t want to buy whatever it is you’re selling. I just want to go back to sleep.” David responded with a sore throat.

“Oh, but I am sure you do need what I am selling, Sir. After all, you’re the one who agreed to the meeting on the phone.”

David was still half asleep, so it took him a while to realize that the man was from Going to Heaven Inc. It took him another while to realize that he never gave the company his address. How did this man get here? Did Martin give them the address? How could he? They hadn’t seen each other for at least 10 years and the only thing David gave him was the phone number. This creeped him out. The strange appearance of the agent, combined with the fact that they just magically knew his address. That made him also remember all the strange reviews he found online. Something was very wrong.

He was about to close the door in the agent’s face, but then it dawned on him that if he didn’t do something he was going to hell. He stared at the man for a few seconds and opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything the man chimed in. “Oh, terribly sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. Donovan Reed, senior executive and agent of Going to Heaven Incorporated.” Donovan shook David’s hand and smiled widely. “David. David Dunn. I’m sorry for being rude, I just didn’t expect the company to send someone to my home. The lady on the phone was...”

“Unhelpful?” The stranger finished the sentence for David. “Abby is unfortunately as incompetent as she is stunning. What can you do? You win some, you lose some. If you want David... I hope you don’t mind me calling you David... I can always give you a few minutes to freshen up before we talk.”

David let Donovan in and asked him if he’d like some coffee or tea. The agent politely refused and told David to take his time getting ready.

After a short while David and Donovan both sat down by the kitchen table with two cups of black coffee on it. David explained his predicament in detail. The strange agent sat patiently and listened to the whole story and then took a moment and started. “There is a tremendous number of cases just like yours. Way more than you’d think really... or maybe not. It’s only natural that some people might not have enough time to get on the good side of the guy upstairs.” David’s eyes widened.

“Isn’t that... blasphemy? Or whatever they call it?”

“What is?” Asked the agent not quite sure as to why his newfound client suddenly seemed so shocked.

“Disrespecting god... calling him the guy upstairs” Donovan laughed. Truth be told he laughed louder and longer than normal, yet David just stared at him and let him get all the giggles out before his answer.

“Blasphemy is a human concept. There’s no evidence that god is what we think it is. There’s no evidence for god to even exist. All we know is that there’s life after death and good people have it better than bad people... allegedly at least.”

That was not something he expected to hear from a person in this line of work. What did he mean allegedly? Isn’t their entire business focused on helping people get to heaven? Now that David has started thinking about it how are they even a business? Nobody said anything about the cost.

“Anyway,” David started “What about the money? How much is it going to cost me?”

“Oh, absolutely nothing. It wouldn’t be proper to capitalize on the possibility of a good afterlife, would it?” Donovan responded with a polite smile.

“How are you still operating then? Surely you need funds...”

“We’re more of a... charity. Some help the homeless, others make children’s last wishes come true. We make sure that the only barbeque you have is on a nice Sunday and not after you die. Unless barbeques are your idea of heaven then all the power to you.”

Again, with inappropriate jokes. This wasn’t at all how David imagined the agent to be. There was something extremely off about this person. Like a helpline operator making suicide jokes. Everything about this felt like a fever dream. He was expecting to wake up at any moment now, drenched in sweat in his dark and messy apartment.

“So how does this work?” he asked after a long silence.

“Well, the whole process is divided into 3 stages” Donovan explains while counting his fingers and gesticulating. It felt like he was about to start his business pitch. “The first stage is what we can the Awakening. It’s when the client comes to an understanding that hell is waiting for them and decides to act against it. This stage starts before we are even contacted most of the time. It ends right after.”

David was in awe about the sudden change in Donovan. He transformed from shady and inappropriate to elegant and professional. This gave him some hope about the legitimacy of Going to Heaven Inc.

“The second stage is what we call the Abandonment...”

“Don’t think there’s anything left for me to abandon,” David interjected.

Donovan looked at him for a second, then he smirked.

“I like you, David. You’re a funny man and there’s a lot of self-awareness in you.” His face became serious again and he continued.

"What I need you to abandon is the approach you had to life so far. You don’t seem like a bad person to me, but whatever you’ve been doing so far doesn’t work.”

David nodded his head in acknowledgment. He never thought of himself as a bad person. Not on purpose at least. He wasn’t proud of some things he did in the past, but at the end of the day, his intentions were always good. Unfortunately, his score did not reflect that, and it made perfect sense that he would need to change things about himself.

“I have some initial ideas. You see the process is never the same. We need to tailor it to fit you as a person. Is there anything that you are passionate about? Something you love? It can be a person, place, or even a concept.” Donovan pulled out a small notepad and waited for an answer.

He used to love many things. Many people. He always kept the world in awe. Now he felt like an empty shell, and nothing came to mind. There was a flash of his ex’s face there for a second, but that went away quickly.

“The more you think about it, the harder it is to answer. Quickly, just tell me the first thing that came to your mind.”

“Music” David muttered under his breath.

“Music? That’s fantastic. We will come back to that.”

“Okay, then what’s the last step?” He asked.

“The last step is what we call Ascension. Not in a literal sense of course, but in a metaphorical. Once you figure everything out, abandon your old habits, and find a way to make the world a better place... that’s when you ascend. After that, it’s all up to you how this story is going to end.”

Ascension seemed like a very ironic name. On the nose even, but he wasn’t complaining. Normally he’d make a snarky comment about that, but if he needs to change his ways, that’s a good place to start.