THE OLD JANITOR´S SON (English Beta version)

PVO FIL

The day my mother died, so did the hope of one day finding the woman who would share her life with me.

Mariana Rivas was a remarkable woman, and there will never be another like her in this life. She was one of those rare people who valued inner qualities over physical appearance. It was her kind soul it allowed my father Filomeno to find the happiness he thought was impossible to obtain because he was old and ugly. A poor janitor, he managed to overcome his circumstances to reciprocate the love my mother had for him. His efforts bore fruit, and together they built the small empire that my siblings and I now enjoy.

Company´s Cruz Rivas is the legacy our parents bequeathed to us. From a small shop at the university my mother attended in her youth, five more grew in different parts of the country, and I, as a good apprentice to my mother, have just increased the company’s assets, and today it is on par with Company´s Rivas , the most famous company in my mother’s hometown (belonging to my maternal grandfather).

Currently I manage not only my brothers’ stores, but I also supply them through a foreign company with which I made an agreement by buying a part of its shares (I am practically a major partner with 45%).

I am very proud of my achievements, and I know my parents would be if they were alive.

Unfortunately, we can’t have everything in life.

At fifty, I’m still single and a virgin. My physical appearance isn’t as bad as my father’s was at my age, but I’m not exactly handsome either. In fact, after so many sleepless nights for business, I look older and more worn out than any of my brothers. But if that weren’t bad enough, the reason I’m still a virgin is that I was rejected four times when I tried to have sex in my youth.

The size of my penis is a cursed inheritance from my father... of his four sons, I am the one with a much greater thickness and that instead of seeming attractive to women, it scares them away.

The last time I tried to have sex was a few days ago. The girl was willing, but her kisses and caresses had excited me so much that my erection was much bigger than before, and when I was just about to start putting my penis it inside her vagina, she pushed me away and confessed that Armando (my brother) had paid her to be my first, but seeing how monstrous my penis is, she wasn’t going to risk getting hurt.

The humiliation I felt was too much for my mental health and I decided never to try to be with anyone again.

I remember when I got home, Armando was there with his wife, and without caring about anything, I confronted him about his cruel joke. Anger overwhelmed me to unimaginable levels, and I threw him against the wall, but his wife stepped in and told me they did it to help me stop being alone.

Her words shattered the last vestige of my manly pride, and for the first time I got drunk.

Sitting alone in my office with one bottle in my hand, I began to analyze my pathetic life.

Three years ago, two of my brothers left behind bachelorhood. They got married the same year my mother died, and luckily for them, their wives are not only beautiful but also kind (it seemed as if my mother had sent them from heaven).

Seeing their happiness makes me feel miserable.

Armando was forty-four when he met Emilia (who was only ten years younger than him). Ernesto was forty-one and his wife Sandra was thirty-five.

The youth of their wives gave them the opportunity to have children almost immediately after getting married (Armando has three sons. Ernesto has two and his wife is expecting a daughter).

Being the sons of my father Filomeno, it is assumed that we all carry the burden of the problem of his dimensions in the sexual organ, but in my three brothers the thickness is not too much like mine and they have been able to have relations without hurting their partners, (even Gerardo beat me in that aspect despite being the youngest).

The sound of the door pulls me from my thoughts and I see Gerardo enter with an envelope in his hand.

I turn my face away because I don’t feel like talking and I let him know with a grimace, but the fool just ignores it and sits down in front of the desk where I am.

—The Cruz family never drinks —he says with a reproachful tone that I decide to ignore and take a big swig from the bottle —Fil, if our parents were alive, they would be very disappointed in what you’re doing.

—How can you know our father would be disappointed if you never even met him?

Gerardo’s face fell at my words and I felt bad for having said such a silly thing to him.

— Brother, forgive me! I didn’t mean that.

— Fil, I’m the only one of us who didn’t have the good fortune to know our father, but you’re forgetting that my mother always told me about her life with him. She was happy remembering him, and although she ended up crying with each story, I was never able to stop her from talking about the love of her life. Being the youngest gave me the advantage of being with her during those difficult years, and I understood that even though you all saw her as strong on the outside, inside she was already dead, and the day she took her last breath, it was joy she felt because she would be reunited with Dad.

—You definitely knew her better than any of us, and I see you met Dad through her too —I capped the bottle and set it aside —You’re right, neither of them would be happy to see me like this.

—I’m glad you understand —he smiled warmly at me, and it seemed to me that he had inherited my mother’s smile —Now that you’re calmer, I want to inform you that I’m marrying Sofia next week.

—So soon? You’ve only known her for a year —A discomfort in my chest made me realize that the news wasn’t very good for me.

