Chapter One
They brought him into the prison that day. He kicked and screamed, trying his best to escape their grasp. He did not want to be locked away, but of course, nobody would. They got him down the stairs into the deep dark basement of the prison. That is where they kept the worst prisoners, as that was the most secure area.
“LET ME GOOOOO!” the boy cried out.
They did let him go, but into a cell and they locked it after him. They struck him with a whip multiple times through the bars before turning to leave. He was left alone in a cold dark cell.
On the same day, a group of kids were to go on a field trip. The group met in a small house where they learned things together similar to a school. In Mycono Kingdom, where this story takes place, there are no official schools. Two kids in the group were best friends named Màri and Jannine.
“Alright, now, children! It is time for the field trip! We are going to visit a real live prison!” the adult of the group said.
“Oh dear... This doesn’t sound too safe...” Jannine whispered to Màri.
“I think it sounds interesting,” Màri said.
Before Jannine could reply, the leader was already out the door with kids following him eagerly. The group walked to the next town over, Town of Seconds from the Mycono Farm Lands. It didn’t take long for them to reach this place even though they had to pass the Southern Spring due to an underground mineral called the Temporal Geode. The Temporal Geode is still well known today as the cause of time warps and inconsistencies in Mycono History.
“Now kids, do not touch the prisoners. Do not make fun of them either. These people are dangerous and are in prison for a reason!” the leader said.
A prison guard was happy and willing to show the group around in the prison. Upon reaching the lower floor, he lit a few lanterns and passed them out to the kids so they could see in the dark. It was at that point that Màri snuck off. She wandered into a different area with her lantern and came across a young boy. It was the same young boy who came in that morning.
She stared at him, seeing his wounds and how frail he looked. His skin was very pale, but stained with blood. His hair was light blonde, also stained with blood. Even his eyes looked like blood. Upon his head, he wore a strange little yellow cap. The little boy stared the little girl right in the eyes, quivering a little. Before Màri could say anything to the child, Jannine called her back to the group.
“I’m sorry... I... I have to go now...” Màri said to the boy.
A tear fell from his blood-red eyes as he watched her leave. Little did he know, Màri wasn’t going to leave him in there to die.
“Where were you, Màri?!” Jannine asked.
“Nowhere...” Màri lied.
Jannine knew her friend wasn’t telling the truth, but decided to keep silent anyways. Before long, the field trip was over and the group had to pass by the boy’s cell to exit.
Màri glanced at him again and whispered, “I will return...”
The boy cried harder as Màri left and darkness again overcame the dungeon.
When Màri returned home with a book in hand, her mother stopped her.
“Màri? Where have you been?” her mother asked.
“Learning with my friend Jannine...” Màri said.
It wasn’t exactly a lie, she was learning and she was with Jannine, but she didn’t tell the whole story. At least, not yet...
The whole dinner time, Màri didn’t speak and that made her mother worried.
“Màri, please tell me what is on your mind! You are worrying me!” her mother said.
Finally, Màri decided to admit her situation.
“Mom... When Jannine and I went on a field trip to the prison... I saw a young boy there... Why would a child be imprisoned?” Màri asked.
“Oh, honey... Don’t worry about it... If he was in prison, he probably did something to deserve being there... If you behave you’ll never have to end up like that,” her mother replied.
Màri couldn’t help seeing those pleading eyes in her head again.
“Is there any way to get a person out of prison?” Màri asked.
“There is an option to bail people out, but it’s not a very good idea. Most of those people should not be allowed back into our world,” her mother answered.
Màri went to her room to think about this. She was determined to help that boy, even if nobody else wanted her to. She just couldn’t leave him!
I think with some sprucing up this could be a compelling piece. :) I found the vague details and lack of (in some areas) to be confusing, and the beginning was abrupt and seemed more like a "here, info" rather than story. I personally would expand into great detail the first paragraph, making that almost a min-chapter of its own. If your purpose is to keep the reader in suspense or wonder, that's achievable as well with the mini-chapter. It would really add more to the story as a whole to see further into this boy without revealing any of the big secrets. :)