Chapter 1: Small Steps
As soon as it was 8pm, Jen pressed the “call” button. Gigi was sitting right beside her on the couch and calmly pouring wine in the glasses. Suzie was in front of their eyes watching Turning Red. The four year old was lost in the world of animation.
“Hellooo, my girlsss!” came the excited voice from the other end.
“Fattyyyy!” exclaimed Jen.
“Hey Fatty!” Gigi raised a glass.
“Soo good to see you two. How is everything?” Fatima asked.
“We are fine... we are fine.. how are you?” Jen had now settled the phone on the table and held her wine glass.
“As good as we can be, you know like most brown people in Texas” Fatima winked. “Farhan keeps busy with his work and Saif and Syed remember their mom only when they are hungry, so we can safely say I am good.”
“Oh shut up, you’re loving it, I know” Gigi took a sip from her glass, “you look great momma! You’re glowing!”
“Aw, thanks, G.. But to be honest, I am always very tired. Motherhood is exhausting”
Jen nodded “Just keep taking naps whenever you can and make sure you’re eating the right things”
“I try” said Fatima “Is G staying the night?”
“Nah, I asked her to, but she says she is busy”
“I didn’t say I am busy, come on! It’s a weeknight. My boss is already looking for an excuse to fire me. I can’t be late in the morning”
“But you don’t stay even on the weekends” Jen was disappointed now.
Gigi opened her mouth to say something but she felt she didn’t have the right words.
“Hon, you can always go to my parents’ place, be it weeknight or weekend” Fatima interrupted “They’d be very happy to have you and Suzie over, and they are just a few houses away”
That was true. Feroz Malik and Jen’s dad, Rick, were very close friends. They had to be. Their daughters grew up like sisters. On most days Jen came to the Malik house from school with Fatima. Every time Rick had to work late, he knew his daughter would be safe and well fed at the Malik’s. Zahida was more than a mother to Jen. On nights that would scare Jen or push her into panic mode, Fatima would rush to their house and hold Jen in her arms. She would talk to her, sleep next to her, and help her during exams. Her other pillar of support was Gigi who had joined them in the sixth grade and was became inseparable. Theater was her life but she later chose a more conservative profession as an accountant.
Chesapeake was all that these girls knew as they grew up. But today, Chesapeake was different, home was different. Home now sounded as an alien word to Jen. These happy innocent days were all a lifetime ago. Seven years is a long time, and for Jen, it was a lifetime of prison sentence. These perfect days were before she had left everything for a stranger. A stranger who separated her from her dad, her friends, her home, her town, everything that was truly hers. This is what psychopaths do. They manipulate you, they hurt you, and they can turn you into a different person. And sometimes, you end up marrying such people and that changes your life forever.
Jen had left her house to find a home for herself. Much to the disappointment of everyone she loved, especially her dad, taking this risk made sense at the age of 17. Brad was 20, charming, creative, hard working, and extremely romantic. Not to forget, an exceptional singer. Or so she thought. Miami was not the home that she had envisioned but she tried her best for the next six years. Getting used to Brad’s indifference was gradually becoming a part of her life but it was Suzie who she had to protect at all costs.
“I have spoken with my mother-in-law. She may visit us next month to help me with the boys” Fatima continued.
Jen realized she had missed some part of the conversation. But zoning out in moments was the norm now. Healing may take long time, the therapist had said. Only if these episodes of zoning out could erase her scars. But erasure does not heal the wounds either.
“Did you write anything new?” Fatima was now looking at Jen.
Write? Oh, right! Writing was probably one thing that Jen’s friends remembered about her well. They were her biggest cheerleaders and were quite fond of her love poems. Those were the days, when they were fifteen. Careless, carefree days. But does she remember this about herself? Does she remember herself at all? Does she now? She tried her luck at some writing but she was pushed inside the house by the maniac husband of hers. A creative writing program was a distant dream. In fact, so strong was his influence that she began thinking she had no depth, talent, or intellect. She still does hold the same opinion of herself. He did it all so smoothly, so lovingly, so deftly that he should really be considered if in a parallel world they are looking for a professor to teach a course on how to ruin someone’s life. At least, this world would be spared.