— I know, but she’s just as loving and sweet as our mother... If I let her go, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.

—If she’s as good as you say, then congratulations —the tone wasn’t very happy, but it seems Gerardo didn’t notice.

—Thank you, brother! And now you’ll have to forgive me, but I’m going to travel to the town where Angelica lives, and since it’s very far away, I have to leave early —He stood up and handed me the envelope, which I suppose is the invitation to his wedding —Take care!

Reluctantly, I take the envelope and when Gerardo leaves the office, I throw it into the tray of papers that I never read.

I know I should be happy for him, but I can’t help feeling envy and anger. Gerardo’s wedding will only make my misery worse, since I’ll be the only one in the whole family who will never know what I will never know what it is to be loved, much less have the joy of perpetuating my lineage through a child.

—You lied, mother, no one will ever love a freak like me, especially not at my age!

My misery is unbearable, and although Gerardo is right that my parents would be disappointed if they saw me get drunk, I open the bottle and drink its entire contents.

The loser tears that come out of my eyes are another characteristic I inherited from my father, and I hate myself for being so sentimental.

Defeated, I throw the bottle and it breaks into a thousand pieces.

PVO LAURA

Miguel moves inside me fiercely, and the little moisture in my vagina makes the friction of our genitals hurt me.

Although I’ve begged him to be less rough, all I get is a punch in the face or his mocking laughter for being so stupid as not to understand that this is how it feels when you have sex.

Even the lubricated condom I bought him doesn’t allow his penis to slide in smoothly. My libido disappeared a long time ago, and I have to pretend I’m enjoying sex, making loud moans that excite him.

Finally, the torture ends when he ejaculates and leaves my body, and as always happens, he rushes to remove the condom to get dressed and go look for drugs.

I stay lying down a little longer and stimulate my clitoris with my fingers in a failed attempt to have an orgasm, but I get frustrated when I don’t succeed.

Angry at the disgusting life I’ve been given, I get up and put on one of the vulgar dresses that Miguel has bought me.

When I look in the mirror, the image reflected is more that of a prostitute than a decent woman, and I want to take off my dress, but the door opens and Miguel appears accompanied by one of the bosses who sell him drugs.

—Look who came to visit you, darling! —my lover says in a tone that I dislike because of its meaning.

—How long does it have to last? —I asked resignedly, and the worst part is that instead of making him feel bad, I made him smile.

—Twenty minutes, beautiful —replies the other man.

—Well, since the time has been agreed upon, I’ll leave you to enjoy it… see you later, darling!

Miguel leaves the room, and the dark-haired man with an athletic build quickly undresses. I watch him, trying to get aroused by his enormous muscles, but as always happens with the clients Miguel brings me, my body doesn’t react enough for me to enjoy what these men have to offer.

—Come here, beautiful! —He sits on the bed with his penis pointing towards the ceiling —Give me a blowjob.

God!... why doesn’t he just penetrate me already?... I hate giving blowjobs because they’re so disgusting. Unfortunately, I can’t refuse if I don’t want Miguel to take it out on me by whipping me with his belt, so I kneel in front of man and put his penis in my mouth to suck it hard.

—Wait! —He pulled my hair to force me to look at him —You always give blowjobs at lightning speed and I ejaculate very quickly, but today I want you to take your time because I need to de-stress.

Without hesitation, he forced his penis down my throat, and I felt horrible gagging from lack of air. The bastard controlled the speed, and it was so slow that tears welled in my eyes. If the torture of being with Miguel was long, this was endless, and it didn’t end with a blowjob, but with the most painful anal sex I’ve ever had. The wretch hurt me so badly I was bleeding. Miguel came in shortly after he left, and all he cared about was whether I’d paid in full. I sat up as best I could and begged him to take me to a doctor, but he downplayed the whole thing and left without giving me a penny.

I tried to ignore the pain by going to sleep, however, the stabbing pains wouldn’t allow it and, embarrassed, I called Luisa (my best friend from high school) to accompany me to the hospital (and also to lend me money to pay for it).

The doctor diagnosed me with a tear and gave me a few stitches right there. With my limited financial resources, I couldn’t afford a few days in the hospital, so I left slowly, in a position that clearly showed what had happened to me.

Luisa took me to my apartment and since I had nothing in the refrigerator she had to order food.

We had a few minutes of complete silence and I hoped to keep it that way until she left, but Luisa never misses an opportunity to remind me how pathetic I am.

—How long are you going to continue like this, Laura? —Her tone wasn’t angry, but very disappointed —That man you live with has ruined your life… Your romantic notion of being with the guy you gave yourself to for the first time is absurd.

