CRUSHed

I touched the knob on the earpiece and answered the call without looking at the screen. This was the fourth outfit it would have to do and I didn’t have time to try on another. I was already running late, but the tie wasn’t cooperating. Ugh! My final choice of a crisp baby blue long sleeve shirt tucked in a navy blue striped trousers would have to do. Maybe I should just abandon the tie and wear a scarf instead.

“I'm done! I'm done! I'll be down in a minute,” I wasn’t very enthusiastic about this but I needed to move on. This was the best way to do so. Watching myself one last time in the mirror and trying to ignore all the other clothes I had thrown about all over the floor and bed.

“Jake?”

My hand paused in the middle of yanking the tie off my neck. I stared at myself in the mirror. I thought I would have never wanted to hear this voice again. I wanted to move on. I already wasted so much time. The voice hurt. It hurts my heart. But that said heart skipped a beat and danced at the melody of her quiet sad tune. I missed her so much. All of them. But especially my best friend. I looked back at the phone that lit up on the chest of drawers next to my full length mirror in the walk-in closet.

“Hello.” I ran my hand over my chest and down my flat stomach, flattening the stubborn slackened tie.

“Hi.” My hand slid back up and rubbed my chest, trying to soothe the throbbing tingle.

“Hey.”

“H-how have you been?” Ugh! I did not have time for this. He'll be calling me soon to let me know he's downstairs.

“... Okay.”

“Ah ... we miss you.” Maybe her and the kids, but not him. I was sure he didn't even give me a second thought, just like last time. I do not need this stress right now.

“Ahmm... I’m kinda late you need to..uh.”

“Yes, sorry the supermarket..."

"Pass!"

"Wait! Jake! They've been trying to get a hold of you... me too ... to, to... sign off on some things."

"Don't care!"

"Please don't hang up," she rushed on. "Things are at a standstill and they... uh couldn’t get a hold of you. I can only do so much but you have more authority...”

I grabbed the phone from on top of the dresser and went to the bedroom. Yanking the ear piece out, letting it land on the over-crowded sheet and slapping the handset on my cheek cradling it like a lifeline. I sat on the bed, and crossed my legs.

“Linda!" As if addressing a wayward four year old, "what are you talking about? I resigned!”

“Uh... hmm yeah as the accountant, yeah I know but they need you to sign off on things.”

“What things?”

“I’m not sure,"she sighed, "but it's keeping back production and salaries...and...”

“What would that have to do with me? Why can’t he do it?” No matter what, I couldn’t say his name anymore. Not without losing my shit and wanting to hit something.

“I... don’t know where he is?”

Is this a trick? Why wouldn’t she not know where her husband is? She knows everything about him even when he was going to sneeze next week. It’s not like her to play games with me.

“What? Today? Well then check the GPS.” I shook my head, I was tired of this conversation.

I heard her give a watery sigh. “No. I haven’t seen him since that day,... the morning after.” Her voice broke and the wavering of her voice, severed my heart. I rubbed at the burn in my chest.

“What? Linda that’s been six months!” Six months, three weeks, two days, four hours, thirty five minutes to be exact. But who's counting. I glanced at the mark on the calendar that was strategically hung on the wall near the bedroom door. I would torment myself everyday when I pass it. I would see the broken heart soaking in a pool of blood with a knife stabbed in it. To anybody else it would look like scribbles in red ink but I could see the details. It was my drawing after all.

She sniffled.

“Yes...” she sniffled, “you, me and the kids own the supermarket now.”

“What?” I stood up abruptly but lost my footing and took a step forward to get my balance, but the phone slipped out of my hand. My hand shot out to catch it, it bounced on the back of my hand up again and then I caught it upside down. "Huh? What?"

“I figured you didn’t know, or you would have answered our calls. You have the largest percentage.”

I nearly choked when I heard the percentage she quoted.

“How? Why?”

She sniffled again and took a deep breath, "You need to meet with the lawyers... I just... wanted my best friend tonight, but I won’t keep you from your date..”

“How did you...?”

“I don’t blame you, did you put on the blue tie and baby blue shirt?” I looked down at the brown striped tie. Hmm that’s why. “You look better in that one, it’s good talking to you.” My heart burned from the sadness laced in her voice.

“Linda!? Did ... did he say when he’d be back at least?”

I heard her take in another shaky breath. I unknotted the tie and swiftly pulled it off my neck. Nearly choking myself in the process. Three steps back in the closet pulling open the tie drawer. Rummage around. I found it. The blue one. The phone buzzed in my ear, I looked at the screen. Another incoming call.

“I was served divorce papers today.” She hung up the same time the tie dropped out of my hand and the second call wrung louder.