Ancora

My eyes glanced over to the exit leading outside this bleak, ill-lit, moist room. The iridescent verdant door showed off its sharp as sword glow and the dim light-bulb casted unfathomable shadows underneath the hatch’s strayed splinters. The door and I had a lot in common, a lot more than the person sitting beside me or in front of me would notice.

This door, and I, would become unlocked today. We will unhinge ourselves from this hell disguised in the shredded clothes of an orphanage. We will escape.

Today we will be free.

My rusted fork stabbed at the gooey mess sitting in front of me. I eyed the little boy taking place opposite to me; I could tell his stomach is churning at the sight of this so-called food. My dry throat surpassed a laugh: this boy must be new. But not a moment later, guilt took over me, then dilemma; should I laugh or cry for this boy?

He looked like he was at least 10. He looked like he hasn’t seen less than a quarter of what he should see in this wide, mysterious world. His light blonde hair is highlighted with sordid dirt that contrasted hugely with the golden strands, his azure eyes has lost their glints, and his mouth looked like it never got pulled at the edges.

Everyone else was an exact replica of this young boy, including me. The only difference was their age and their gender.

A heart-wrenching scream, or cry, emitted from the far left of the ‘dinner table’, attracting everyone’s attention, except for mine, because I already knew what happened. The little boy’s eyes widened with fear and the space in between his almost-invisible eyebrows knotted with worry. Worry that maybe one day it’ll be him who screams.

“Didn’t I tell you, a million times, not to drop food on the floor?” the bulky man with the shaved eyebrow yelled at the little girl as she bawled her eyes out.

She covered her face with her tiny hands, the sound of her breathing becoming ragged and faint as the man, James, swatted the thick branch at her frail back mercilessly. She was about to faint. I knew it. I had gone through this treatment countless times, and the bruises and scars on my back became a constant reminder in a world filled with abandonment.

“It..w..was an acid..dent.” the little girl tried to defend herself. In an instant, everybody had a sharp intake of breath. People who lived here knew when to open their mouths and when to glue them shut.

This was a situation where you need lock your mouth with a key and throw the key in the deepest parts in the biggest oceans. Unfortunately, this girl had done the exact opposite of that.

“HOW DARE YOU TALK BACK TO ME?!” James wrung the stick at her again.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

The little girl’s body fell limp to the floor.

Another girl, hesitated but determined at the same time, stood up. “STOP! She said it was an accident! Stop! Please!” she used her body as a shield for the other girl. Judging from their matching fiery red hair, I would say they were sisters, maybe even twins.

Now, this was a scene. Nobody has ever had the courage to stand up for anyone else, no matter who they were. But this girl here, she was a one in a million. Unfortunately, the rare ones always go extinct. What happens next proves me right.

James grabs the twins from their skinny wrists and pulls them both into the room at the far right corner. “Let this be a lesson to whoever tries to disrespect me.” He says with the ever-lasting grimace on his face and slams the door shut after him.

Murmurs erupt from the table like a raging volcano once the door is completely shut and any sign of a bald, dreary devil disappears. Everyone knows the room. It’s the place where kids are punished and adults are beaten to an almost-death. My fingers squeeze the fork until the knuckles are white, and my teeth are grinding against each other until I feel like them aching.

I can’t do anything.

I can’t do anything and that frustrates more than anything else in this world. Last time I had tried to save someone…let’s just say I regretted being born in that day. The screams and tears still haunt me to this very day, seeping into my dreams like shadows seep into the night after a long day.

So instead, I stand up from my chair and it creaks as it moves behind me. The little boy looks at me with his frightened eyes, blue as the sky he’ll never probably see again. He reminds me so damn much of myself that I almost see myself in him. But I shake my head and turn to walk up to the room where everyone bundles up to sleep. I shake off any memories of the little boy’s face. I cannot get myself attached to anyone.

The wooden stairs groan beneath my feet as I travel up the steps. Memories of when I first climbed those stairs came to mind, it’s been eight years.

I was still a 9 year old boy, ignorant of all the bad things out there lurking in the unseen shadows of the world. The same world that I thought would be my guide to the light that never shone in my direction. I was a carefree, unaware kid. Oh, how that lack of knowledge came to bite me back in the ass.

Someone bumped into me, almost pushing me off the stairs if I hadn’t had my hand leeched on the thin rail. I was immediately pulled out of my trance as I stared straight into a pair of green, emerald wide eyes.

Abigail.

The youngest member of our lovely community. Only seven years-old.

Not only was her specialty being the youngest person in this orphanage, but she is also the absolute bravest person you would ever have the pleasure to meet. Everyone utterly adored her, including me. Sometimes I even envied the amount of courage she had hidden in that little-heart of hers. But other times I was also scared the heavy weight would crash her.

She was too brave for her own good.

An unconscious smile wrapped around my lips, but promptly faltered when she coughed roughly, bringing her tissue up to her mouth.

“Are you okay?” I asked, momentary surprise striking me as I noticed the amount of concern laced with my voice.

This isn’t right. I promised not to get attached. I can’t do this.

She looked up to meet my eyes. “Duh.” She said and then passed me to walk down the stairs, not looking back once.

Abigail had a Rheumatic heart disease, but acted like it wasn’t a big deal and went on with her life like nothing was wrong. It’s funny because ironically, her disease is what made life pour out of her, and ooze into everyone else’s.

