Where my voice went

September 12. Monday, 7:20 am

The school morning was hectic. Everyone in the house was. My mother was already up at 5:30, making lunch for my little brother and somehow also blow-drying my sister's hair. In my bedroom, I stared at myself for maybe 15 minutes before actually getting ready. Which already made me a couple minutes late. I applied makeup, put on my favourite jeans and a nice shirt. When I walked to the bus station, I already saw my best friend. Aya Hussein. Aya had been my best friend for almost 5 years. The moment we got introduced to each other in 5th grade, we immediately clicked and have been inseparable ever since. She's the closest friend I've ever had. We met through a classmate. Risa Al-Ahmad. She was my friend in elementary school and happened to go to the same middle school that I was in. And because I knew her, I befriended her again. Aya was sitting next to her and the three of us all started talking. About 2 months into 5th grade, Risa had to move away. It was to a very far place away from where we live. She promised to keep in touch but never contacted us again after she left. But it wasn't that depressing, we hadn't known her for that long after all.

Looking at it now, I think that Risa had to leave for me and Aya's friendship to bloom. I honestly don't think we'd be the way we are now if we were in a trio. Because those obviously never work out.

I hugged Aya tight and then the bus arrived. We excitingly got in and immediately started talking.

Aya: "I can't believe that we're really starting ninth grade..Cleo we're literal freshmen now! Going into high school.."

I looked at her and half smiled. I would have been happier if we we're going to be in the same class. If we would graduate together. What am I supposed to be happy about if it isn't something with her? Sometimes I wish things went different. But that's just how the German school system is. Last year, eighth grade in march, me and Aya had to attend a counselling session with our parents. Our school system is parted in three parts. First, Hauptschulabschluss, the secondary-school qualification. It's the basic level of secondary education. It's usually enough to enter a vocational apprenticeship. Then there's Realschulabschluss, the secondary school with a qualification comparable in level to GCSEs. It's one above the first school and basically gives access to a wider range of apprenticeships. Lastly, the Gymnasium which can get you a Abitur. It's basically an American high school graduation which also can get you university entrance qualification. Aya's session was before mine. I remember me and my parents having to wait for so long because of Aya's session. When she then walked out alongside her dad, she was covering her face and she was gone pretty fast too. It already gave me a bad feeling. In my session, my teachers recommended me the secondary school with a qualification comparable in level to GCSEs. They said that my grades were okay and that it would be the best thing for me to do. Near the end of the session, I asked my teachers if me and Aya were going to be in the same class. My then German teacher, Ms Becker, laughed in my face. My English teacher, Ms. Simon's slightly smirked.

Ms Becker: "Oh please, of course not-"

I frowned. What the hell did that mean? My class teacher, Mr. Miller then stepped in and awkwardly cleared his throat.

Mr. Miller: "We can't say anything about it now Cleo, we aren't even in the next school year yet! Haha! The kids probably will be randomised and put into each class."

I stayed quiet and slightly furrowed my eyebrows. That sounded like bullshit to me, even back then. Those teachers are the same ones that try to separate me and Aya at any chance they get. They've been doing that ever since we got really close. It's honestly so weird. At the end of the session, my teachers smiled at me but I couldn't smile back. Since the start of this, everything has just felt so off. In the car, my mind kept drifting off to Aya, my ugly teacher's comment and just basically everything that happened that day. In my room, I was about to text Aya to tell her about my session and to ask her about hers when I suddenly saw a bunch of voice notes. Aya had told me everything about her session. She was crying.

Aya: "Dude what the fuck!!!! What the actual fuck is wrong with Ms. Becker and Ms. Wagner? They both just kept telling at me about my bad grades and they didn't even let me talk what the fuck??!! They just kept yelling at me until I couldn't take it anymore and started crying. I said I wanted to do the Realschulabschluss but Ms. Becker literally screamed at me, telling me I'll never make it. The recommended me the Hauptschulabschluss."