“I... umm.. no. I did not like what I wrote this week..” Jen was looking down at her knotted fingers now.
“Hmmm... It’s okay. You’ll get there”
Will she ever? Right now she had no semblance of reality.
“Uh-oh... looks like the boys are up. They do not sleep peacefully even for 20 minutes. If one is up, the other is too..” Fatima got up from her place and started walking.
“It’s okay, take good care of yourself, and we’ll talk soon” Gigi had a soft smile.
“Alright. Let’s talk next week then. Bye... Love you all”
“Bye! Love you!” Gigi waved at the screen.
“Bubyee... take care, Fatty” Jen hung up.
“If I sit here any longer, I will pour myself another glass and that would be too bad. I have to drive and I have to wake up early” She rose from the couch and gestured toward the last sip in her glass “This is delicious” she tossed the drink in her throat and closed her eyes, “too good!”
“Uncle Mark got it. You can have it, I am not much of a wine drinker anyway” Jen looked disinterested.
“You should be” Gigi was now wearing her coat “Or we can have it when I am here next time. Bye, Suzie!”
Suzie turned her head and said an almost inaudible bye.
“She is hooked to the film” Gigi turned the lock to open the door.
“You know G, you can bring your friend here, Suzie and I’d be in my room. It’s okay, you know”
“No it’s not, Jen!” Gigi was now stepping out, “You don’t understand. First of all, he is not my friend, he is a stranger. Second of all, I don’t want that sort of influence on that little child. I have a different lifestyle you know.. I...”
“I get it, I get it. It’s just that you shouldn’t be bringing strangers to your house either, you know..”
“Shut up, who’s that?”
Jen looked into the direction that Gigi pointed.
“I don’t know.. I didn’t even know someone lived in that house”
Another lie. People had been working in the house across the road for about a month and it was clear that someone was shifting. The fact that Erika May lived in that house eight years ago changed nothing.
“She is beautiful. Wasn’t that room the kitchen?” Gigi was curious now.
“Maybe they remodeled. Who cares?” Jen definitely cared.
“Woaaah, who is that now?”
“G, do you realize that two people are taking a selfie and you are invading their privacy?”
“Not like I am photo bombing or anything”
“Stop it. You either get back into my house or you get into your car”
“He is hot!” Gigi was loud and pointing at the man who was now stepping out of the house with the beautiful blond woman by his side. He was totally hot.
“Stop it, G. You’re embarrassing me. Maybe they are married” Jen immediately pushed Gigi towards her car.
“Embarrassing you? Like old times?”
There. There was the classic Gigi Simon snort laugh. This woman should have stayed indoor. Jen rolled her eyes. How can anyone be mad at this goofball for long.
"Relax. They are not married. He hugged her. And now she is walking away"
"Maybe he is married to someone else"
"Or may be he is not married to anyone"
This time Gigi was loud enough to be heard by the stranger who was now looking at them.
"Oh, sorry"
Right. Pretend all innocent like you didn’t even see him, G!
"Not a problem with me", the man gave a smile and raised his hand in a.. hello?
“I am Gigi. This is my friend Jennifer. Did you move in recently”
Oh god kill me now! Jen was screaming internally.
“Hey! Nathan. Yes, moved in today.”
“And that pretty woman is.. your wife?”
Oh god! Stop it!
The guy was a little taken aback by the question. It was dark but it was clear that he was uncomfortable.
Why is my bestie such a bitch? Jen wanted to disappear.
“Cousin, actually”
“She is beautiful. Good night.”
He smiled and turned away, “Good night, girls”
“Awesome. Not his wife” Gigi whispered.
“Please leave”
Gigi gave a big smile and a quick hug to Jen. She then hopped into her car.
"And text me when you reach home" Jen was serious
"Yes, momma!" She turned the key and drove away.
What a silly friend Jen had. She stood for a few seconds before she turned back. As she shut her door she saw Nathan standing at his window. It felt like he was looking at Jen. Since her separation from Brad, this is the first time she noticed a man noticing her. Darkness didn't do him justice. While he was still too far, he was visible under light now. He didn't smile but she was under his steady gaze. May be he didn't know that Jen was looking at him too. Or did he? Jen shut the door immediately. Her heart was racing.