—Miguel is the love of my life —I repeated the mantra that helps me endure this life.

—You were seventeen when you met him, and like all stupid girls, all you noticed was his looks. You didn’t take the time to figure out if he was right for you. You immediately opened your legs for him, and with that, you gave him the power to destroy you.

—I didn’t give him any power. Miguel is my beloved and…

—He doesn’t see you that way! —She raised her voice and slammed her fist on the table —To that bastard, you’re just a bargaining chip. He’s always offering you to his drug dealers, and you’re such an idiot that you sleep with all of them just to keep him from getting angry... Don’t you think you might catch some disease someday?

—They always use condom. Even Miguel has done so since the first time we were together.

—What a stupid excuse —I see her grab her bag and I get up as she approaches the door.

—Don’t go, please! —I walked quickly after her and felt that a point opened from the movement.

—I can’t take it anymore, Laura. You’re twenty-five, but you look thirty. The drugs you take have poisoned your body, and I dread the day you surprise me with a pregnancy or a venereal disease.

—And are you afraid that I’ll infect you?

—No. A lo que le tengo miedo es a verte morir lentamente o a ver que traigas al mundo a un bebé enfermo.

—I told you they use condom. I would never allow them to do it any other way.

—I don’t care what you allow or don’t allow. You’ve stooped to being a prostitute, and believe me, I’m not criticizing that profession. Many do it out of obligation or necessity, but you don’t even get paid because you sleep whit them so your man so he can keep getting high—she looked at me with melancholy. — You had a bright future ahead of you. You wanted to be a painter, but when you saw the gorgeous Miguel, all your intelligence was buried… I remember you telling me you liked his body and good looks, and it’s true, he’s blond, blue-eyed, white-skinned, slim, and tall, but apart from that, didn’t you realize he’s a freeloader, a sexist, a thief, and a woman beater?

—He’s... he’s good —I replied in a trembling voice —and he loves me.

—He loves you so much he lets other men sleep with you as often as they like… Laura, I honestly think you’ve slept with his drug dealers more times than with him, but if you’ve grown fond of this life, that’s your problem. This is the last time I’ll help you. If you get hurt again, ask your beloved to heal you.

Luisa left without caring about my tears, and I don’t blame her. Lately, I’ve been finding it hard to feel pleasure, and it’s because I’m fed up with being just an object for men.

Miguel is well-proportioned and his suppliers aren’t bad, but they only think about their own pleasure and always leave me frustrated. The sex has never been amazing, but it wasn’t bad. Now I’m just praying they finish quickly.

—Why did I have to notice Miguel? —I slowly sit down on the floor and cry harder.

The door opens and Miguel enters with a terrified expression that makes me get up quickly.

—What’s wrong? —I try to touch him, but he pushes me away and pulls a gun out of his pants pocket.

—I have to go or they’re going to kill me, but first I came to ask you for help —He grabs my arm and leads me to sit on the bed —A few days ago I started looking for older men who are still single but have millions in their accounts, and I found a pretty rich jerk. If you seduce him and marry him, I’ll pay off my debts and we’ll live like kings.

—But if I marry him, I won’t be able to be with you anymore.

—Yes, you can, only the old man mustn’t know that you’re sleeping with me too.

Miguel began to instruct me on how to approach the old man, but the more he told me, the less I wanted to carry out that plan.

My dream of woman was to marry Miguel in a beautiful church. I imagined myself dressed in white, walking down the aisle where he would be waiting for me at the altar, but now I would have to do that with an old man twice my age, and worst of all, he’s not very handsome.

I’ve had sex with several of Miguel’s suppliers and luckily, they’re attractive, but the old guy in the photo is very overweight, with very visible dark circles under his eyes and gray hair (I think the only redeeming feature is his gray eyes).

In the days following that conversation, Miguel didn’t mention anything about the old man, and I thought it was just fear that made him think nonsense, but the following week, he brought a man who looked very much like the old man that he wanted me to seduce, and I was surprised when he offered me a lot of money to give his brother some happiness while he was still healthy. The man emphasized his brother’s illness, but I stopped listening after Miguel accepted the deal on my behalf and just nodded to reaffirm my boyfriend’s decision.

Tomorrow I will meet my future husband, and all I hope is to be able to endure being with someone who doesn’t arouse the slightest sexual desire in me, but I love Miguel so much that I am willing to do whatever it takes to see him happy.

CONTINUATION ON MY WEBSITE

This chapter is a preview of The Son of the Old Janitor.

The complete English translation will be available exclusively on my website. The remaining chapters will not be published on Wattpad.

New chapters will be published on the website without a fixed schedule, so updates may be separated by extended periods.

Continue reading through the link in my profile.