Well-developed

"It’s great how well-developed this story already is. The author has obviously put a lot of work into it and takes the story very seriously! That pays off. I liked the descriptions of the world that Alisa lives in; it really gave me a good impression of what there is to see and hear and made me able to relate to Alisa better. One thing I would advice the author is to revise the writing style a little bit. Many sentence constructions are the same: they start with a noun, and often a pronoun (“she”). This got a bit boring for me. It would make the story much more colorful if this was mixed up a bit! Nonetheless I think the story is great and I hope the author continues writing."