1. Wanderer
I wonder if he’s realized by now.
I can’t know for sure, I left with no way of finding out.
A part of me wonders if a part of him already knew. Maybe he saw it coming, maybe he knew something was amiss but was simply too tired to acknowledge it.
Is he mad? Is he overwhelmed by his emotions? I can see him, clear as glass in my mind, tears falling down his face, a painful scream in the solitude of our home.
I can also see his emotionless face, I can see him just sigh in resignation.
I wonder which one it is. Maybe the first one, maybe the second, maybe none at all.
I kept walking.
The coat is not nearly enough to warm my cold bones, my nails are blue and my breathing is visibile as I make my way through the fog. The wind blows in my ears and I walk, and walk, and walk, step by step I leave him behind.
I am not entirely sure of what I am doing, exactly. I hadn’t known I was leaving until my hands found the coat and everything was too much, too loud for me to think straight anymore, my will to stay faltering and whitering like an old dead plant left too long in the sun with no water.
But even if the thought only entered my mind in that moment, it doesn’t mean he didn’t see it coming. He always knew me better than I do.
I can’t turn back now.
Her little face comes to my mind too abruptly, too suddenly, like a punch to the chest my breathing stops and the tears roll down in waves.
I give another step.
And then, another.
Too late to turn back now.
With anger, I realize I don’t want to.