So that's why Ms. Becker laughed at me. I dropped my phone. Tears started filling my eyes when I realised what that meant. Me and Aya wouldn't be able to graduate together like how we dreamed of when we were younger. I wiped away my tears but they continued to flow anyway. She then told me how her father stayed quiet the whole time and didn't even try to jump in. I got so angry. He could've at least told the teachers to stop yelling at his daughter because THEY ARE YELLING AT HIS CHILD are they not? It was all just so unfair. I remember crying the whole night and waking up the next day with swollen, puffy eyes. But at school, Aya told me that we should still enjoy the rest of eighth grade, no matter what happens. And that's what we did. Eighth grade was the best school year we have ever had. And ever since that day, I never liked Ms. Becker and Ms. Wagner ever again.

Clementine: "I'm a bit nervous. And scared. How am I supposed to walk into a foreign classroom without you? I don't even want to think about that."

There was a awkward silence.

Aya: "Do you think we'll be put in the same class as the people we know from middle school? Like do you think we'll be put in the same class as some people from class B last year or class C or D?"

Clementine: "Don't know. I hope not. I want to see new faces and new people. Not the ones that know about the old me."

Aya: "Yeah same. I'm looking forward to seeing my new timetable. I hope our break times are similar so that we at least have chances to see each other."

I smiled. When the bus arrived at our school we interlocked our arms and walked in. The bus was late so we barely had any time to still speak to each other. We went to the bathroom to check out our makeup and outfits before hugging and looking for our individual classrooms. When I entered and took a look at my classmates, I got kind of disappointed. There were no new faces really. About like 5 kids from my old class were in there and the most kids were from class C. I basically knew them already! Although there were two new kids. One of them is rather semi new. Ivan Mikhailovich. He transferred in the second year of 8th grade to class C. There's actually not much that I know about him. All I know is that he's apparently a perverted, slutty teenage boy that vapes, smokes and stuff. Well what's new? Half of the boys in my grade are like that. The second new kid's name was Jonas Mueller. I then sat down at a table where four girls from my old class sat down, since I already knew them. When Ms. Wagner then suddenly walked into the classroom, my face dropped. What the hell is she doing here? Ms. Wagner smiled and then rang a bell to make the class settle down.

Ms. Wagner: "Alright kids, settle down. Some of you must already know who I am. But for the ones who don't. My name's Ms. Wagner. I'm your new class teacher. I'll also be your teacher for English class, music class and religion class. I'm looking forward to getting to know you guys."

What the fuck is my life? It's a fucking joke isn't it? Just when I thought I got rid of this witch, She just has to become my class teacher. How great. I sunk down in my seat. I already wasn't looking forward to this school year. I already have a bad feeling.

We then got our new timetable. It was okay honestly. I couldn't say much about it because I didn't know if me and Aya have the same break times or not. Some kids, the ones that already knew each other then started talking about the new timetable. I looked at the girls I was sitting next to. They were already talking to each other and I felt too scared to join in the conversation and looked at the timetable in my hands.

In the bus ride home, me and Aya then compared our timetables. Both of our smiles vanished.

Clementine: "Dude what the hell?! We barely have any chances to be together! Only like one long break on Monday..and we'll see each other after school on monday too but other than that, we only have one short break together on Thursday. That's nothing! And you're in a whole other building the whole time. We won't even see each other during passing period."

Aya: "Wait, I think we still have Friday breaks together. That's something."

I snatched the timetable out of her hands.

Clementine: "Oh my gosh! Thank Goodness I'm so happy. Oh and there's something I have to tell you."

Aya: "What?"

Clementine: "Ms. Wagner is my class teacher now."

Aya: "What the hell? That witch hexed herself into your life again. I'm glad she doesn't teach any of my classes. Gosh she's so annoying. It's like one can never get rid of her."

I sighed. That was definitely true.

Clementine: "I'm not going to let it ruin this school year. I still have a bit of hope."

Aya: "Any new students?"

Clementine: "Nope. Well yeah, a boy called Jonas. And Ivan is in my class. You know the guy that transferred last year?"

Aya: "Oh the boy that's apparently a whore and stuff."

Clementine: "Yeah.."

We then chatted about the upcoming school year and eventually the bus arrived to our bus station. We hugged goodbye and walked to our houses. When I arrived home, I quickly fell asleep. Let's see how ninth grade will be.

Lmk in the comments if you're interested and if I should continue. Thank you for readin