Student From Hell Part II

MIXED POINTS OF VIEW

CASSIUS’S POINT OF VIEW

I feel wet; I feel hot; my ears are ringing and my heart is thumping hard, fast, and painfully in my chest.

A voice… I hear someone calling my name, but I can’t tell who. It sounds like it calls me from miles away.

The memory of what happened sends another rush of excruciating pain through my body, which means that I’m not dead.

Why, God? Why couldn’t you listen to my prayer? What did I do so wrong that I have to feel the loss of my love over and fucking over again??

I feel someone touching me, but I don’t know his or her intentions, but I sure hope they are bad intentions, murderous ones. I hope that I’ll die as soon as possible and maybe see Adam, or even nothing at all. Anything is better than this, than the image of that hole in his head, the blood… oh, God, the blood.

“Hey, wake up!” The voice seems to be just a bit closer, but I still can’t recognize it. Maybe the ringing in my ears, maybe the thumping of my heart, maybe the excruciating pain, or maybe all of them together.

“Wake up!” I don’t know why, but I try to listen to the voice, but it’s hard. It’s like someone glued my eyes or put some weight on my eyelids.

“Cassius!” I manage to slightly open my eyes, but I can’t see anything clearly, just blurred small images.

I try to focus, see where I am, a glimpse… something.

“Look at me,” the voice insists, but I don’t know where to look. I can’t figure out where the voice comes from. It’s like a surround system that only disorients me.

It’s frustrating and it angers me! Why won’t this person just kill me? They must clearly know what happened. Why is nobody showing mercy?

“Cassius!” My name comes with a shadow that hovers over me. I close my eyes shut then open them again, trying to see, even though my whole body tells me that it’s not worth it, that I don’t want to see anyone other than Adam.

“Adam…” The broken voice is made of raw pain that rises with each passing second.

I couldn’t save him.

I was weak.

I was selfish.

I was stupid.

And now… now he’s gone.

My Adam is gone.

I feel the tears rolling down my temples, and I close my eyes in surrender. No. I don’t want to see anyone.

I feel two hands on my shoulders, shaking me, but I don’t want anybody’s touch except Adam’s, so I push, squirm and hit to get rid of them, and maybe, just maybe anger them until they lose it and kill me already.

I need Adam... his smile. That’s what I need, what I want.

My panic and pain are a little tamed as an image of Adam comes in front of my eyes. He smiles sweetly at me. That smile that makes my heart flutter. His bruised lips fill my stomach with butterflies and make me smile for a second.

Ohhh, God… his eyes… his gorgeous emerald eyes… Adam…

ADAM’S POINT OF VIEW

I wake up when I hear Cassius screaming at the top of his lungs. His breathing is heavy and fast; he’s drenched in sweat, calling my name and squirming.

I realize that he’s probably having a night terror, and I try to wake him up, but it’s like he’s sedated.

I try harder as I see tears rolling down his temples and my name barely audible due to the sobs.

I realize that shaking him won’t do it; quite the opposite. He’s become aggressive, kicking and throwing punches, so, after a punch in the jaw and several in my chest, I decide to slap him.

He jumps up, blinking several times and squinting his eyes to regain his focus.

I suppose that the sweat and tears are what make it hard for him to see, so I cup his face and straddle him, then wipe the sweat from his face with my hands.

“Love, are you okay?” I ask, worried as fuck, and he looks at me confused and shocked as if I am a ghost.

“Adam?” he asks with a trembling voice and with hope in his eyes, eyes that fill with tears once again.

“Yes. You had a nightmare. Are you okay?” He looks around the room shortly, then looks back at me and squints his eyes again.

I try to wipe his tears as they come so he can see me, but it’s hard to keep up.

“Am I dead? It doesn’t matter.” The question takes me by surprise, and I don’t get to question him because he grabs the back of my head and kisses me violently, sucking and biting on my tongue and lips.

I don’t get to reciprocate. I can’t keep up with his kiss. It’s like he’s trying to eat me, inhale me. A sloppy, desperate kiss that makes my heart grow but also break.