She was an inspiration to everyone in this orphanage. A promise of endurance, that maybe what we’re living with can be tolerable.

Hushed voices filled the room as I walked into it. I grunted as I recognized the owners of these voices: the celebrities. Believe it or not, even here the society divided itself into sections. Trying to ignore the demons of this hell, I fidgeted with my bracelet. It always works to get my mind off things.

“What the heck are you doing here?” Simon started, attracting his group’s attention and throwing it on my back.

I ignore him. I ignore them.

“Dinner time didn’t pass yet.” Sarah, Simon’s girlfriend, laughed as she checked her imaginary watch.

This is exactly why I didn’t hang out with kids my age. They were an absolute nightmare, and even if you were to enter their circle, you would still feel out of place. Well, at least that was my opinion. But then again, I didn’t feel in place with anyone.

Except for her

My fingers found the charm tied to my bracelet and I swallowed. This isn’t the time to relive those moments; I had to make my escape today. I won’t let a couple of assholes make my work for the past month go up in flames.

“Are you ignoring us?” Jacob, one of Simon’s ‘friends’, pushed me to the floor.

Pathetic

I bite my lips until I felt blood drawing. I wasn’t going to resist. I can’t risk getting in trouble. Not today. I got up, trying my best not to look affected, or mad, or about to rip someone’s head off their bloody neck.

“Oh! Is the sissy scared?” Simon yelled loud enough for everyone in this country to hear. I swallowed again.

I can contain my anger.

I will contain my anger.

Sarah glared at me, the devilish smile still plastered on her face. “No, he’s probably waiting for his knight in shining armor, like always.” She paused for a moment, “too bad she isn’t here to save him.”

My eyes widened and a lump started forming in my throat. Blood boiled in my veins and my hands started to shake unconsciously.

How dare she?

I turned my head so fast it could have easily cracked my neck. Everyone immediately stopped talking, or breathing. Or both. Nobody, and nobody, could ever talk about her like that and get away with it. Especially not the person who caused everything.

And they knew it.

I walked up to the bitch, barely keeping my hands at my sides. She looked unafraid, but I was sure as hell her heart was beating furiously against her chest right now. Just like mine was.

“You. Of all people. Have absolutely no right to talk about her.” I practically spat.

Jacob stood up in front of me, blocking my view of Sarah. “Hey. Fight someone your own size. Don’t pick on defenseless girls like poor Sarah, well, unless you are a defenseless girl yourself.” A couple of people laughed, and he grinned like he just won the noble prize. “Besides, your little friend deserved what she got. That’s what you get for protecting a sissy.” In an instant, all plans of escaping shot right out the door. Jacob laughed, only before the merry vibrating sound came out, he was on the floor and bleeding from his nose.

My hand ached and burned, but the satisfaction that came with it numbed everything else. Sarah and her other girl friends gasped like fishes. I didn’t waste another minute and sat on top of Jacob, my hands working like gears in a car engine; I wasn’t able to control them. Punch after a punch. Jacob’s eyes were begging for mercy and so were my hands, but he was the one who started it, and I wasn’t going to be the one who stops it.

I don’t know how much time passed, but as Jacob’s friends finally got off their fat asses and pulled me off of him. Not seconds later, a strong force of what seemed like…a stick…hit me from the back. Then I was back to my senses.

James is here. He’s beating me with his goddamn stake.

The hits are too strong and I can’t fight back. I lay down on the floor, receiving a swing after a swing like a pathetic piece of useless shit. Maybe that was who I am.

Lights explode from the back of my mind and hot tears trek down my cheeks. The tears weren’t the result of the excruciating pain, it was from something else. A memory. Only then I know I had passed out.

My eyes are able to make out a figure sitting on my bed. It was me. Me when I was still a little boy. My dad is also here. The little me and my father are two radiant blue figures of light. My dad picks up the little me effortlessly and throws him onto the bed, with both of them laughing like there was no yesterday and there is no tomorrow.

I miss him.

“And batman strikes again!” My dad’s voice echoes through this huge chamber that was suffocating me. He tickles the little me and he responds with a heart-warming sequence of giggles.

“No! I am batman!” He tries to fight back but to no avail, my dad already has his fingers on his stomach, ready to charge again.

“But I thought you wanted to be superman?” My dad tried to look serious, but the smile forming on his lips contradicted his creasing eyebrows.

“I changed my mind. Batman is better than superman, because he has Robin, just like I have you.”

My dad froze for a second, a look of surprise replacing his radiant smile. But then it came back, brighter than ever. “Well, it doesn’t matter, does it? Because my kid is stronger than both of them put together. He could beat them without even lifting a finger!”

A smile sneaks its way into my dry lips as the figures fade away like dust from shooting stars. And then I wake up.

First thing I notice is the blinding darkness, then the stabbing pain all over my back and limbs. I feel wetness on the top of my lips and my breaths are labored. My hair is matted on my forehead; sweat is covering me like another layer of skin. I try to sit up but the ache stabs me like the sharpest sword, and I’m immediately lying on my back again.

I grunt and open my eyes slowly, checking if my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I need to find something to support me as I sit up.

I need to leave today, and I can. Because like my dad said, I could beat superman and batman without even lifting a finger. I feel a flash of light coming into sight from one of the corners of the room.

Two identical faces sprinkled with freckles heaved into view; one of them is holding a small candle.

“I think he is awake.” One mutters as the other anxiously nods.