Sigma

It all started on a cold winter Saturday morning. I was marveling at the melting snow, gently tapping the tiles of the first floor as it melted in the light of the rising sun. I leaned over the window sill and called out to Marcel, one of my classmates, who was walking on the snowy sidewalk.

Just like every other student in school, he pretended he didn’t hear me. I tried playing with them, mostly hide-and-seek as they wanted it so badly. So naive and desperate, I hid for ten minutes, then an hour, and then three hours. The silence spread like a virus as the moon peaked.

Some day, the police would hear me crying at my hiding spot and brought me to mom.This happened so often that she couldn’t be mad anymore.

The conversation between mom and the police was the same every time.The officerwould saythat an eleven-year-old child can’t have a tattoo, and momwould explainthat it is just a birthmark, the officer would apologize with the classic ’you understandmyconfusion, ma’am,’ and the next day at school, everybody would hear a rumor that I would joinmydad in prison. What hurt the mostwas that they didn’t even try hiding it, they would come tome in the canteen, askme how living in prison with dad is like.

’My dad was not in prison;j He was in the army.He’s better than the family of every one of you!’And every time I would say that, the other kids would start to fight me.I never fought back.First, because I knew it would make things worse. Second, because I was terrified.My heart tried to rip out of my chest and leave.My hands banged my eyes as I tried protecting my face from their feet.I was so used to it that I often didn’t get a single bruise.

Then I cried in mom’s arms, asking her, ’What is so wrong with me that I can’t make friends? What did I do?’

‘Nothing,’ she’d say.’You are just different.They’re so scared that you’ll become better than they are because of your differences that they try to prevent you from using them to your advantage. And youknow what? I think you should.’

Those words she said told me she listened to not only mywords, but also my heart, but one question remained inside of me for years: What are those differences that I can use to my advantage?

I never asked her.I had to find it on my own.

Despite all thosedarkgrey clouds in my head, Itried to fit in and actlike the others, trying to findthosedifferences even though the behaviorsI faked seemed too muchlike an act to me. But I stayed in character and continued to try to get Marcel’s attention, waving and gesturing at him from the window. The shadow of the house retreated faster and faster as the sun’s rays grew stronger and more radiant then smouldered Marcel, yelling and falling to the ground, melting into a puddle, where only a pile of smoking bones were left.

‘Epsilon!’Mom shouted, banging the door against the wall. ’We’re out of time!Come on!’As she tried to close the shutters, a beam of light hit her arm and she let out a scream that made my ears ring.She couldn’t remove her hand from the window, and I could see the fear in her eyes as the light continued to burn her skin.

Without hesitation, I gripped her and pulled her into the next room, calling out to her in concern.

’Mom!’ I shouted. ’Are you okay?’

’I’m fine, it’s just a scratch,’ she said after a moment, but I could see that her left arm was still smoking, charred and blackened from the burn.

We ran down the stairs and huddled against the living room wall, like we were at the edge of a cliff while the temperature inside made us bathing in our sweat. Mum reached for the doorknob next to us and the Cadillac in the driveway exploded. An explosion so powerful that it created a shockwave that destroyed the veranda just a few meters in front of us.I hid behind mom as she protected us with her arms.I felt pain in my upper back and scratches on my forearm and calf.I saw a piece of glass stuck in mom’s arm. She noticed a lump on her hip and withdrew it before tossing it to the floor, then did the same with the one on her arm. The pieces evaporated.

I winced as I watched Mom remove the small piece of glass from my back. Despite the pain, I tried reassuring her that I was fine.I felt my blood boiling through my sky like I was a volcano ready to erupt.I couldn’t imagine how much it must have cost mom, who was also injured in the explosion and was trying to care for both of us.

‘Hold on tight, okay?’Mom said emphatically, carrying me in her arms and guiding us quickly through the door, which she closed behind us with a thud, plunging us into darkness.

Mum flipped the switch, and I started screaming as the light flooded the room.I was scared that the light would melt my body, and I stumbled, falling to the ground like a baby. Mum hugged me tight, stroking my hair and whispering soothing words in my ear. She didn’t let go of me until I had calmed down a few minutes later.

Mom sat beside the light wooden stairs that led to the door, resting her injured arm on her lap, sighing in relief. How could she be relieved with an arm like that? I wondered. It was visibly swollen and discolored; the bone was cutting through the skin, and the air, which smelled like burning charcoal, was making me nauseous.

’Mommy, your arm?’I asked.She might be in such terrible pain, I thought.

’I’m fine, it’s nothing,’she said, trying to reassure me as she pulled me closer to her good arm. But the bone sticking out from the skin said otherwise.

’What’s going on, ma?’I asked.

‘Please, Sigma, don’t shout,’ she said, flinching at the sound of my voice. ’My arm is already hurting badly right now, and I don’t want to have to put up with that or anything else.’

’But I...Didn’t... shout,’ I replied, apologizing.

’What’s going on, mummy?’

’Well, you see, the sun is there to make you hot enough…’

’But it’s too hot!’ I sai cutting her off.

’I know! But please!Sigma, honey. Stop screaming,’ she replied, her hands nervously shaking.

She took a deep breath and continued ′The planetprotects you from gettingtoohot, like a shield, but the shield is starting to break down, and that’s why it’s getting so hot.People are probably trying changing this right now.’

‘But how?’ I asked, feeling overwhelmed. ‘Can we do something?’

’I don’t know, Sigma.I don’t know,’ she said, shaking her head. ’All we can do now is stay inside, avoid the sun and find a way to survive, no matter what.’

’Ma? ’Are we going to die?′ I said, throwing myself into her arms.

Mum let out a moan of pain and told me to be careful as shepulled her injured arm away before wiping away my tears with her thumb, admittingshe didn’t know. That’s what I loved about her, she always told the truth, even when it was painful. Nobody I can’t trust more than her, I reasoned, beginning to feel better.

I rested my head on her lap and closed my eyes, feeling comforted by her presence. Despite the injury, Mom was still able to holdme and comfortme, even though shehad to fight the pain, twitching her arm and straining her face as shestruggled to move, so Ifelt comforted.