What did he dream of that made him cry with sobs and hiccups, sweat, and call my name with so much pain in his voice?

As much as I enjoy the kiss, I pull back because I can feel his warm tears on my cheeks and the saltiness on my lips, and I need him to calm down because it hurts to see him like this.

“Cassius, love, calm down. Tell me what’s wrong,” I plead in a calm voice, and he cups my face and looks at me like I’m some miracle.

“Am I dreaming?” he asks totally confused, with a strange mix of pain, hope, and guilt in his gorgeous hazel eyes.

“No. You had a nightmare. I tried to wake you up, but you punched me. You sleep heavy.” He stops breathing for a second, then he pinches himself hard, leaving a mark behind.

“You’re okay. You’re okay?” he states, then asks with a small, hopeful kind of smile on his beautiful face like he doesn’t dare to fully smile, just in case it’s not real.

“Yes. I’m okay. Are you okay?” I ask worried, and his face breaks into the hugest smile I have ever seen in my life.

He cups my face and turns my head left and right as if he’s looking for something, then he runs his fingers through my hair and looks at his hands as if he’s expecting to see something on them. He looks at his shoulder, then at the sheets, then back at me, confusing me even more.

“You’re okay. Oh, God! You’re okay!!!” He wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me tight, to the point where I can’t breathe.

But I don’t complain.

“You’re okay. You’re okay. Thank you, God. You’re okay. He’s okay,” he repeats himself as he pulls back, kisses my face, then hugs me again.

He repeats the process a few more times, and as much as I want to ask questions, I decide not to and let him process this in his own way.

“Talk to me. Tell me something. I need to hear your voice,” he pleads as he continues kissing my face, my shoulder blades, my neck, and every inch of skin that he can reach.

“Well, as much as I enjoy the attention, I’m a little worried. You’re clearly not feeling well. Should I go and get you some water, then talk about your dream?” He pulls back and all of a sudden, his smile is gone, and I can see the panic in his features and body.

“You need to go. You can’t stay here.” He pushes me, then gets out of bed and almost falls, then grabs the end of the nightstand to balance himself.

“Cassius, come back to bed,” I say in a pleading voice, but he shakes his head violently and goes towards the door.

“No no no no. You need to go. Now!” He looks down the hall, left and right as if he’s expecting someone to come, then he quickly goes to the window and looks outside.

“Cassius, calm down,” I say in a stern voice, but he shakes his head again.

“Where are your clothes?” he asks as he turns the lights on and looks around the room.

I stand up and go to him, cup his face and force him to look at me.

“Cassius, calm down, come back to bed and relax. I’m okay, you’re okay. You had a nightmare.” He opens his mouth to protest, but I shut him up with a kiss, then wrap my arms around his still sweaty body, pull him close so our bodies are glued, and kiss him slowly and gently.

His body relaxes against my touch, and he moans softly but not in a sexual way, but in a relieved kind of way.

“Are you calm?” I ask against his lips, but he doesn’t answer right away.

“I don’t know what your dream was about, and if you don’t want to, we don’t have to talk about it right away, but love, I can feel your heart hammering against my chest. You’re panicking. Let’s just go back to bed and lie down for a bit. Okay?” He sighs heavily, pulls back, and looks at me with a pained look.

“Adam… you really should go. I’m sorry that I led you on, and I keep changing my mind... I’m cold then warm... but I can’t… we can’t. And this time, it’s finally over—” I place my fingers on his lips, interrupting him because now I’m starting to panic, and tears well up in my eyes.

No fucking way.

“No. You won’t. You promised me four months, and you’ll give them to me. Don’t you even dare! I don’t care what you dreamed of. You won’t break up with me again. No. I refuse. I have four months. You promised, Cassius.” I bite my inner cheek hard and close my eyes to push back the tears, then bury my head in the crook of his neck.

“But Adam… it’s complicated. It’s hard… it’s bad. I’m bad for you. I’m… trouble. Please, Adam… let go and find someone else,” he begs, and normally I would do anything for him, but not this. It’s too damn painful. And if I have to stalk him, break into his house daily, become a damn needy kid, I will do it.

