To answer why at least for now

Wonder why do i try so hard to live, streets packed with people yet feels too empty, my mind as clear as a glass yet too foggy to think, i have dreams when i sleep but not when i'm awake, no ambition neither. Searching under every rock i see for a answer to answer why. Why running away from people who probably care about you, why trying to hold up an empty facade to trick them, why don't you have a reason to live yet trying. Seems hopeless, maybe few traces of hope since i feel warmth, can enjoy food, can laugh so what's wrong? Maybe the fact that Nothing will last forever. Don't think so, ending doesn't ruin the memories of the journey also without an ending it would be meaningless as well. Why bother contuniuing a story without a purpose. So what is the problem then, there are lots of "why" to answer though there is no time to stop and think about it. At least for me. I shouldn't think about an answer but search for it in an fertile field of life. The search area is endless it would be good to stop once in a while to breath. Anyway wonder what other people think, i know everybody has his or her own struggle what i want to know is how do they think, how do they react. As someone who hates mind reading as superpower it is the number one thing i want to learn, maybe the second or third. There should be an end for this short "talking" so this will be it. I will ask lot more question that i will never find an answer, is this the beauty of life or dread and agony of it?