“No! You don’t get to choose for me anymore! And not because of a damn nightmare, Cas!!! It was a fucking nightmare. Probably a fear of yours!!! NO! I’m not letting you go! No!” My voice comes out louder than I mean to, but damn me if I’ll lose him because of a fucking nightmare!!!

I hug him with all I’ve got and repeat the word no over and over again until my heart stops hurting so bad and the tears stop rolling.

“Let’s go to bed and cuddle for a bit. Until we both calm down. Okay?” I ask as I pull back and look into his glossy eyes.

I know that he will fight this, and he will try to push me away. The terrified look on his face told me that loud and clear, but I’ll take it step by step. And right now, I need to calm him and try to find out what he dreamed of that got him in this state.

One thing is for sure, though. I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!

“Okay.” I take his hand and guide him to bed, and I see that the spot where he slept is drenched in sweat.

What the fuck did he dream of?

I lie right on the edge so he doesn’t have to lie on the wet side, lift my arm, and before I get to say anything, he places his head on my chest and hugs me tight, and I wrap my arm around his back and soothingly brush his face with my other hand.

“It was so real…” he whispers almost to himself.

“The dream?” I ask, and he nods.

“What was it about?” I try to get more info, but he shakes his head.

“Did something happen to me?” I ask again, this time not really asking for details, but I want to at least have an idea, and he nods.

“And why would a dream make you want to push me away again?” I insist because I have to get to the bottom of this.

“I… I can’t tell. I’m sorry,” he whispers so low that I barely hear him.

Well, he said he’s trouble, and he’s petrified of something. Someone. The way he looked out the window and down the hall said it all. But what can it be?

Did he borrow money from the wrong people?

“Maybe I can help.” I try my luck, but again, he shakes his head in refusal.

“Nobody can. Now please… let’s stop talking about it.” He looks up at me with hurt, puppy eyes, and I melt.

I guess I’ll have to find out on my own.

“It’s okay. You want to talk about something else?” I ask with a calm smile, and he shakes his head.

“I want to hear your heartbeats.” He plants a peck on my lips, then places a long kiss on my chest, where my heart is.

“Beautiful…” he whispers, and I can see him smile.

My heart picks up speed as I look at him and imagine that I’ll have him for the rest of my life, imagine him at the altar across from me, kids running around the house, him scolding them and I… well, I guess I’d encourage them, then we’d have a little ′fight’, then a lot of make-up sex.

“Your heart is beating pretty fast.” He looks up at me expectantly, with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s trying to keep up with my thoughts,” I admit with a smile on my face.

“Care to share?” he asks a little hesitantly like he’s not sure if he wants to know or not.

“Nope. I told you, I’m not telling you my dreams because they won’t come true. And even if your damn smile could bend a king to his knees, I won’t give in to it.” I close my eyes, refusing to look at his inhumanly gorgeous smile and cave, and he laughs softly, making my heart flutter.

“You’re a damn crazy kid.”

“Takes one to know one,” I reply cheekily, and he laughs again.

Good sweet Jesus, his laughter is the reason I breathe.

“It rubbed off on me. You’re contagious,” he complains, then kisses my chest gently, letting his lips linger a little while longer.

“Well, watch it. I’m the kind of disease that you can’t get rid of.” I decide not to continue and tell him that I want to marry him yesterday and spend every given second glued to him, cherish him, and worship him. I think it would be a little too soon, a little too creepy.

“No shit. You’re shocking me again. But… I have to admit that I’m not complaining that there’s no cure.” I open my eyes and I see that he’s blushing gorgeously.

My whole body fills with love, and I guess that the huge smile on my face made him look away and bury his head in my chest.

How the fuck could I let him go? Especially knowing that he has feelings for me? Deep feelings. No one cries over an insignificant crush.

I look at him and smile as he melts into my touch, and pull him closer if that’s even possible.

I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!

I scream in my mind, but I’ll be damned if I won’t fight for him until I get to tell him out loud.

I’ll find what’s going on, and fight with all I’ve got until he loves me as much as I love him, then marry the shit out of him!!!